I'm a 31-year-old straight guy who broke up with my girlfriend several months ago. I decided to try online dating to meet some new girls. One in particular seemed interesting, so we set up a date. She looked different than her picture but was still attractive. We had dinner with her best friend and date, and then went for drinks at a small bar where they were regulars. We stood around the crowded bar having a few too many drinks and talked with the people they knew. I bought a round of drinks and asked their favorite bartender to start a tab. He obliged but said my beer was on the house. I was a little puzzled, but accepted the free drink. I returned to my date and we partied until last call. Then, I went to pay my bar tab. After we settled, he put his hand on my shoulder and said, "My name's Matt. Definitely, come back anytime." I was a little drunk and thought nothing of it until the next day. As I recovered from my hangover, I realized this guy had made a pass at me. At first, I was a little freaked out but also a little intrigued. I had a funny feeling in my stomach and felt a little aroused. I started to blow it off, but realized this could be a one-time opportunity with someone safe and friendly. He was clean cut and a few inches taller than me. I would have never guessed he swung that way.
I guess I should mention I had thought about trying this before. An old girlfriend and I played with dildos on a few occasions and I found it pleasurable, but it wasn't enough. While sometimes looking at porn, I wondered what it felt like for the woman to give head and be penetrated. I had even ventured into chat rooms a few times hoping to meet a man, but I was generally turned off by the come-ons and crudeness. I soon realized why women sometimes complained about men. Was this my chance to finally experience this and find out if I might enjoy it? I had accidentally met someone who was seemingly nothing like those in the chat rooms. Maybe I should go for it and finally get my bi-curious itch scratched.
I waited a day and thought more about it. Then, I couldn't remember the name of the bar or where it was located since we took a cab. I searched the Yellow Pages and couldn't find it. After deciding to go out with the girl again, I emailed her and casually asked her the name of the bar. She would probably die if she knew why. 'So how do I do this?' I thought. 'Do I call and ask for Matt, and if so, what do I say? Do I just wander in for a drink? How do guys do it? Is it like chatting up a woman?' My thoughts ran rampant. Getting a little horny, I decided to go for it. It took a few drinks to get up the courage, but I finally went for it. I drove past the bar three times before parking. I walked past the door a couple of times then finally went inside. Of course, he wasn't working Monday night. However, he would be in the next night. Shit, was it ever going to happen?
All day at work, I couldn't focus. I felt flush and lightheaded. I was terrified but determined this was going to finally be it. Whether or not I liked it, I was going to try it. I wanted to find out what it was like to, let's admit it, be made love to by another man. Wait, what if I had read the signs wrong? I have no idea how these things work. After feeling let down, I decided to go with my instinct; I knew I had been hit on. I felt like I might explode as the afternoon dragged on. Finally, I left work early and rushed home. I began to feel less nervous as I prepared. I had waited for this for a long time and I was going to go through with it. I took my time getting ready. I enjoyed a long hot bath, ate an early dinner then dressed in my best black shirt and tight jeans. I made it until 7:00 p.m. and decided to go in.
I nervously found my way to the bar and took a seat. Matt wasn't at the bar, so I ordered a drink from another bartender. Over my shoulder, I heard a man's voice.
"I thought you'd be back." It was Matt. "Beer's on the house."
I smiled slightly as I nervously took large gulps of my drink. I asked, "What makes you think I'd be back?"
"Just a hunch," he replied confidently. I laughed nervously, but couldn't respond. He continued, "No date tonight?"
"No, I just felt like having a drink after a long day at work."
"Have another beer then come to the back, if you want. I'm doing a little inventory tonight. I'm not behind the bar."
I was already so nervous, I was shaking; then, a wave of heat rolled over me and I thought I might pass out. I felt a tingling in my groin as I tried to say, "Ok," but it was only a whisper.
Matt laughed. "What?"
I could only nod my head. He left for the back. I ordered a shot. The lady bartender said, "Go on back, he doesn't bite," and gave me a smile. I couldn't feel my body as I got up and headed to the rear of the bar. There was a small office inside the stockroom with neatly stacked boxes. He was sitting at the desk in the office and told me to come in. I quietly walked in and stood against the wall – as far away as possible and still be in the room. I had that feeling again and stood awkwardly. My mind raced and I couldn't think straight. He noticed I was uncomfortable. To break the ice, he asked me to help him with a couple of boxes. I practically bolted out of the office into the stock room.
He said, "You seem nervous, don't be. Here read the numbers off of these boxes, so I can check them on the list."
I had to clear my throat, and mind, so I could speak. "All done," Matt said, "Thanks."
I said, "No problem," and started to leave.
"Leaving so soon?" Matt asked.
"I feel kind of awkward."
"Hey, don't worry about" Matt said as he approached me.
I stiffened against the wall with my arms pressed against it, palms flat. I felt like I might slide down the wall, melting and terrified. Matt looked directly at me as he was only a few feet away and said, "I think I know what you need, but let me know if I'm wrong." I felt another wave of heat rush over me. My stomach was full of butterflies, queasy. My face was so hot, I felt like I might start sweating. I was so hard, I strained against my tight jeans and every heartbeat thrummed through my entire body. I stared at the floor as he moved closer. I swallowed hard and jumped as I felt his hands on my waist.
"Is this ok?" He asked.
I nodded.
He said, "Look up." I did. He moved in more closely. I could smell his cologne. He closed his eyes. I watched and tilted my head back as our lips finally met. His kiss was soft, yet powerful; he gently slid his tongue into my mouth. He moved his hands from my waist to my back and pulled me away from the wall. My breathing was heavy now. Our heads made slow circular motions as our tongues probed each other's mouths.
He pulled back slightly and said, "How was that?" Silently, I leaned forward for more. He leaned in and trailed his lips along my jaw to my ear and I could feel his hot breath as he asked, "Would you like to go back to my place for a glass of wine?" I said, "Yeah, alright."
