Bi First Time Debauch

I'd been incredibly high on cocaine. Two, three, four months of constant partying.

My story isn't epic. There was no fall and rise of a man, or the questioning of ethics. I wasn't derelict. I went to work, did the routine, but I lived for the high in those months.

Even now, when I look back, I would love to be as carefree again, to enjoy the thrill...

What thrill? For me, cocaine opened up a sexual floodgate. Every sexual thought, sexual idea, sexual want, sexual impulse coursed through my body to the nerve endings.

Yes I had coke-dick (limpness for the layman) when I did a lot...and I did a lot. I was an animal...there was never enough cocaine.

I was hanging out with a girl. Cute? Yes. Bitch? Yes.

She talked a good game about sexual adventure, but she never delivered. She loved to see me naked...she loved to be touched...She blew me once...I came on her face once....she wanted me to kiss her...cum hanging off her cute lips...on her nose...I would've said yes.

I'd bought a bag of the stuff...my own stash.

I was ready to get laid...but more-so...you know...get fuckin' freaky...you know, rimming her ass, pissing on her, being pissed on, her begging for anal, tying her up, slapping, spanking her.

Tonight would be different.

My room generated electricity. I was alone, nude, in the dark. I was feeling horny. My thoughts raced...

I wanted some action...I logged onto an Adult Community...I surfed a bit....I ended up in the Male Only chat room...

And there he was...but Alex had another name onscreen...

I'd French-kissed a guy when I was 18...on a dare. I was nervous, but didn't mind it.

Is it the coke...latent homosexuality...natural curiosity??? I don't know...but I wanted the rush, the rush of doing something ...

Doing something considered 'not right' by my peers...my straight-laced upwardly mobile...say things to shock...affirm-my-heterosexuality-by-bashing-others-but-never-having-a-girl-in-the-sack...friends.

Alex was approachable and immediately interested...we chatted privately...got to getting to know one another...I stared at his picture, lean, hairless, hot.

We were a great match that night...I wanted to be blown, he wanted to be face-fucked...

He made a move...invited me over....I didn't think...I said yes...directions...shower...another couple lines...in my car...driving to see Alex.

He lives in an affluent high-rise. I met him downstairs at the tenant vehicle entrance. He let me in...

Small talk...I hate small talk...zigzagging through hallways, an eternal elevator ride...into his place...

He's educated and athletic...books, art, exercise gear...

We stand across from one another, admiring one another.

His mouth moves. "Take off your clothes."

"Okay." I feel stupid and small. I'm nervous. My heart beats...is it the coke or because I'm about to let a man see me naked, wantonly?

My shirt comes off...he eyes me, his look wondering to my crotch.

I breathe deeply and begin to unbutton my jeans...I kick my shoes off...I fight for balance as I take my socks off...

I want him to enjoy this...is he?

No more small-talk...small comfort.

I slide fingers into my boxers...my penis is thickening. They come off without any resistance. I thought I would have fought the impulse to strip...that somehow I would excuse myself and get to my car, where it's safe.

I'm more naked than I've ever been.

He takes a few steps closer. I look down...I can't look him in his eyes.

"Sit." And I do.

He takes off his shirt and sits on the ground before me. Now I'm hard. Any shame is gone. He makes me feel okay to have a hard-on around him.

He looks up at me and all I remember is his hand enveloping my cock and saying...."You're hot." then he begins to suck my cock.

I look down. The room is ablaze in light....my senses are reeling...this isn't real...I'm fantasizing again...

He blows me...he knows HOW to blow me...very wet, very deep...he sucks my shaved balls...he wants me to thrust into him...how I wish the girls I've been with wanted to be used like a fuck-doll...I just want to fuck their mouths...their pussies, their asses...that would have kept me interested...they would have had my love and dedication.

Its never just sex in a relationship with a girl though, it's a lot of caressing and emotions...this is raw.

He stretches his cheeks with my cock...he takes his time rolling it with his tongue...savoring it...liking it. How does a man like a cock in his mouth so much???

He jerks me slowly while tightly sucking my tip or my balls...

I want to cum for him...to perform for him...somehow that act would show him my appreciation...Will he swallow my cum? Please let him swallow my cum.

He sucks me for what feels like an eternity.

"Want to go to my bed...I can lay back with my head off the bed and you can face fuck me while I jerk off."

I panic...things are different on a bed...will he pull me to him? Will he try to kiss me? I can't do that...I'm not comfortable with the bed.

"No." I try to sound in control..."Finish me off here."

I don't really understand dominance, control, and submission.

Alex wanted to be used. I was not the one to use him. I wanted to explore this new situation.

I reached for his penis. It was longer and thicker than mine, hairless. I stroked him. He sucked me.

I had him stand...I wanted to suck him...I hesitated but it was easier than I thought. I took him in and I sucked him...it wasn't hard to deep-throat...I don't know why girls complain about orally satisfying a man. He didn't let me for long.

He wanted dick more than me...he sucked me until he was tired...I was covered in his saliva...it felt nice and warm, covering my cock, balls, leaking to my ass.

Why hadn't I cum? Was it the coke, nervousness, a combination of both?

He was done though...He asked me to jerk-off. He watched me.

It was odd watching him watch me jerking off.

I had to tell myself it was okay. I finally came for him. I came a lot. I never had so much cum before or again.

And there I was naked, saliva and cum-covered, with a man between my legs...he stroked me slowly as I calmed down.

He offered me his shower. He watched. I asked him to join me. He declined.

I dressed.

I left.

I've often fantasized about oral sex with a man again. Now without the coke, healthy, alert.

Maybe someday a young, in-shape hot man will want me again...until then I'll continue trying to figure how to make a woman want to be my sexual object.