My name is Ryan Reynolds and I am a lawyer. For the last 12 years I have worked for one of the most prestigious Law firms in New Your City; The Law Offices of Lohan, Lohan and McCallister. I started there just after my 30
th
birthday after a few years of independent contracting and meaningless legal work once I passed the bar exam. I have been married to my wife Lynn for almost 10 years and we have we two little girls, ages 4 and 6 and live in a bungalow in Queens. Lohan, Lohan and McCallister is a family run law firm that deals with all aspects of law, from criminal matters, to contractual, through tax and trade agreements. I work in the contractual law division dealing mostly with breech of contracts, building laws and regulations. Mr. Lohan the companies Chief Executive Officer (commonly referred to as the old man) comes in the office a few days a week for a few hours a day, usually has a liquid lunch and then leaves for the afternoon. The company is truly run by his daughter Meghan Lohan who is the Chief Operations Manager. The next in line is the Daily Operations Manager a squirmy little asshole named James McCallister. Each division has a Senior Partner who is in charge of several lawyers in their group (also known as the 5 wise men).
Recently my Senior Partner has decided to retire and there is an opening for his position. Only myself and another Lawyer named Tim Brewer have been working there the longest, and who have handled most of the big cases, would be the only ones to consider for the promotion. McCallister who would oversee the promotion has us both running ragged. Brewer and I are jumping through hoops, handling unusual sized caseloads, working long hours and finding ourselves in court way more than we should be. But the promotion would be a huge advancement, would almost double our salaries and give either of us the opportunity to head up our division.
Let me give you a brief background on McCallister. He is a 54-year-old, 5'5 inch tall, skinny German Irish loud mouth pipsqueak. He is married to one of the daughters of Schliman's deli - one of the biggest Deli franchisees - in New York. The family is rich and he lives the highlife on her money, not his. His hair is turning salt and pepper gray. He wears the most expensive suits, is overly vocal, annoying, has a Napoleon complex and acts like his shit doesn't stink. He presents himself as a bad ass, but probably couldn't beat his way out of a wet paper bag. He is vulgar, tells vile offensive jokes uncaring on who he offends and is all around asshole to most of his employee's. I admire him for his legal knowledge and success, but I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire. But he is my bosses' boss so every now and then I have to deal with him directly.
One Thursday afternoon...
I got called into McCallister's Office. I was hoping to hear him say "Congratulations Reynolds" you're our new senior partner; but instead, the day took an interesting turn. As I stood next to McCallister at his desk he said, "Reynolds, you've been working hard and I know you want this promotion. But Brewer's been working it to the bone too. I truly can't decide on either one of you. Have you ever heard the expression, you wash my back and I'll wash yours?"
"Yes sir." I replied.
"Well, what do you think you'd have to do for me to wash your back?" He bellowed out.
"I don't know sir." I replied. "I have been working here for more than a decade and have done everything this firm has asked me to do without question, so I'd like to think my work ethic, law knowledge, trial experience and values would stand alone." I replied.
"Reynolds, have you ever heard the expression it's not who you know, it's who you blow?" He asked.
"Yes sir, I have." I replied.
"Well then who ya' going to blow to get ahead?" He asked.