It had just been a kiss and a grope in the underground garage of the American embassy in Brussels. I'd pulled away from him and told him that he'd misjudged—that I wouldn't report him that time, but that he'd misjudged me and he should stay well away from me from then on or I'd have to report him. I wouldn't report him, though, I didn't want there to be any spotlight on a junior consular affairs officer in his first overseas posting.
And Dieter Jouret hadn't misjudged me. When I opened my apartment door two nights later, after I'd had time for the momentary encounter with the golden hunk of a local embassy driver in the dark of the subterranean garage to play over and over again in my mind—extrapolating to the possibilities of it—I just stood there, dumbfounded and trembling. I put up no resistance when Dieter entered the apartment, shoved the door shut with his foot, picked me up in his arms, and carried me into the bedroom. I lay there on the bed, chest heaving in ragged breathing as he pulled my sweatpants and briefs off—I had been bare-chested—and knelt between them and worked my cock with his mouth and tongued my ass.
I had spread my legs for him myself, my heels digging into the edge of the foot of the bed, and my hands buried in the blond hair of his head—and moaned. God, how I'd moaned as his mouth worked my cock, balls, and asshole. I nearly lifted my butt off the bed and squeezed his skull as he swallowed my balls and sucked them while two fingers worked their way into my ass.
I'd said nothing, made no effort whatsoever to tell him to stop—to repeat that I wasn't like this and would report him.
I obviously
was
like this. I'd been like this all through my first year at college, letting a senior jock spike me after a night at a beer hall—and then his friends as he spread around that I could be had—stopping only when I woke up one morning in a fraternity house and realized that all of the brothers in the house who had wanted to had known me, in succession, throughout the previous night. I was frightened and disgusted not because they had done it—or even that I had allowed myself to get so drunk that I didn't prevent it—but because I had enjoyed it.
I had been shocked when one of the fraternity brothers said that this was what I'd been rushed by the house to do. To be the house punch. To take a train whenever the brothers felt so inclined—that my willingness to be fucked had been spread all over the campus. I'd packed up my stuff and left the house that day. And I transferred colleges my second year. My father had been miffed, as he'd been in that fraternity and in that college, but I could tell him why I'd left other than that I had found I didn't like fraternity life—and that college didn't have the major I wanted to pursue. The latter was true. I decided I wanted to go for foreign affairs—of the diplomatic kind. I wasn't looking for a French guy to spike me.
I swore off on sex with men after that and thanked God that the Foreign Service exam polygraph didn't include any lifestyle questions such as that.
I hyperventilated, with my own hand going to my cock, as Dieter stood up between my legs, stripped down to reveal a glorious, heavily muscled body, and a huge erection, and smiled down at me while he snapped the condom on the cock.
Thinking back on having sworn sex with men off, I thought that at least he wasn't French—but then I realized that I was beginning to hyperventilate and be a little crazy.
"Am I right? You've been fucked before?" Dieter asked, as he smoothed the condom out along his thick cock. "I know you want it now, but it makes a difference whether you've had experience."
"It's been a long time . . . but, yes."
He came down on top of me between my spread legs, took my head between his hands, and possessed my mouth with his to cover my groans as he worked his cock inside me. He was big; bigger than most I had taken. When he was saddled, he released my mouth and looked down into my face, smiling, as I arched my back and started to pant in answer to his beginning a slow pump.
"It's OK? It's good for you?" he asked as he, at first, gently pressed in and pulled out.
"It will be good," I answered with a whimper. He hurt like hell now, but memories were coming back. He was as thick as anyone I remembered at college. And I couldn't deny that I had become addicted to the cock there before determination pulled me away from it.
"It's good, then," he murmured. "I'll fuck you good."
He took me the first time in long, slow strokes, holding me close, whispering to me, as I lost the battle of not acknowledging his right of victory and started moving my pelvis with him and rubbing my heels on the backs of his thighs.
The second time was rougher, demanding more of my cooperation and involvement, as he put me on all fours, crouched over me, and fucked me doggy style.
Later, as we were finishing up a beer and a snack at the breakfast table, I gave up all—answering his demand and gesture by standing and coming to where he sat, lowering myself in his lap, as he encircled my torso with his arms, and fucking myself on his staff.
"Do you have any fantasies?" he asked me in a murmur as I was rising and falling on his cock, and my thoughts went back six years, to my first year in college, and I leaned over and whispered in his ear, not being able to voice it aloud.
The next Saturday Dieter was driving me to Amsterdam. I knew I was being rushed, but he'd opened a door for me that had been closed for six years and that I hadn't realized haunted me as much as it did. And when he'd told me what he was offering, I hadn't hesitated to tell him I was interested.
The club was entered through a half-basement door in an alley off Reguliersdwarsstraat. The cobbled-stoned street we walked down, with glassed cube projecting out of the buildings with scantily clad men in them, hawking themselves, left little question what section of the city we were in. Some of the men were young, some black or Asian, some hairy, some dressed in leather. A sign in the alley saying "Satyr's Gehölz"—"satyr" being self-explanatory and "Gehölz" meaning "grove"—was blinking on and off in red neon lights over the door. We were met at the door by something as close to a satyr as possible with a man—bare-chested, the chest sprinkled with gold dust; hairy, animal-skin pants rising low enough to show a fringe of pubic hair and open at the crotch, although the doorkeeper had a codpiece covering his genitals; black ballet slippers giving the hint of cloven feet; a goatee; and devil's horns on the head.
The wait staff in the main room was dressed the same, but without the codpiece. Four of the entertainers on the stage that was sunk at the far end of the long, narrow room, descending in tiers with banquet tables on them, also were costumed as satyrs. The fifth entertainer, a young blond man, bound to an X cross and being lightly switched by the other four, was simply naked—and beautifully formed.
Besides the cross bar and two lounge beds on the stage, there were the skeletons of two trees in the background with neon-colored cylinders hanging from their branches instead of leaves. I had no idea what they were until, as we stood at the bar, and Dieter encouraged me to drink a head-spinning drink, the young man on stage had been released from the X cross and been laid on one of the lounge beds. His ass was turned toward the audience, his legs spread and bent, his feet on the edge of the lounge bed. Two satyrs, one crouched on either side of him, were spreading his ass cheeks, revealing that his channel was gaping over—capable of accommodating more than one of the satyrs at the same time.
Dieter leaned over toward me and whispered, "Yes, it as you imagine. Does it arouse you?"