By the age of 18 I had (frustratingly) not yet gotten laid, and I of course wanted to, very badly. Pictures of sexy women, both in front of my eyes and behind them, were my constant companions. I was pretty sure I was not alone in this, but I became erect -- sometimes even painfully so - at the drop of a hat and had to relieve myself often.
Many were my fantasies of getting laid but I also began to believe that wet lips and a tongue would be able to create sensations far more intricate and pleasurable than a vagina. I since learned that there is no comparison - they are different but both wonderful - but my desire to be licked and sucked has never waned.
I had become acutely aware of something. The next block from where I grew up in old Philadelphia - a lovely neighborhood of brick townhouses, brick sidewalks and gas streetlamps - was a gay cruising area.
Every night after dark, men would stand or sit on the steps of houses while other men walked by, eying each other. And as I came and went from the block where I lived, visiting friends and returning home by foot, I couldn't help noticing how many of them eyed me as well. I knew I was attractive to girls and I was learning that I was attractive to men as well.
I think it came upon me slowly, as I was reluctant to admit it, but although I am completely not wired to be attracted to men (and I've since tried, it just doesn't work), I am wired to be attractive to men, and gradually I came to terms with the fact that a recurring fantasy of mine was to have my cock sucked by a man.
The fantasy and the urge took hold and grew and would not let me go. It still hasn't, many years later.
One of my best friends befriended an affluent gay couple who loved to smoke pot and were happy to share (with good looking teenage boys, anyway - hmm... I wonder why!). Us "good looking teenage boys", of course, were happy to have a source of free high-grade pot and we visited them many times in their apartment. The younger of the couple, Ron, kept making passes at me, which I of course rebuffed - or more, honestly, pretended were not happening, but I started thinking of a way I could arrange somehow to be alone at their apartment with no one but Ron. I didn't want my friends to know what I wanted.
One day the opportunity presented itself. I arrived at their apartment planning to meet my best friend there, and Ron's partner Steve told me that he had called and said he wouldn't be coming. He told me he himself was leaving but Ron would be coming home soon and I could wait if I wanted to get high with Ron.