Russ and Adri were best friends. Of course, they'd act a little gay with each other. Russ had known him since freshman year of college, and ever since, they'd been inseparable.
He wasn't sure when the joke first started. It happened naturally; one day, they were goofing around, and the next, they were suddenly promising to marry one other (jokingly) and Russ was promising he'd be the bottom (again, just joking.) Soon, they'd pretend to make out at lunch, and then, they were dry humping each other on a dirty bar floor -- for humorous value, of course.
While Russ worked on his cars, Adri often slapped his ass from behind and made lewd comments about it. Today was no different. He was elbow deep in a BMW's catalytic converter when the taller basketball prodigy swooped in from behind, and next thing he knew, Adri's hand was grasping his rear.
"Damn," said Adri. "Your ass looks hot as fuck in those pants."
Russ twisted the wrench with his free hand and swatted his friend away with the other. "Yeah, yeah, just fuck me already." Ironically, obviously. He didn't actually mean it.
"I will," Adri promised. "Are you off work yet?"
Russ barely glanced at his wristwatch as he detangled himself from the converter. "I've been off since five," he realized.
Gay Chicken began anew as Adri grabbed his hips in a basketball player's clutch; enveloping them with a ridiculously wide grip. "Great," he said with a grin. "Come make out with me, then."
"Only if you're buying dinner," Russ returned, and he swiveled around, jokingly rubbing his taller friend's nipples. "I'll let you put it in my ass if you do."
"Okay," Adri wholeheartedly agreed. They both knew he wouldn't, though, because it was just a joke.
They departed from the mechanic shop and picked up a few beers along the way. They climbed the steps to their modest apartment, kicking last week's trash into the bin, and then finally flopped down on the couch; a string of fairy lights was jostled by the movement, dousing them in pink-red light as they settled comfortably.
"Dude, come cuddle with me," Adri said whist staring at Russ like he'd grown four heads.
"What, are you gay or something?" Russ grumbled; but he wormed over regardless, settling his head in his lap.
Adri grabbed the remote and flipped on the TV to a mindless show. "Want a beer?" He offered. Staring down, his warm eyes glinted from a funny angle to where Russ lay.
Russ grinned back. "That's like asking if I wanna suck you off. Of course, dumbass."
"Suck me off, then." Adri fake groaned as he pushed his hips; Russ had to sit up to allow him past. "Chicken."
The entire six pack ended up at their feet. Russ cracked one, Adri cracked the other, and they drank modest amounts; before they knew it, their cans were empty. Adri shot them both towards the trash can and made it in.
"I wish you'd spit in my mouth with that aim," Russ told him.
Adri's eyes lit like a charm. "I bet I can."
He hawked up; Russ shot back down the couch. "Hell no," he warned. "I'll have you sign the divorce papers."
"I'll have you sigh on this cock," Adri returned. Warm, tipsy mirth had him clamoring over to him. With both arms on either side, he stared Russ down, hovering an inch above his body.
"You gonna fuck me then?" Russ instantly put his legs around his hips. "Come on, I've been a bad boy."
This was maybe a touch too gay for them. Adri promptly struck the side of his face: "Get off, homo."
"Says you," Russ spluttered, as he jammed his feet into his friend's ribcage, and that was that. They sat back on their own sides of the couch and unanimously decided to watch TV instead.
It took about five minutes for Adri to scoot over and put his arm around Russ's shoulders. The mechanic leaned into it; not that he'd admit it, but the warmth, the sense of being held; it was comforting. He cuddled deeper into his friend's side as Adri opened another beer in one hand, then passed it to him.
"Are we trying to get drunk tonight?" Russ grunted. A genuine question.
"Two beers is mild," Adri scoffed. "You can't get drunk off these."
"Speak for yourself, Goliath." Russ grimaced as he smacked the beer back. "God, Coors tastes like shit. Why didn't we get Corona?"
"Same reason we do it doggy instead of missionary," Adri retorted; his free hand slunk to grip his thigh, and Russ shivered. "It works better."
"Not gonna lie, that made me a little hard." Russ glanced down at his crotch.
Adri's hand slipped lower. "I wanna feel it."
"Go ahead." Russ sat back.
He didn't. Adri ended up taking another swig of beer instead. As he drank, though, he eyed his shorter friend down; studying his curl pattern, noting how his arms were crossed over his lap.
"Dude," Adri decided. "Let me suck that fat cock, already."
"I've been telling you to," Russ retorted, half mindlessly as he watched TV. "You're just too chicken."
"No, you are." Adri bit his lip as he cuddled closer.
"Dude-" Russ swiveled. In one fluid motion, he'd swung his leg over Adri's lap, both hands on his shoulders as he demanded, "Fuck me, already. I told you I want you to fuck me."