God's Angel

Hi all, this story is a little preachy but it works for me. Hope you like it and as always, comment and rate. Also, the Dorothy Parker poem is called Resume and the words that God speaks are not actually the oldest line from the oldest book. You'll understand later on. Thanks!!

There were many statues in the park. Statues of governors and mayors from long ago, famous generals and soldiers, firefighters and even a couple of fanciful ones such as Alice and the Mad Hatter. But none were more compelling than that of Gabriel sitting on the park bench. That was probably because Gabriel wasn't a famous soldier, firefighters and had never even read Alice in Wonderland. No, Gabriel was just a human and sat on the same park bench every weekday from three till seven and every weekend from nine to dusk. He had done that for the last two years, the only exceptions being particularly rainy or cold days when his rainproof poncho or heavy parka couldn't keep out the weather. The townspeople considered him a point of interest or amusement and would think to themselves, `There he is. The other statue', and shake their heads. Even the birds thought of him as their favorite communing spot and would flock to him, barely disturbed by his movements occasional though they were.

Gabriel himself would sit and think and ponder about whatever came to mind, mostly his loneliness. He would remember better days, days not so far gone in his young life. Days that he had spent with Victor. Victor had been his boyfriend of seven years and as far as Gabriel had thought, would have been till they died. But Victor had other plans and had left him for someone he had feelings for. Gabriel had asked what had happened to Victor's feeling for him, but Victor just shrugged and said he didn't have them any longer. They had tried to remain friends but even that had soon dwindled to the occasional phone call and a card on Christmas picturing Victor and Carl (the new boyfriend) and an ugly little pug dog named Mugsy.

Gabriel had started coming to the park not long after he was dumped, unceremoniously by telephone, to sit and wonder what had happened. But he could find no reasons. Feelings fade obviously, was his only conclusion, and some people just don't belong together. The pain had changed into a sort of bitterness and combined with his malaise over his unsatisfactory job led to a feeling of profound disinterest in his life. Gabriel often considered suicide as an option but as the Dorothy Parker read,

"Razors pain you,

Rivers are damp,

Acid stains you,

Drugs cause cramp.

Guns aren't lawful,

Nooses give,

Gas smells awful,

You might as well live."

`It's true,' thought Gabriel. "There are just no good ways to kill yourself'. And so he lived. If you can consider sitting in the park, day after day, living. Gabriel did though. The highlight of his days was Tuesday when he would leave his well worn bench in the park, leave the birds, flowers and judgemental townspeople behind and walk to the Chinese restaurant for take out. It was his life. It wasn't all he wanted but it was all he had.

The days passed, as they always passed for Gabriel, routinely. But one day his life was upset by an abnormality. Someone sat on his bench beside him. He was an older man, but not much older than Gabriel's thirty five. His hair was starting to gray but his face hadn't been marked by many lines of age and character. He was close shaven and wore simple clothes. He was simply, ordinary. Gabriel tried to ignore him but was hard pressed since the man was sitting on his bench. His bench. Even the teenagers knew better than to sit on Gabriel's bench, why didn't this man?

"I hope you don't mind that I'm sitting here?" Asked a soft voice and Gabriel was taken aback by the fact that the man was even speaking to him.

"I don't care." Gabriel answered and the man nodded sagely.

"I didn't think so."

Gabriel wondered what that was supposed to mean and did so for quite a while till he realized the man was speaking to him yet again.

"What did you say?" Gabriel asked.

"I asked if you come here often." The man repeated. `Oh!' Gabriel thought. `The man was one of those.' It wasn't unprecedented that someone would come up to Gabriel occasionally trying to solicit sex, after all, Gabriel was good looking. By no means stunning, but his brown hair, green eyes, and slightly husky body presented a package that some would consider cute. Gabriel hadn't seen himself like that in a long way and even these rare sexual advances didn't help him feel better about himself.

"Look, I'm not interested in sex with you so if you don't mind, perhaps you could find a more suitable bench. I hear the one over by the north side of the park is better for that kind of thing."

"You think I want to have sex with you?" The man was surprised and chuckled. "No, I'm merely making conversation."

"Making conversation? By asking if I `come here often'? Sir, that's the oldest line in the book." Gabriel retorted.

