Birthday Blowjob

It was my birthday. 41st. I sat between them on the couch. My wife Beth and her friend Bret, who identifies as mostly gay. I like making out with girls and guys, he says. It's just pussy, ugh. No thanks. There were some drinks sweating on coasters on the glass coffee table, a glass pipe still smoking in the center. A marijuana fog was thick in the room and everything was silent a long minute.

Then, Beth was grinning evilly, undoing my belt and pants.

I was glad I was half-hard when she pulled my briefs down and started jerking me. I didn't want Bret to see me all the way soft.

Beth turned my head to her and we kissed, made out as she massaged my cock. Then she motioned Bret to her and they kissed in front of me.

Mmm, Beth said. You're a wonderful kisser. Soft. Almost like a girl.

She turned to me.

Try it.

I shrugged, trying not to hesitate.

After all, this man would be giving me head momentarily. I kissed him on his lips softly, allowing him to linger.

Uh-oh, she said, kissing me and massaging my prick. Now you've gone gay for real.

I reached over to the coffee table, took another long slug of my gin drink. Then, I pulled Bret to me and kissed him longer, deeper.

Ooh, I got tongue that time, he said to Beth.

I might never get him back, she grinned, biting her lower lip.

Bret took my cock from her hand, started playing with me. Beth and I kissed. I pulled a strap from her tank top off her shoulder, fondled a braless breast. I pulled away, looked at her.

What do you want? she said.

I looked at Bret, back at her.

###

When we married in our late 20s, birthday head was established: Every year on your birthday, the birthday boy or girl gets head until orgasm. Then, Beth, at 37, gets diagnosed with TMJ.

The first year, we just skipped it.

In sickness and health, I had kidded her.

But she really did feel bad about it. I tried to dismiss it, but after I still insisted on making good on her birthday, she started getting creative. The first two years was an artificial mouth on the back side of a pocket pussy. We had implemented pocket pussies and dildos before, so it wasn't that odd. Still, while a sexy surprise, the dislocated mouth was a little weird.

I told her not to bother the next year, let's just have sex, and she got a little offended.

Then, for my fortieth in Vegas, she got a call girl. We were in our hotel room, cleaning up for dinner when there was a knock on the door. Beth was in the shower. At the door was a blonde in a long coat.

Hi, I'm Candice, she said. I'm here for your birthday BJ. Can I come in?

Wha -? I said.

Beth came out in her robe and sat next to me. Held my hand as I got sucked off.

This year, though, it was her friend Bret.

He loves giving blowjobs to straight men, Beth said. He's got an account on this app called BroJobs even.

I'm not straight, I grinned.

You've never done anything sexual with a man in your adulthood, she said. He doesn't need to know our fantasies.

I'll set it up, she said. Just say the word. Just don't do anything dumb like tell him your not straight...

I was weirded out at first. There is nothing wrong with it, I know. Everyone who's honest with himself has some sexual fluidity. Still, societal mores caused me conflict.

So that's why when Beth asked what I wanted: Take off your pants, I said.

She slid her jeans over her wide, strong hips. Dropped them on the floor.

Nothing is sexier to me than watching her masturbate.

Touch yourself, I said.

###

Now, Bret was stroking me, and as Beth fingered herself, he bent down and gave the head of my dick it's first lick.

Oh, I said.

Yeah? Beth said, leaning back, legs spread, showing me her labia and the patch of blonde brown hair above it.

Yeah, I said. Fuck...

And he took me in his mouth. I breathed deep, trying not to think too hard and looking at Beth. I didn't want to ruin the experience, whether it turned out to be my thing or not. Beth licked her fingers, started rubbing at her clit. Bret went up and down on my cock coating it with saliva.

Oh, I said, looking her in the eye.

Happy birthday, baby! she said.

Bret sat up, watched Beth.

I really like your pussy, he said. That one's nice... I can't stand these bitches with the full shave. Like they want to pretend they want to be molested. That, though... That's a woman's pussy.

So it's an exception? I said.

Not exactly, babe, he said. I like this here better. Mmm, he said, taking my cock in his mouth. You have such a nice shape. Fits the oral cavity...

I told you, Beth said.

She leaned in and kissed it as he came off. Then she leaned back and started fingering herself again. Now, Bret was sucking me in earnest. He cupped my balls, licking them as he stroked me, then slid me in his mouth again.

Rinse, repeat.

Watching Beth, I licked my fingers and reached over, found her slit. I slid two inside her. I tucked them around her pelvis bone and lightly pulled her pelvis to me. She bucked. I did it again. Moaned sharply.

Fuck, she said. I think I just came.

Bret was still going to work on my cock. Three exes, my best friend as a kid, and a call girl. This was the best blowjob I had ever had.

What about you? she said.

I'm close, I told her.

She got on her knees, leaned into me. I rubbed her pussy as she was kissing me, whispering in my ear: Come for me...

Come for me, baby. Babe...

Where? I said finally.

She kissed me, looking me in the eye.

Ask your boy, she said.

Bret pulled off without waiting, but stroking me without missing a beat.

It's okay, he said. In my mouth.

And I disappeared between his lips again. His fingertips on my balls. Beth, kissing my neck and mouth: Come for me. Come for us... I want you to come in his mouth.

I closed my eyes.

He stopped as my dick spasmed, let it unload.

When I was done, he came up, swallowing. My wife wiped some off his lip, kissed him.

Oh God, I said. Man...

Then, I kissed him too. Just lingering shortly on his lips.

Thank you, I said.

Happy birthday! he said, smiling.

Happy birthday, Beth said.

Kissed me one more time.