I still don't know why I do it. But I do it.
There's that song about goin' back to New Orleans, and a ball and chain...
In my case, there's two balls, and it's not exactly a chain... but it is hard.
I get out of the car and look around, like I expect someone to recognize me. No matter how many times I do this, there's still that tinge of shame, that fear of discovery, like I'm doing something naughty, something wrong, like someone's going to know...
I'm a cocksucker.
I enter the arcade. This one has two sides, one is a big open room with a dozen tattered couches and a porn video continuously playing on a big screen. The room could be empty, or have several men disinterestedly watching the videos, or engaged in various sex acts for everyone to see.
But today I'm here, drawn to the other side.
I can feel my hands shaking.
I'm here for the glory holes.
I pick a booth, more or less at random, but it's the first one that's free, and it doesn't go un-noticed in my mind that the adjacent booth is occupied.
I enter and latch the door behind me. Again, with the fear of discovery. I go to sit in the chair, a hard, plastic affair firmly bolted to the floor, and I fumble with my money. The signs all threaten to kick you out if you're not playing a video, so I clumsily try to stuff a dollar in the slot. It won't go and I'm frustrated. Is the machine broken or is it my trembling fingers?
Then I see it, out of the corner of my eye. It's already happening. I hadn't been in there for 10 seconds, and I wasn't ready.
To my left, a cock is coming through the hole in the wall, and the adrenaline surges in my body. I think I dropped my dollar, I'm not sure if I put my wallet in my pocket or not, and even though I'm still getting adjusted in the seat, I'm now sliding to my knees as fast as I can in the dark confines of my little cell.
I reach out to touch it, out of fear that if I don't touch it fast enough, it will disappear, retreating back through the hole and out of my life - and right now that penis is what I live for.
In the dim light, I can see it's a decent cock, curving to the owner's left. It's circumcised, and roughly five inches long, about as long as my woody, but as my hand comes into contact with it I'm in for a surprise. It's totally flaccid.