The story is essentially true. The author welcomes comments.
You might say I went straight from high school to a gay nightclub.
The key word there is "straight."
At least that's what I thought.
When I was in high school in South Carolina, I played the guitar in what you would probably call a boy band. It was a bunch of us from school -- all reed-thin except for our portly drummer -- all of us with long hair and androgynous features, just like the big-time rock bands.
None of us, unfortunately, with much talent.
After high school, the band dissolved, and we were probably the only ones who noticed. We all went our separate ways. For me, that meant college in upstate New York, which I have to tell you was quite a departure, weather-wise, from what I'm used to in South Carolina. I love my folks dearly, but I felt like if I didn't get out of that small town, I would burst. The college had a good music and theater program, and was about a four-hour ride from New York City. That's where I wanted to perform someday when I got good enough at the guitar.
I didn't see any reason why I couldn't be a star someday. I was voted "best-looking boy" in my high school senior class, and even though there were only about 50 boys graduating that year, I still got my picture in the yearbook under "Best Looking." I'm about 5-foot-8, very thin, and I haven't cut my straight, blond hair since junior high. I usually wear it in a pony tail, and it goes down past my shoulder blades.
Other than my lack of great talent, there is one other thing that could hold me back.
My name. It's Wendell.
Granddad was a big Wendell Wilkie supporter in the '40s, so he named my dad, Wendell. Dad somehow thought it would be a great idea to name me after him, so I became Wendell Jr. It wasn't so bad growing up, because everyone in town knew me as "Junior." But going off to college with a name like Wendell was tough.
Once I got to college, I looked around for a part-time job to help make ends meet. It wasn't easy, because all I know is music. I looked all over, but the only place hiring was McDonald's. Nothing against flipping burgers, but it wasn't my dream job.
Then I noticed a small classified ad in the local newspaper for a disc jockey to play music each weekend at a local club. It seemed perfect. If there was one thing I knew a lot about, I thought, it was music. I called the phone number in the ad, and someone with a gruff voice told me to come by that afternoon and gave me directions. It was a good thing, too, because I never would have found the place. It was about 25 minutes from my campus, out in the middle of nowhere, a lone, large building off a hilly country road. As I parked my car in the spacious lot, I wondered what kind of business the club could be doing at such an out-of-the-way location.
The door was open, and I was pleasantly surprised when I walked in. There was a hallway with large photo portraits of movie and music stars like Judy Garland, Barbra Streisand and Madonna. I peeked into the ballroom. It was quite large, and I could see that it had modern lighting and an expensive sound system. Off to one side was the DJ's station with what looked like an impressive collection of CDs and a microphone. Not far from there was a spacious bar with lots of glasses hanging up in front of big mirrors.
Down the hall from the ballroom entrance was a heavy door with a sign reading, "Private." I knocked, and soon I heard footsteps. The door opened, and I was greeted by a tall, heavyset man who very well may have had the saddest face I'd ever seen. It was hard to tell how old he was, but he looked at least 60. (I was later to learn he was 62.) He was bald on top, with brown-gray hair on the sides. He had combed a few long hairs over his bald area in a vain attempt to cover up his baldness. He had three or four jowly lines that ran from his plump cheekbones to his double and triple chins. He was dressed nicely, though, with expensive slacks and a golf shirt under a button-up sweater.
He looked at me a bit disapprovingly.
"You're ...?"
"Wendell," I said. "We talked on the phone about a job?"
"Right, kid," he said. "C'mon in."
I was led into a well-furnished living room in what was obviously his apartment. He told me his name was Les Blanchard, and he was the owner.
"So," he said. "you're a DJ, huh? How old are you, kid?"
I told him I would be 19 in a couple of months, and he asked me about the music young people liked nowadays and what I thought of it. I told him I liked most of it. He said he liked Sinatra, Tony Bennett, '50s music and songs with words you could understand, but that "the young folks today, they like to listen to crap, so that's what we give them while they dance and work up a thirst" to buy drinks at the bar.
The pay wasn't great, but he said if I did the job well, I'd get lots of tips. I would work from about 6 p.m. until the place closed at 2 a.m. every Friday and Saturday night. He noticed what he called my Southern accent (actually, I don't have an accent -- everybody up North just talks funny), asked about my background and told me he needed a DJ right away because the last one had gotten a job out of town and quit without giving notice.
"If you can start this Friday night, kid, the job is yours until you screw up, OK?"
I told him I wouldn't screw up, and thanked him for the opportunity. I asked him how I should dress, and he advised me that the less I wore, the better my tips would be.
I looked at him with what must have been a puzzled expression.
He smiled for the first time.
"Kid," he said, "you do know this is a gay club, don't you?"
