After showering, the two friends-with-benefits lay naked in bed, but neither were ready for sleep just yet. Unlike the mechanic, they were both night owls. If Yoshi was alone, he'd be reading a book or playing videogames on his laptop, or maybe even watching some porn, squeezing out a sneaky load before slumber. But Amelia was here with him tonight, and besides, he'd had enough sex these past two nights to last him a month. His pussy felt like an empty warehouse.
"Yoshi, can we talk for a minute?" asked the goth. Part of her mind was on her suffering uni essay. It wasn't going to write itself.
The emo turned his bedside lamp on and rolled over to face her. "Sure, babe. What's up?"
Amelia wasn't quite sure how to express the thought that'd been bouncing around in her mind since her shower. "You like me, right?"
The emo giggled nervously, brushing his fringe out of his eyes. "No, you're an insufferable bitch, I hate your guts, grab your shit and get the fuck out of my apartment."
She knew he was joking, but she wasn't sure if he was deflecting as well. "Wait, I'm serious. Do you like me?"
"Yeah, babe, of course I like you. What a strange question. Why would you be lying in my bed if I didn't?"
The goth reached out to touch his face. "I don't know... like... I really like you."
"Then it's settled," Yoshi declared. "We both like each other. And that's good, because you're smarter than me, so you can help me at exam time."
"Yeah... but... that's not what I mean," she whispered, struggling to find the right way to frame her feelings. "I like hanging out with you," she said, hoping that'd be enough to get her point across.
"I like hanging out with you too," replied the emo. "We had drinks last night with our friends, and we had dinner together tonight, just the two of us. Like, babe, I love spending time with you, I feel so comfortable around you, and I'm already looking forward to waking up next to you tomorrow. Hey, maybe we can go out for breakfast in the morning? I reckon I'll sleep late tomorrow, but maybe we could have breakkie at lunchtime? I could seriously go for some blueberry pancakes with maple syrup."
The goth chick would've loved to, if not for her essay. She knew she was gonna spend an exasperating Sunday in the library. She let the emo's breakfast proposal die on the vine. "It doesn't matter," she sighed, hoping she could explain better in the morning. She rolled onto her side, facing away from Yoshi.
The emo knew there was something serious on her mind. Under the covers, he scratched her back lightly with his painted black fingernails. He watched her breaths slow and deepen until she fell asleep.
Tiredness arrived for the emo now, but his mind was still whirring.
He pulled the bedclothes up across her shoulders, making sure she was warm.
*
Amelia was first to awaken on Sunday morning. She'd set an alarm on her phone to allow maximum library time. She heard Yoshi grumble as her alarm disturbed his deep sleep. She shut it off quickly, got up, and headed to the kitchen to make coffee.
After turning on the kettle, she headed to the bathroom, squatted over the toilet bowl, and split the whisker.
Returning to the kitchen, she added milk to the twin mugs of instant coffee she'd prepared and brought them to the bedroom. Yoshi blinked, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. "Fuck, babe. What's the time?"
"Sorry for waking you up so early," apologised the goth, "it's half past eight. But I need to go, because I've still got this annoying fucking essay that I need to write." She smiled an awkward, pained smile. "I made you a coffee. If you want more sleep, that's cool with me, but I was kinda hoping we could talk for a minute before I head back to campus."
The emo sat up in bed, accepting the offer of caffeine. "Thanks," he whispered, taking a sip. His hair flopped in front of his bleary eyes. "What did you want to talk about?" he asked, still half-asleep.
Amelia sighed. "Well... you and me, I guess. Us."
Yoshi sipped his coffee before resting the mug on his bedside table. He didn't know there was a 'you and me'. "What do you mean?"
"I said last night that I like you," she began. "You remember?"
In the fire, sound and light pass by.
"Yeah, and I said, I like you too." His face looked so innocent, so unknowing.
