Gay Lovin' Gone Bad

I have always been turned on by the lash or whip. Even when I was a teenager I wasn't so repelled by the idea of slavery merely because the whip was often used. Of course, slavery is bad. I knew there was an occasions when two or more consenting adults got together and used a whip. I just did not know when. I grew older and became aware of such occasions through stories and later the internet.

None of my girlfriends ever liked the idea of S&M and I never had the nerve to ask them. I just knew. I liked the idea of being spanked, belted or whipped. Corporal punishment wasn't used by my parents or school but I had a feeling I'd enjoy the experience since I would frequently masturbate with the thought.

When I was married, I saw an ad in the adult section of the local alternative paper. A dominatrix sold her services for very little in exchange for the desire to inflict pain on men. She got off on the act. I got in touch with her but did not have the nerve to go through with the meeting.

Two years after my divorce was finalized, I came across an ad on the local buy and trade website. A man had posted the ad as a dominant, older male seeking younger submissive male to punish. That is all I remember seeing before I impulsively replied. I hadn't really given preference to a male or female whip holder. That never mattered except I was always restrained and never fought my captor in my fantasies.

Never in my life have I been attracted to a person of the same sex. To this day I am not attracted to men.

Before I could give this much more thought, A response showed up in my email box.

Richard was an older man, all right. Nearly twice my age, in fact. I am 35. He asked the usual questions about my stats and interests and just as I was sure he'd lose interest, he asked to meet me at his house. This was a bit scary for me but he assured me we would not engage in anything sexual. Instead, we'd just talk and learn to be comfortable with each other. He knew I only wanted to be whipped and that was just fine with him. I wondered what was in this for him. For a long time I wasn't sure.

After weeks of planning, I finally got the nerve to show up at his house. I prefered a hotel or some place public but he let me know I was being silly. There was nothing about this man which made me think he wasn't being honest. He had nothing to hide.

We met on his porch and enjoyed a lemonade and the view of the lake. We talked for several hours and then he showed me where I'd be punished - if I chose to go through with it. We walked into his den which faced a steep hillside against his back yard. I knew our privacy was assured. Richard had an ordinary looking office - neatly organized with years of little treasures and books accumulated like a man over 70 might have. He showed me the hooks in the ceiling and a file box full of bondage equipment. Many men had stood right where I was listening to him. Richard originally claimed to be bi-sexual but it became obvious he hadn't been in a male-female relationship in decades.He was most definitely a gay gentleman.

Nearly a month later - along with many emails - We agreed on a date for my first punishment session.

I was to strip to my underwear and be whipped. Then I'd get my clothes on and leave. That was it. If I did not enjoy being whipped, I could say so and the session would end. Fair enough.

The evening arrived and I rang his doorbell. Richard greeted me all the while carefully reading my expressions. He knew I was nervous. He guided me to the den and I undressed in front of him. I even removed my watch and necklace. What in the hell was I doing?

Richard explained everything as he proceeded. He fitted a blindfold over my eyes and fastened wrist cuffs to my arms. He stood on a stool and raised my arms up to the hooks in the beam. I could not see a thing but was acutely aware of his actions. I knew he was rummaging through a box but once that noise ended there was only one more noise I'd hear -and feel: The sting of a whip. Actually, it was a leather strap.

Snap! Snap! Snap!

Richard whipped me for about a half hour - sometimes softly, other times very hard.

My briefs remained in place except halfway through the ordeal Richard reached inside and felt my semi-erect cock. He just rubbed the tip and whispered something in approval of my sure sign of arousal: pre-cum.

Once we were through I took a shower, dressed and left.

My body was stinging as though I had a bad sunburn. I was nearly a mile away on my drive home and a rush of arousal hit me and my cock came to life. I barely made it through the door and into the bathroom before I came like crazy.

A month had gone by and we were scheduled to meet again. This time I told him about masturbating after the first session and he gave me the option of doing it while at his house afterward. I agreed I'd be interested - except he told me the bathroom was off-limits. I'd have to do it in front of him. Yikes! No man had ever seen this. Jerking off was something even my girlfriends or wife never saw me do.

"If you're going to submit, you must do it completely," he said.

"No secrets."

This time, I was not allowed to wear briefs. We went through the same routine and soon enough the whipping began. Now he held my cock like a handle as he turned me around or held me in place.

WHAP, WHAP, WHAP... for a long time I was nearly bloodied by the whip.