"Which book?"

"Huh?"

"You said it's `the oldest line in the book'. Which book?" The man asked.

"The book... of ... pick up lines or old sayings. I don't know. It's just an old come on."

"Ah." The man nodded again. "The oldest line in the oldest book is `And she came upon me like the sea, sweeping forth through my body as if I weren't there. She captured my spirit in bright eyes and spoke her name, Aligtha'. It's from a collection of erotic poetry written by five Gestrian scholars or monks in what you now know as Mumbai."

"What does it mean?" Gabriel asked, unable to stop his curiosity. The man looked puzzled as if it had been self-explanatory.

"Well, it's poetry. Erotic poetry at that. It's meant to stimulate the senses and make one think of sex. However, the particular line that I recited is also meant to convey a certain amount of love. Love that overwhelms someone till they feel their existence is forever sealed with that person. It's quite beautiful, actually."

"That kind of love doesn't exist." Gabriel scoffed. "I've been in love but I've never been in... that." Gabriel waved a hand at the man as if referring to what he had just described.

"Says a man in pain." The man nodded.

"Hey, I've been hurt. Ok? I've been cast off for another. The person I loved with my whole heart left me for another and I'll never find that again."

"Says a man sitting on a park bench day after day." The man chuckled. "You people never cease to surprise me... or make me laugh." He said as if an after thought.

"What `people' is that?" Gabriel asked wondering if the man had somehow figured he was gay.

"What `people'? Why `people' people. You, here on the bench. The man and woman walking over there trying desperately to find something to say to each other. The young couple behind us that are so enraptured in themselves that they can't see anyone else. The children having so much fun playing with their dog just there and the young woman sitting on the edge of the fountain wondering if her husband is cheating on her and wondering if she should just overlook it."

Gabriel looked at each person the man pointed out and thought how could he know what they were thinking. The expressions on each of their faces led him to believe the old man just might be right.

"People have a great deal of hurt inside them and tend to wallow in it rather than try to change what they don't like. It's become a problem, if you ask me." The man added.

"That's the way of the world though. Pain and hurt. It's how God made the world."

"I made the world so that a person could chose what he or she wanted to see. If they wish to see pain and hurt than they will. If they wish to see happiness and love then they'll see that too. It's all free will, Gabriel. That's why pain exists so closely to happiness and love goes hand in hand with hate. What would be the point of living if everyday was rainbows and pots of gold? No, humans need pain in order to grow. It's the only thing that I really don't give them a choice about. You will grow whether you like it or not. How quickly and easily is up to you."

"Wait! You made the world? You give us a choice?" Gabriel scrunched up his face in disbelief and disgust. The man was crazy.

"You're God?" Gabriel asked.

"Yes, I am."

"Bullshit."

"Does God lie?" The man asked.

"If you were God then no I guess you wouldn't but then again, God can do anything so I guess He could if He wanted to." The man chuckled.

"Good point. Yes, I can lie if I want to but I'm not. I came down to talk to you, didn't I? Why would I come here just to lie to you?"

"Why would you come at all?" Gabriel asked and the man sighed.

"I don't usually. Every time I come down someone seems to screw things up and I try very hard not to interfere. I stand by people, I give them help and support when I can. I even try to inspire people to make good choices but I can only do so much and little whispers seem to work better than shouting."

"So you came down to whisper to me?" Gabriel asked incredulously.

"No," The man chuckled again. "I'm shouting here. You seem to be hard of hearing. Most people are. All they do is talk, talk, talk, cry, complain, and talk so more. No one listens. Try listening once in a while. I bet you'll find it helps."

"Listen sir, whoever you are, I think you need help."

"I do. I need lots and lots of help and no one seems to want to give me any." The man agreed.

"What does `God' need help with?" Gabriel asked.

"Well,-." The man looked at Gabriel with suspicious eyes. "No. That's all right." He said and stood up. "I'm sorry I interrupted your day. You can have your bench back. Have a good day."

The man was just about to walk away when Gabriel found he truly wanted to know what `God' needed help with.

"No, wait." Gabriel stood and walked the few feet that separated them. "I'm listening. What do you need help with?"

"Are you sure? You seem busy with your..... thinking." The old man said.