I felt my face start to get very red.
"Uh ... gay? Oh ... sure. Sure, I knew. I ... I guess I'll see you Friday night. Bye."
I walked quickly out to my car. I had no idea it was a gay club, but I guess it made sense.
On the drive back to the college, I wondered what it would be like to work in a gay club. I have nothing against gay people. With my long hair and slim build, I'd been hit on several times by gay guys when the band had a gig. They were all pretty nice, understanding when I told them I was straight. A couple of them had said what a waste it was, telling me how pretty I am.
When I got back to the freshman dorm, my roommate was out, probably with the girlfriend he brought with him from his Long Island high school. With my door locked, I removed my shirt and took off the rubber band holding my hair in a pony tail. My hair cascaded over my bare shoulders as I looked at myself in the mirror and wondered if any gay men would be hitting on me while I worked at the club. My features were almost feminine, with soft, but toned, arms, no chest hair, and, as I stood in profile, a pronounced concave from my rib cage to my very thin waist. If you had seen me from behind, with my long, blond hair and curvy figure, you'd have assumed I was a shapely, pretty girl.
"I'd better stop," I said to myself with a rueful smile. "I'm starting to turn myself on."
I showed up at the club early Friday night. I decided to wear khaki pants and a plain, white T-shirt. My first night really was a lot of fun. For one thing, the place was mobbed by 8 p.m. Obviously, this was the kind of club that didn't need to advertise. Every gay person for miles around must know about it. There were all kinds of people there. Gays, lesbians, even some straights. Nobody hit on me, although a few men in their 20s or 30s tried to make eye contact with me. The tips weren't great, but not bad. People would come over and put dollar bills in a big glass in front of me, particularly if they had a specific music request. As the music played over the gyrating throng on the dance floor, I started to get into it and did a little gyrating myself. Les tended bar with two bartenders, Derek, in his 50s, and Don, in his late 30s. I found out later that they were lovers and lived together.
After we closed at 2 a.m., Les retired to his apartment to count the receipts while Derek, Don and I picked the place up a bit. The main cleaning crew, I was told, would be in the next afternoon to get the room ready for Saturday night. I was back that night and every weekend for several weeks. I got to know Derek and Don a little bit, talking to them as we cleaned up and walked out to the otherwise-deserted parking lot. Derek, I learned, had worked for Les a long time.
"I helped him move into this place 13 years ago." Derek said one night. "It was about a year after his wife died. Car accident. She was a lot younger than he was. I never knew her, but my, how he must have loved that woman. The second bedroom in his apartment is filled with all her stuff -- dresses, shoes, pictures, everything. He doesn't ever talk about her, but he's never gotten over her. I haven't been in that room since I helped him move in, but I saw her picture, and she was a pretty woman, very trim and tall. Les wasn't a bad-looking guy back then, either, when he had some hair and was much thinner than he is now."
As the weeks went on, I got to be more and more comfortable working at the club. It was a nice change from my classes at the university, and I got to know a lot of the regular customers. My tips got a lot better because they seemed to like me, and also, I think, because I started dressing differently. My normal outfit was a cut-off sweatshirt that revealed my midriff from my ribs to my cut-off shorts that I wore low on my hips. The top of my sweatshirt was cut widely enough to bare one of my shoulders as I bopped around to the music. After an hour or two, I'd usually really get into it and let my hair out of the pony tail to bounce around on my shoulders.
Men were making eye contact with me all the time now, and I would usually smile and hold their gaze for a few seconds before turning away shyly. OK, so maybe I was flirting with them just a little to get them to put money in my tips glass. Sometimes, Les would look over at me from the bar, holding up a Pepsi for me to come over and take with me. When he caught my eye, I sometimes found myself pushing my bare shoulder forward and smiling gratefully at him. This flirting thing was new to me, and maybe I was subconsciously doing it to the old man. Anyway, his sad face never indicated that he thought I was flirting, which was a good thing, because if I didn't find all the young, muscular men on the dance floor attractive, I certainly wasn't going to have my first gay experience with my elderly, portly boss.
I got pretty friendly with two lesbians who frequented the club. Beth was what you would call your classic bull dyke. She was about 5-foot-6, very short hair, round-faced, heavy, and always wore a black motorcycle jacket. Her girlfriend, Amanda, was one of the most beautiful and feminine women I have ever seen. Tall, with a regal neck and beautiful figure, her long, straight brown hair fell softly around her trim shoulders. She had the sweet face of an angel and a personality to match.
Beth was very possessive of Amanda, always with her arm around her. They made an incongruous pair. One night when Beth went to the bathroom, I just had to ask Amanda what the attraction was. Amanda's beautiful green eyes sparkled.