Then Richard set down the whip and took my cock in his mouth. Within a minute I came as hard as the end of the first session.

I was both super aroused and mortified. No man had ever sucked me dry like that.

Instead of leaving right away, Richard soothed my skin with a salve and then I got dressed. We talked for a couple hours about many topics. He was impressed by my knowledge and I enjoyed hearing about his many adventures in life.

Three months went by and our letters began to drop off in frequency. Much of my writing was in a journal. Most of my fantasies were centered around Richard and our experience. I had only dated sporatically in the months since my sessions began but when I'd write of these women, Richard's tone would change a little as though he disapproved. I think he was jealous. About the time I thought he'd never write again I asked if I could come over for a session. He delighted at this thought and even more so when I told him of my journal. He asked me to bring it and read to him.

I started reading the journal and soon realized the words were for no one else to see - not even Richard. The writing was revealing. It was homo-erotic in nature and was usually written just before I'd drop my pants.

So I blocked out a few paragraphs and brought the spiral notebook on my visit to see him. Right away I was to sit at Richard's feet on the floor and begin reading to him. My face was red-hot with embarassment as I made it through several pages. I felt his fingers unbutton my shirt and put a leather collar around my neck. "Continue reading," he said as I paused for a moment.

Ten minutes later, Richard was privvy to my darkest desires. Words I would never have told or even written him in letters.

Richard's index finger reached through the D-ring on my collar and pulled just a little.

"Boy..Do you mind if I refer to you as 'boy' in our sessions?"

"That would be fine," I replied.

Good.

"Boy, on your feet."

In addition to the collar, he put leather straps around my ankles and then held out a pair of handcuffs. Instinctively. I brought my wrists together and he clicked them into place.

There is a vulnerable feeling to have a collar around your neck and to be wearing handcuffs. But it's a great feeling as my trust level allowed me to enjoy the whole experience.

"Follow me." he insisted.

We walked to Richard's den and he helped remove my pants.The blindfold went over my eyes and soon my punishment began.

I sort of lost track of time but noticed the intensity had increased which made me think something had changed. Richard's whip really began to sting - especially when he whipped the same place repeatedly. I was becoming vocal as I breathed heavily and curse words poured out.

"What did you edit from your journal," Richard whispered.

I gathered my thoughts and delayed my response.

WHAP, WHAP, WHAP!

"It was sexual. It had to do with you," I replied.

WHAP!

"Good. What about me?"

I paused for a moment.

WHAP!

"Ouch! It had to do with me submitting completely - as a sign of deference."

Richard did not press me anymore. In fact, he set down his whip after a couple minutes and removed me from the hooks in the ceiling.

He led me two steps forward and made me stand still. He slid something in front of me and then guided me to my knees. I was bent over a large ottoman and told to wait.

Oh, shit.

Richard felt through the box of toys and settled on something and a tube of lube. I still wore the blindfold but could hear the distinct sound of the cap and gasp of the goop.

"Relax, boy. Just relax your mind and body," he said quietly.

Richard soothed my butt cheeks and I felt the inevitable penetration by his greased fingers. First one finger and then the second or third - twisting and turning as if to make sure the coast was clear.

This was submission. If I was to be there under the whip, anything could happen and I knew this. He was in control and now was the time to let him know. All I had to do was relax.

I clutched the edge of the ottoman as Richard slowly descended a dildo inside my anus. There was a dull ache which seemed to go away after a minute or two.

"Very good," he said. "You've taken the entire length."

My breathing was fairly heavy and a bead of sweat had found its way off the tip of my nose. I flexed and heaved a little as Richard increased the pace. I noticed his breathing was becoming a bit labored but then he stopped.

A fleeting ache occurred as he gently pulled the dildo out. I stared into the expanse of darkness and waited for the next degradation. The classical music played quietly as I heard Richard exhale. He leaned over me and unlocked the handcuffs from my wrists.

I was unsure of what he was up to until once again, an object was placed against my anus and slowly pressed inside. I thought it was another dildo but the moment both of Richard's hands held my waist - I knew.

For the first time I was being penetrated by another man. Richard's cock was all the way in when I made this realization. I could feel his heavy sack between my cheeks as he seemed to stop and rest inside me.

"You're doing great, boy." he whispered in my ear.

I gave no response.

A minute went by as we both sat motionless. It was plenty of time for me to process exactly what was going on.

