My eyes opened when I heard the sound of knocking at my door. I sat up; still tired from the lack of sleep I had last night. I spent so much time hoping that I could rewind the clocks and take the kiss back; take my actions away and have my brother back. Aiden was just so angry and I couldn't blame him. Now he was saying he wanted to talk and I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear what he'd have to say.
I opened the door and saw Aiden standing in the doorway. He had the same blank look on his face, but this time, he didn't have an iciness in his eyes; they were warm.
He looked at me and spoke, "Carter. We need to talk."
I let him in and braced myself for the worst, crying out "Aiden, I-"
He cut me off, insisting, "Carter, stop, let me go first." Hearing my silence, he continued, "Look last night, I-I just didn't know what to think of all of this. It was like a series of confessions hitting me over and over and I just stood there taking every blow. First, there was the kiss. That alone had my head spinning. Then followed the feelings- feelings that I still don't understand. Last, and probably one of the biggest reasons why I was upset, was the lie. I just couldn't take the fact that you kept your secret from me for however long. I mean we grew up telling ourselves everything, and I mean everything! Then last night, we opened up even more and I knew that I could fully trust you. Now, I can forgive you for your feelings because I know that you can't control who you fall for. And in some sense, I forgive you for the kiss. What hurts is knowing that you couldn't be honest with me and tell me the truth."
Knowing it was my turn, I looked up and replied, "Aiden. I'm sorry that I kept it from you for so long and I feel horrible that it hurt you that much. I never meant to hurt you and I just felt that keeping it to myself would be the best. But now I know that I was wrong. I needed to be honest with you. So I'm letting you that I'm apologizing for lying and only lying." I stood up and grabbed his wrists while I continued, "I'm not sorry for the kiss because I'm not regretting that it happened. I wanted it to happen. And although you may not agree, I felt something when I kissed you. You said yourself that people wait their entire lives to feel that something. Well, brother, I felt it last night. I felt something last night...with you." As I finished the last of my words, I felt as though a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I knew that no matter how Aiden responded, our relationship would forever be changed.
Aiden looked off as if still trying to digest everything I'd just said. He finally broke his concentration and talked to me, "Carter. This is just too much. I mean you're talking as if we're going to start this new life and you're just so sure about everything. Yet here I am still trying to figure all this out. I just can't do this. I-I..."
Knowing he was about spit out sentence after sentence, I grabbed his hand and held it in mine. "Aiden, stop. Stop trying to analyze all of this down to every refined detail. I know that you felt something too and that's why you came over to talk and didn't just leave without saying a word. Maybe part of the reason you're so worried is because you feel the same."
He shook his head, trying to let go of my hands, but I held on tighter. He pleaded, "Carter, it doesn't matter what I feel. This whole thing is wrong and you know it."
I quickly replied, holding onto his hands tighter, "Stop. Stop trying to second guess this." I then let go of his hand and placed mine on his chest. "I can feel your heart beating fast. You probably want this just as bad as I do. So stop over-thinking and just go with what feels right."
In the process of talking, I had moved closer into him that we were nearly nose to nose. I could feel him breathing harder than before. His eyes were trying to avoid mine, but once he finally looked at me, I saw something. He then leaned in and gave me as passionate kiss, laying his soft lips against mine. I grabbed the back of his head to pull him in closer, allowing our mouths act as one. I could feel a passion within him as he kissed me. I could see that he wanted to kiss me as badly as I wanted him. This kiss that we were sharing was already meaning more to me than last night's. Last night's kiss was me acting upon my urges; testing the waters with my brother and trying to let all of those inclinations out with a single touch. However, this kiss was more mutual; I could feel Aiden kissing back and I knew that this was something he really wanted.
I broke the kiss for a second and slowly ran my hands along his face, "Aiden, you don't know how long I've wanted to do this; how long I wanted to kiss you and feel you kissing back."
Aiden looked at me and responded, "Carter. I don't know how you can be so sure of this or how you can have your mind so set that I'm the one. But I know that this, this moment right now, feels right. And though I'm still hesitant, I'm willing to take a chance."
Holding him closely, I admitted, "That's all I can ask from you." He smiled back and then we went back to kissing. Not long after, I could feel things start to heat up. He was kissing me harder and I felt the urge to take this to the next level, if Aiden was willing to. Just as I started to run my hands along his torso, we were hit with a surprise.
The sound of the front door closing was like a snap back to reality. Then came a loud voice from below, "Boys, we're home! ...Aiden? ...Carter? ...Where are you guys?"We nearly jumped out of our skin when we heard our parents shuffling through the front door.
Aiden looked at me, with the most worried look on his face. "Shit!"
