It took a lot of work to set this up. Aligning the woman I was in love with into a conspiracy against her boyfriend, John, my room-mate. Playing people like chess pieces without them becoming aware is a subtle art requiring skill, patience and careful planning. This planning occupied my mind to such a degree that I never stopped to examine my own motives. I didn't think about why I was doing it, just how it could be done.
The seeds of the idea had been in place for a while. I had become Rebecca's trusted confidante. She had revealed to me several intimate details about her and John's sex life, including the key fact that he enjoyed cheesy bondage games. He liked to be tied up while Rebecca went down on him.
"How about blindfolds?" I asked slyly.
"Blindfolds?" Rebecca said. "We've never tried that."
I already had her trust, so the next step was easy. I convinced her that I was a) gay and b) in love with John. Neither was true, not exactly, but I am after all an actor, so I was able to pull off the deception. Rebecca's reaction to these revelations was much as I had predicted. She was not jealous, but aroused.
"Well, if you were a girl, it'd be different," she said. "But it's not like you're trying to steal him away from me, right?"
"No, absolutely not," I assured her. "I just want to suck his dick."
She shivered as if an electrical current had been passed through her body.
"That's fun," she said.
"Oh God, I bet. Tell me again . . . how, uh, big is he?"
Rebecca giggled and held her hands a respectable distance apart. I whistled sharply, as if impressed.
"How thick?"
She made a circle with her thumb and forefinger roughly the size of a half dollar.
"Man oh man," I said. "Boy's got some meat to him."
Rebecca looked up at me with the strangest expression on her face. "You like to do that?"
"Oh, yeah. I'm like you. An incurable cocksucker."
Rebecca shifted in her seat and crossed her legs. The room had suddenly grown uncomfortably warm for the both of us.
"Yeah," she agreed distantly. "That's my favorite thing to do."
"You know what I like?" I asked. She was going to love this. "I like it when a guy isn't really hard when you start, so you can feel him getting big and hard right in your mouth. That's incredible."
Rebecca rolled her head back and gasped slightly.
"Yeah, that's neat," she whispered. "But I like it when he's just rock hard from the start. You know how sometimes they get so hard that you wonder if it's just going to explode and you think the guy must be, like, in incredible pain. Everything sticks out, you can feel every ridge and vein and your mouth is so full."
I swooned a little. I was starting to lose my objectivity.
"It's funny, though," I said slowly. "When a guy comes in your mouth, it's always a surprise. I mean, you know it's going to happen, but it seems like it always happens before you expect it to, and there's always twice as much as you thought there would be. You just let your mouth fill up with this stuff that's being pumped in there and, just for a second, you don't know what to do with it. It seems forbidden to swallow and you have to . . . overcome something within yourself to do it. Some taboo. But, when I swallow it I . . . I don't know, I get some pretty weird ideas."
"Like what?" Rebecca said.
"Oh, like it's not just his semen. Sometimes I like to think it's a piece of his soul he's giving up for me. Some irreplaceable element of his being. And it's like when I eat it, I take that part of him into myself and it becomes a part of me forever."
There was a full minute of silence between us.
"Pete?" Rebecca said finally.
"Hmm?"
"Do you want to hear something strange?"
"Sure."