"Do you trust me?" Richard asked.

Without hesitation I answered, "I do."

As if the magic word had been found, Richard began pumping slowly in and out of me. I sort of wondered why he asked if I trusted him until the reason was obvious: He was not wearing a condom.

I rocked back and forth as he picked up the pace. His breathing was heavy and there was no turning back for either one of us.

BAM, BAM, BAM, Richard was obviously reaching a climax at my expense. He shimmied and shook before coming to a rest. My entire body was sweaty and so was his.

Another couple minutes went by before Richard slowly pulled out.

Part of me felt like a victim but mostly I felt I'd submitted completely and being used was the hefty price I paid.

Richard pulled on the back of my collar and straightened me up. Still on my knees he manipulated me to laying flat on my back on the floor. He assumed I was still aroused and proceeded to grip my cock and masturbate me into an orgasm. Streams of semen streaked across my chest and chin as I arched my back.

I relaxed as my spent body laid there on the den carpet. Richard had stood up and left the room but I remained in the dark.

When he returned Richard grappled my flaccid cock and baggy balls and proceeded to fit a device onto me. I did not fight anything. We had talked about this in one of our correspondence but in the context of fantasy. Now, Richard had a chastity device locked in place. I was incapable of an erection or sex or climax. Richard tugged on it to make sure I wasn't pinched or capable of escape.

"Hmm.." he hummed in approval.

"Boy, you are to wear this indefinitely until I know you're loyal. You will be here every Wednesday at six PM for training, punishment and release. You can be here more often if you choose but once a week at least. I know you're straight but as long as I am your Dom, there will be no others. I will satisfy you sexually and intellectually."

I nodded and then he took of my blindfold. I was laying on my back in a classic submissive position.

I was unsure of where our relationship was going. I just wanted to run at that point. But three days later I was about ready to fuck a hole in the floor. There was a permanent bulge in my pants from the device and it served to remind me I was owned in some capacity.

For the next six months I was punctual to our weekly sessions. Richard had removed the chastity device as though releasing a wild animal yet sure of its return. And I did return. We started to meet in public - once to buy a whip together but mostly as friends usually do.

Still, I never considered myself gay or even bisexual even though I was in a relationship with another male. A sexual relationship.

Spring was in the air and one morning I met a beautiful latina woman at my coffee shop. I saw her there nearly everyday and we began dating each other. I hadn't been so excited to be with a woman in a long time. We fell in love with one another and I could not keep my Wednesday nights a secret from her any longer. Instead of tell her about Richard, I decided to end the Wednesday night adventures.I was ready to be in a normal relationship with someone I loved.

I had to break the news to Richard. He did not take it well. At first he assumed I would break up with Mari. Then he insisted I tell her about 'us.'

No.

Richard paced the room and I could tell he was going to snap at my defiance.

"Take your clothes off!" he barked.

I did not answer. Instead, I began a walk to the door. Surprisingly, Richard blocked my path.

"Get on your knees, boy. That is a command!"

I stopped and we stared at each other for a few seconds before I began to bend and was on my knees before him.

I stared at his belt buckle until he was sure I was there to stay. Then he moved from the door and grabbed a pair of handcuffs from the credenza.

I could have ran. I could have beat the crap out of him if I'd chosen that path. But I did not.

He combined my wrists and I felt the handcuffs click my arms together behind me. Without warning Richard kneed me in the shoulder and I fell to my side. He wrestled my pants and underwear off as assurance I would not run away.

"Get up," he ordered.

This time I remained on my back and he did not bother repeating himself. He grabbed my feet and dragged me down the hall and into his den.

"You're going to be punished like you've never been punished before."

I stood up and accomodated Richard in fastening my arms over my head. The entire time I wondered why I did not put up a fight or run for it. Like a horror movie, my mind could not direct my able body to go anywhere.

I realized this was going to be real punishment and I wanted deeply to feel the offense in order to have a real reason to leave once and for all. Or decide to love it and stay.

I was whipped from my ankles to the nape of my neck. Never before had Richard whipped me in anger. But now I realized I was in an abusive relationship. From the beginning he did not accept any sort of defiance or disagreement from me. This was an abusive relationship before it even began.

After removing my battered body from the ceiling hook, Richard sodomized me and handcuffed me to the foot of his bed.

The next morning I was to leave for work and Richard did not stand in my way. He knew that was the end of the road for us. I was not going to return.

I never went back.