"I'm sure. What do you need help with?"

"I could really use someone to help out with a few projects of mine and I was thinking if you have some time you could donate it would really help out a lot. Nothing much. Just a soup kitchen. We'll start out small." The man said looking at Gabriel expectantly.

"A soup kitchen? Where is it?"

"Over on Second street in the Methodist church."

"Well.... I guess I could do that." Gabriel said not really sure why he agreed.

"Fine. I'll see you there tomorrow around noon?"

"Noon? I have work. I can't be there till four at the earliest."

"Well, we'll see then. Why don't you just come over when you're done with work." The man asked and smiled. "I'll see, Gabriel."

The man calling himself God walked away leaving Gabriel thinking it had been a strange day. Then Gabriel wondered how the man had known his name.

The next day, Gabriel arrived at work promptly at eight as usual. He had gone to school for accounting and found a book keeping job at a small accounting firm straight out of college. It was decent pay but for the amount of work he did, he should have been making twice as much. The old man who ran the company, Mr. Roberts, never seemed happy even though Gabriel was managing the lion's share of accounts competently and accurately. He sat down that morning at his desk and pulled out the file he had been working on yesterday when Mr. Roberts called him into his office.

"You wanted to see me, Mr. Roberts?"

"Yeah, sit down." Gabriel sat in the chair in front of Mr. Robert's desk and waited patiently for the man to speak.

"Where are you on the Sander's account?"

"I'm nearly done with the last reports."

"What about the Giovanni's?"

"Done. I gave you a list of all the one's I completed last week. Basically, except for the Sander's account and the Miller's I have everything done. I'll have those two accounts done by end of week." Gabriel said it matter-of-factly because he knew Mr. Roberts wasn't impressed with his work. There was no reason to expect praise or even a compliment from him.

"That's good." Mr. Roberts said.

"Excuse me, sir?"

"That's good." The old man repeated. Gabriel was speechless and his employer looked up from the papers on his desk for the first time. "What?"

"I'm sorry, sir. That's just the first time you've seemed pleased with my work."

"Whatever. Listen Donovan, we're letting you go." Mr. Roberts said using Gabriel's last name.

"Excuse me?"

"We're letting you go. My niece just got her C.P.A. and needs a job so we're giving her your position. She's starting tomorrow so there's no need for you to work the rest of the week. If you could clear out your desk today, I'll have your last paycheck ready." Again, Gabriel was speechless.

"Sir, I know we've had our differences but I do good work-, no excellent work for this firm." Gabriel began. "Why are you doing this?"

"It's nothing personal, Donovan. We don't need you anymore. Please clean out your desk and pick up your check. It'll be waiting for you at the front desk." Mr. Roberts returned to the papers in front of him. Gabriel sat stunned in the chair. "That's all, Donovan."

Gabriel cleaned out his desk of the few personal items amidst the few co-workers who though he was never close with any of them, seemed suddenly interested in why he was leaving. He picked up his final check from the front desk and left the office he had worked at for the last six years.

Gabriel unlocked the door to his apartment and put the small box of things he brought back from the office down on the kitchen table. His apartment was small and tidy but not well decorated. When he had moved into it after Victor left him, he had thought it temporary. That Victor would come to his senses and arrive on his doorstep to bring him back into his life. That had never happened and Gabriel could finally say to himself that it never would.

He collapsed on the couch in the small living room with a sigh and sat wondering what he would do with his life. Where would he find a job now? The small town in upstate New York wasn't brimming with accounting firms and the one he had just been fired from was the biggest. The small check in his pocket had an even smaller amount of money written on it and if he wasn't employed soon, Gabriel would have to dip into his meager savings. Gabriel sighed again and tried desperately not to cry. Why did life have to be so hard? Would he end up homeless and starving?

Gabriel's head snapped up at the thought. Homeless and starving. He looked up at the clock and saw it was a little after eleven. He could make the soup kitchen on Second street by noon. Perhaps helping people worse off than himself would give him some perspective. Perhaps something good would come of it.`Not likely.' Gabriel thought, but still he stood, found his shoes and made his way to the Methodist church.

It was just before noon that he arrived and walked into the large wooden door at the front of the church. They slammed shut with a bang that echoed and brought an older man's head around. He was dressed as a minister and kneeling in a pew, his head had been bowed in prayer.

