Every night before I would fall sleep, I would gently stroke myself up and down. I would go faster and faster, closing my eyes and dreaming of my perfect fantasy. It was always the same fantasy. It would always end with me shooting my warm load all over my hairy belly.
I would push a small toy in and out of my tight ass. I would do my best to hit my special spot. It wouldn't always work at first. I would add a little bit of lube and would take a few tries. I would close my eyes and open my legs wide. I would dream of him pushing slowly inside me. The toy felt pretty good but I wanted the real thing.
I would push the toy inside me, and pretend he would be here with me. He would be holding his long hard cock in place getting ready for me. He would put a little lube on his tip, and I would open my legs wide. He would gently pinch my nipples as I would squat down on his lubed up cock.
I had been with some guys before, but none of them really knew what they were doing. I was always too tight for them. Usually it would be more painful than anything else. Sometimes they were too big, too wide, or too long. But he would be different. He would be the perfect size for me. He would be patient and caring.
I would dream about his big manly body underneath me. He would have just bit of hair on his big thick chest. Everything else would be clean shaven. Well, except the five o'clock shadow on his rugged manly face.
He would probably work in construction or something where he uses his hands. He understands I'm new to this. He understands he can't just shove in me like those guys before him did. He's so compassionate. He understands it takes a few tries. He understands we need to have chemistry to make it work.
We would hold hands and go for an hour long walk in the forest. We would find a spot where we could be alone. It would just the two of us having a beer by the small river. The only noise we would hear is the occasional animal nervously darting around the forest. Nobody would judge us. Only the trees and the wind could share our secret.
Why am I still so nervous that someone will see us? I've always been hiding from who I really am but this feels so right.
We would stop walking and share a small picnic together behind his small country home. He would lean forward and smile at me. His hand would wrap around my sweaty neck. It's the first time we kiss each other in public. Well, it's not really public but it's outside and kind of feels like it. He would pin me hard against the big maple tree near his house. He would kiss me again. This time he would use much more tongue. I would feel us getting hard against each other's nervous bodies.
Now, I'm not even sure if this is real or fake. I wonder if I'm still dreaming.
He didn't care about impressing anyone, and neither did I. His friends and family know that he's gay. I wish I could tell my family what I'm really about. Sadly, they are homophobic and un-accepting. I wish I could bring him home and show him off. It's not that he's a supermodel or anything like that. I just like him because he's nice guy with a great job, and he treats me so well. He knows how sometimes I struggle financially. He knows how hard it is for a single dad to raise a family alone. At first I didn't let him pay for anything. Now, I don't ask him but he always offers. He knows I'm much relaxed when I'm not worried about paying the bills.
I could tell the first time we met at the bar that I liked him. I hardly ever went to the gay village. When I would go to the gay bar, I would usually sit far away and try not to be seen. I was always hesitant to go. It was probably because I really didn't know what I was looking for. It all changed last December on that very cold Montreal night. He saw me sitting alone, and bought me a beer.
