"I'm looking for a wife."
"A wife? I'm sorry, what?" I was confused by his answer.
"You know, a wife-like partner. Someone to raise any kids we might adopt. Cooking, cleaning, that kind of thing."
"Is it the nineteen fifties?" I tried to joke back.
"No, I just prefer a traditional family structure, that's all." He was clearly serious as he said it.
"Isn't being a gay man looking for a male partner already going against that type of 'traditional family structure' though?" It was the nicest version of the question I really wanted to ask that I could come up with at the moment.
"I'm gay and yes, I date men exclusively. But it doesn't have to be that much different than a normal family."
"A normal family? Are you for real right now? You want a man who will act like a woman. An old fashioned, downtrodden woman, not even a real, modern woman. Just say what you mean." I was angry now. What a jackass.
"I did and you flipped out." He scowled at me.
"Right, when you said you were on this blind date looking for a wife. Well, I'm a guy and I'm not a fan of 'normal' husband-wife roles, so I should probably just leave now. Thanks for the drinks." I stood and left forty dollars on the table to cover my food that I hadn't even gotten yet.
On the way out of the restaurant I handed the server another twenty. She looked confused but wished me a goodnight. I walked to the parking lot and got into my car.
Another pointless night wasted on a date that went nowhere. I wanted to find love so badly but I was starting to think it wasn't in the cards for me. Ever. Fuck.
"You're home early. Bad date?" My twin sister was sitting on the couch in a blue face mask when I walked into the living room.
"Yes, Dee, another fucking bad date." I slumped onto the couch next to her.
"C'mon Dex, tell me what happened." Delilah wasn't going to let this go, I already knew.
"He flat out told me he was looking for a wife. It went south after that."
"He sounds like a loser."
"Maybe, but I'm clearly a loser too. Once Sean dumped me, I should have known I was meant to be alone forever." I grabbed the glass pipe off the coffee table and took a deep hit.
"Sean was the fucking loser, babe! Look how well things went for him when he let you go. I bet it's the biggest regret of his whole life."
Dee was right about some of that. Sean was an ass and a loser. He'd left me and our marriage for an eighteen year old that drained his bank accounts in a matter of months and then ghosted him.
It served him right, but I still missed him. I actually missed the life we had together more than I missed him. We'd met in college and by the time we graduated, we were committed and ready to get married.
We built a life together, encouraging one other and finding success for each of us. His business had taken off and I'd landed a dream job. We were renting a gorgeous apartment and living a version of the life I'd always wanted.
Or so I thought. He'd never been faithful, I found out after the fact. He literally moved my stuff out into a storage unit and moved in his boy toy while I was out of town for work.
I got home expecting to see my man and sleep in my own bed but instead I came back to being dumped and homeless. My heart was broken and my life was in ruins.
I'd given him seven years and my heart. He'd thrown it away and crushed my life. When the boy left him destitute, he'd called me. I laughed in his face and hung up on him. Fuck you, Sean.
And still, a year later, I was alone and sad all the time. Delilah had allowed me to move in with her and she said I could stay, but I was cramping her lifestyle, I knew.
I was ready to be married forever and in love and committed and settled. I was twenty eight and successful enough to lead a good life. I just wanted to share it with someone. It's all I'd ever wanted.
As kids, I was the one who dreamt about my big wedding and my future with a husband and kids. Delilah wanted to be an astronaut, then a veterinarian and a firefighter. I wanted to be a dad and a partner.
Delilah was a paramedic. She was always the hero. She'd been my hero my whole life and now she was saving the citizens of San Francisco on a daily basis. She was trying to save me again. I really needed to save myself this time but I didn't know how.
I was the manager of a very large, busy and exclusive hair and nail salon to the rich and famous of the bay area. I'd worked in salons since I was sixteen and I went to college to get a business and marketing degree. This job was everything I wanted, professionally speaking.
I made enough money to live in a nice place on my own, but I never wanted to be alone. Maybe it was twin syndrome. I had shared a bed with Delilah until I was eleven. I had my own room, but I needed to be near her.
She was fine alone, but she indulged me and made herself available to me at any time I needed her. She was the best twin, friend and support person anyone could ask for.
As my life moldered in ruins I feared I was sucking her dry. Using up all her goodwill. Keeping her from her own life while I depended on her for everything. I hated it and it made me hate and miss Sean more.
I'd been trying to date for the last eight months. I'd met a string of idiots and jerks. The few nice guys I'd met had fallen through or given me the "it's me, not you" line. I was frustrated and lonely and horny.
"Earth to Dexter!"
"Sorry Dee, what were you saying?" I had been lost in my thoughts.
"I was saying you need to take a break from dating. Just go on Grindr and get laid already. You need it." I swear she could read my mind. She'd always been able to.
"You know that's not my style. I don't like hooking up with strangers. I'm a third date kind of guy." I smirked at her.
She slapped my shoulder and laughed at me. "Oh, I know! But maybe it's time to try something different. You're 'style' isn't working. It never has. You're such a hottie babe! Just get fucked already, like for a reset."
"Seriously Delilah? Just get fucked already? Really?"
"Yes, really! Jesus Dex, you could get so much ass if you wanted it. You're tall and good looking and packing heat in your designer jeans."
"Shut up!" I could help but laugh with her. "I don't know. I want to get laid, but I'm looking for love."