"Can I help you, son?" The minister asked.

"I'm looking for the soup kitchen. I wanted to volunteer." Gabriel said. The man smiled and raised his eyes to the ceiling, or beyond to heaven.

"Thank God. I was just praying for that very thing." He stood, came over to Gabriel and took his hand. "We've so little help and are of desperate need."

"Well, I guess you've what little help I can give."

"We'll take any help you can give and be thankful for it. You're young. It's good to see the youth of today caring about something other than xbox." The minister said and began leading the way through the church to a side door.

"Someone made a suggestion that I should help other people and not... think too much, I guess."

"I know you. You're the man who sits in the park."

"Yeah."

"I'll thank God for whoever sent you to us." He said and Gabriel smirked and thought about telling him who the old man said he was.

The minister introduced himself as Pastor Jack and showed Gabriel into a small hall on the side of the church. There were an awful lot of people, some in the ragged clothes of the homeless, others in cleaner clothes of those just down on their luck. But Gabriel was struck with how many there were.

"The soup kitchen is here," the minister pointed to a kitchen counter where people were serving soup, bread, fruit, and sandwiches to those in need. "And the food pantry is there. We give as much as we can, but lately we don't seem to have enough to give as much as we'd like to everyone."

"Why is that?" Gabriel asked.

"Some people only think of food pantries and soup kitchen around the holidays. They don't seem to understand that it's a year long need." Pastor Jack called out to someone and a man not much older than Gabriel came walking over.

"Ethan, this is..."

"Gabriel Donovan."

"Ethan, this is Gabriel. He's come to help us. Gabriel, this is our fearless leader, Ethan Rockafeller."

"Any relation?" Gabriel asked.

"I wish." The man smiled and Gabriel found himself thinking how cute he was. Black hair, just a little too long and blue eyes the color of a summer sky. His body wasn't bad either. "I've tried using that with the Rockafeller foundation but they didn't find it funny. They told me if I tried to make that connection again they'd sue me. It's nice to meet you, Gabriel." Ethan said and shook Gabriel's hand.

"Nice to meet you too."

"We really appreciate you helping out. It's just been the few people here for so long we could use someone else."

"Well, I'll try my best."

"That's all we can ask." The minister said. "Excuse me, I'm going to speak with some of our flock." He said and left the two men alone.

"Come on, I'll show you around."

Gabriel was shown the small layout and had the rules explained to him before being thrown into the fray of dishing and handing out food. He thought it was pitiful that there wasn't enough to go around but worked diligently and collapsed beside the older women and few men who helped out. Ethan sat down next to him.

"How did you like your first day?" He asked.

"It was a lot." Gabriel said, checking his watch. It was seven o'clock and he had been there since noon.

"It is a lot. There are a lot of people in need, not just out there in the world but right here in our back yard. We do what we can but there's just not enough sometimes." Ethan tried to smile encouragingly but it didn't seem to reach his eyes. Gabriel could tell that he was getting despondent.

"So, what do you do?"

"I am- or rather I was a C.P.A. for Roberts and Seymour. I got laid off today."

"Oh God. I'm sorry. Did they give you a reason?"

"Yeah, Mr. Robert's niece is coming to work for them so they're giving her my position."

"Wow. I'm really sorry, Gabriel. That's terrible. You ok? You need some food? We don't have a lot left-." Ethan offered.

"No, I'm ok. I've got a little put aside but I had better find a job pretty soon."

"Oh wait! You're a C.P.A.?" Ethan asked, his face lighting up.

"Yeah."

"I could use one." Gabriel gave Ethan a look of disbelief.

"Thanks Ethan but I don't think I'm a charity case just yet."

"No, but I am." Ethan countered. "I have a few small businesses around town and I've been swamped just doing payroll. I haven't touched the books in forever. I usually just send them out to Roberts and Seymour. You've probably heard of the Northeast Products Group?"

Gabriel had. It was one of his former employers biggest clients which dealt with the taxes, expenses and receipts of a number of smaller subsidiary companies. He had made some suggestions to Mr. Roberts on how to better handle their money but he had been told to `keep it simple, stupid'.