Everyone in the small village of Elu knew him as Johnbull the soldier. There had even been a rumour that he fled the nation's civil war... At the very least, no one knew for sure, where he had come from. But the huge man, who had arrived in a soldier's outfit with no gun in late 1970, had remained trending among the village's gossip hot topics ever since
Some said he had a wife in Lagos; Others said he was after the village's young maidens. Others disproved that; after all, soldier Johnbull was even more charming with their husbands and fathers.
But if there was one thing that the villagers of Elu did know for sure : it was impossible to lie to Johnbull.
Was it the time that Ma Ann, the retired principal, was sure one of her shop assistants was stealing from her?
Good Ol' Johnbull had calmed Ma Ann down -- who had been shouting like the world was ending -- and having spoken to the three assistants, he quickly caught the inconsistencies of the only male among them; a twenty something year old lively chap who was too focused on seducing the former soldier, than keeping up with his own lie.
Johnbull had apologised on the young man's behalf and even paid back the money stolen. In gratitude, the young man had cleaned Johnbull's apartment and warmed his bed. I guess you can say that everyone was satisfied.
In fact, everyone was so satisfied, that they began seeking Johnbull's input on everything. So, you can say it was really no surprise when the notorious Chief Amadi showed up at Johnbull's apartment one morning.
The old Chief had been a distinguished wrestler in his youth, and had since become one of most powerful and revered kingmakers having retired.
Johnbull offered the Chief some kolanut which were declined; leaving our renowned soldier wondering if the khaki trousers and singlet he had on, were offensive to the Chief's person.
After offering to get the chief drinks, more food... and getting the same polite rejection. Johnbull realised that whatever had brought the titled man to his house must have been serious.
Chief Amadi, still slightly muscled, took off his red cap and exhaled.
At the sight of the graying hair, Johnbull felt lustful stirrings in his loins. But he disciplined himself. The Chief was old enough to be his father, he reasoned.
After finally reneging and blessing the Kolanut, Chief Amadi finally explained his impromptu visit. "My second wife is sleeping around... Nneka," he added on seeing confusion on Johnbull's face.
Johnbull nodded, slightly surprised that Nneka, the Palm wine tapper's beautiful daughter, had accepted to become the Chief's second wife.
"So here's what I want you to do... Since it seems that you can discern honesty; you're going to confront her while I hide." The Chief was becoming animated now. "Once you get her to confess, I'll then jump out and disgrace her!!" He clapped his hands to emphasise his point.
"Yes, I see," Johnbull said, tugging his stubby chin. Now there were certain things that Johnbull never ever talked about... One of such things was his ability to sense dishonesty. If he were to explain it, he would compare it to hearing a wrongly placed note or reading a grammatical error -- that eerie feeling you get when you sense a mistake. And Johnbull was sensing a whole lot of error in the Chief's story.
"Why don't you talk to Nneka first," Johnbull suggested.
The Chief looked Johnbull over like he was crazy. "So she would deny it?" The Chief was getting irritated. "If you cannot do the job, just say so!"
Yet, that innate feeling of dishonesty grew even stronger. Johnbull exhaled and moved to the settee the Chief was on. "Marriage should require trust from all parties for it to work." Johnbull lowered his voice, "Why don't you trust your wife?"
The Chief began to squirm.
"This is a safe space," Johnbull assured. "Nothing you say leaves this place."
"Do you think I am too old for Nneka?"
Johnbull did not know how to answer that question...
Seeing the hesitation, the Chief sprang up. "This was a mistake. I should leave."
"No, no... It's not that... I believe that adults should be free to marry whomever they want... I see no issue with a marriage between adults," Johnbull stated definitely.
The Chief smirked, slightly amused. "Not even when one of them is basically old cargo."
The blatant self degradation dismissed the formality in Johnbull's approach. "You sir, are one of the sexiest men in Elu. Don't ever sell yourself short! Am I clear!?"
Remembering himself, Johnbull quickly apologised.
The Chief was now clearly amused, excited even. "There's nothing to be sorry for. You spoke well. It's just that when you are at my age, things don't work as well as before, such as... You know."
It took a few seconds before it registered on Johnbull that the Chief was eyeing his rather defiant erection. Johnbull quickly apologised for his indecency and tried to leave the settee, but the Chief held on to him. "We are both men here... There's nothing to it."
The Chief reached over and began massaging Johnbull's erection. "So sturdy," the Chief said dreamily. "I have been trying different formulas and combinations, but nothing seems to please Nneka these days..."