She felt frustrated, knowing the gravity of what she wanted to convey was floating away, light as air. She frowned. "You know what I'm driving at, don't you?"
He shrugged absentmindedly, staring at a random mark on his bedroom wall. "Maybe... yeah... but I don't know what you want me to say."
She felt so stonewalled by his response she nearly drained the rest of her coffee, picked up her shit, and left. She took a deep breath before trying again. "Tell me you like me."
"I said that last night," protested the emo. "I think you're awesome!"
"I mean, thanks, but that's not what I mean," she replied. "I like you... umm... I think I like you more than just as a friend." She didn't know why he was making this so hard. Surely he knew what she was driving at. Nobody could be this clueless.
The emo's gaze remained fixed on the mark on the wall. "I'm not very good at this," he admitted. "What do you want me to say?"
Amelia was at a loss. "I don't really know either." She prepared to leave; this was a waste of time. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. I need to get going, I need to write this stupid essay..."
"Wait," interrupted Yoshi. "I need to tell you something." He reached for his coffee and paused for a second, letting the painful memory of a past event flood back into his mind. "I haven't thought about this for a long while, but I want to tell you." He took a breath, and she sat on the edge of his bed, ready to listen.
"When I was in my last year of high school," began the emo, "three years ago, this new girl appeared in our class one day. Her name was Hasret. She was beautiful, but she was very quiet. Her parents came to Australia from Lebanon, but I don't know why, and I guess our school was the closest to where they settled. She spoke fragments of English, but nowhere near enough to hold a conversation. She grew up in Beirut speaking Arabic, but nobody in my class knew her language, so nobody could talk to her. Nobody bullied her or teased her, everyone just left her alone, because nobody knew what to do or say. She must've been miserable, having been taken from her home to this strange place on the other side of the world where she didn't fit in and where everyone ignored her. Even though it wasn't a malicious ignorance, maybe she didn't know that. So I went to the library one day and borrowed a book called 'Teach Yourself Arabic', and I found some resources online. I learned the absolute basics, and when I approached her standing alone in the quadrangle one morning and said 'good morning, Hasret, how are you today?' in Arabic, her face lit up with joy. I think she was thrilled that someone was trying to make a connection with her."
The goth had never heard her FWB talk about his past in this much detail before, and she'd never heard this particular story. But she thought his gesture towards the Arabic girl was beautiful, and she wondered if she was still part of Yoshi's life. If she was, it might explain his reluctance to participate in the conversation she wanted to have.
"Anyway," he continued, "we lost our virginities to each other. My parents are free-thinking agnostics, but Hasret's were super-conservative and ultra-religious, and were presumably struggling to acclimatise to life in a strange, new country. I never met them, I only know what she told me about them. In fractured English, she told me her parents wouldn't allow her to spend time with non-Muslims, so there was no point even raising the subject of an introduction. We had to sneak around. One Sunday afternoon, she made an excuse with her parents about something or other, and we arranged to meet for a picnic in a small reserve on the outskirts of town. We lay on a blanket on a quiet, secluded patch of grass under the shade of a small tree, and we had sex. It wasn't planned, it kind of just happened. Afterwards, I told her I loved her in Arabic, and she said the same back to me in English. She had the keys to my heart, and all she needed to do was open the door. But her family moved away two days later, and I never saw her again. Maybe her parents found out about us, or maybe they moved for some other reason, I don't know. I never even got the chance to say goodbye. She just disappeared." He sighed, looking out the window. "I've never told anyone about this before."
Amelia remained silent, sensing he wasn't finished.
"I've never tried to find her. Like, it's not hard to find people on social media if you're really determined, but for me, this is all in the past, and I want it to stay there. But I'll never forget that afternoon under the tree." He sighed. "I just hope she's happy, wherever she is." He paused again, looking up at Amelia through damp eyes. "So much for commitment, hey? That's when I shut my heart down and became the high school slut." He shook his head. "Commitment sucks."
