To the readers: I'm asking for a great deal of forgiveness on this one. My openoffice program seems to crash every time I run spell check now so if things slip by, my apologies.
*
Gabe stepped off the train onto the Dobbs Ferry platform and stood for a minute as if not sure what came next. A crowd of people rushed around him and disappeared into the night, heading to their cars or home or both. He sighed and pulled his bags after him as he made his way toward the parking lot. A voice caught his attention and he saw Darren waiting for him just up ahead. Darren rushed up and pulled him into a bear hug when he got closer.
"How are you doing?" He asked.
"I watched the man I love get married to a woman today." Gabe said, returning the embrace. "I don't think I'm doing so well."
"Let's get you home. We'll have a nice cup of tea and bitch about men. Tomorrow we'll get you all settled." Darren said, leading Gabe toward his Honda.
"I know it's a little late in asking, but you're sure Phil's ok with all of this?" Gabe asked.
"He's totally ok with this. He's got a huge list of people looking for accountants and he's even marked those he thinks you should work for with little stars." Darren laughed.
"That's nice of him." Gabe said. "He seems like a great guy."
"He is." Darren said and couldn't help the stars in his eyes. "The best."
"I'm happy for you." Gabe smiled weakly.
"No, you're not sweetie. You're hurting and in pain and want to kick my teeth in for having a relationship that you think you'll never have." Darren reached out and took Gabe's hand.
"I don't!" Gabe tried to deny it.
"Trust me, I've been there. I know how it feels, especially when you see two people in love and you get that nasty feeling in your stomach. But you will find a good man, one who loves you like you deserve to be loved."
"I don't know, Darren. I think I just want to be done with the whole thing."
"I know. You're feeling sorry for yourself and a little bitter. Not that you don't have a reason to, but let it go as soon as you can. You won't move on till you do."
Darren and Gabe rode in silence and finally pulled up in front of a beautiful Victorian house just outside of town. Though it was dark Gabe could see enough by the street lights to be impressed.
"What did you say Phil does for a living?" Gabe asked as he took in the house. Darren laughed.
"It's gorgeous, right? I loved it the moment I saw it. He's an Investment Banker. He takes money from people, makes them more money. Luckily for me, cause I don't make nearly enough on my salary to keep us here. If I were supporting us we'd be living in an apartment or back upstate, God forbid."
Darren led the way into the house and called out to Phil that they were home. A group of dogs came to greet them, yapping and barking. They were a mixed and matched set of dogs who at best could only be described as mutts. Darren bent and rubbed each one's head.
"Wow." Gabe said. "You've got dogs."
"Yeah." Darren said, laughing. "We rescued each from the pound before they were put to sleep. We couldn't just leave them there. We went looking for one dog and landed up bringing home three. Then we kept thinking of the other ones just waiting to die and went back for more. Phil finally put his foot down after ten. We've got a big yard so it's not so bad."
"That's cool." Gabe said and looked up as Phil came into the room.
"Hey baby." He said and kissed Darren's cheek. "Hey Gabe. Welcome."
"Phil, I don't know what to say. You're so great to do this for me and let me invade your home. I'll be out as soon as I can."
"Gabe, it's not a problem. Don't worry about it. Stay as long as you need to and don't rush. Really. My home is your home." Phil said and took Gabe's bag from him. "Honey, why don't you show Gabe around and I'll put his bag in his room."
"Thanks, babe." Darren said and pulled Gabe along for a tour.
The inside of the house was just as beautiful as the outside and Gabe was awe struck as he followed Darren around. When they finally came to the room he'd be staying in, Gabe felt humbled by the generosity of his friends. He felt like his entire apartment could have fit inside the room, not mentioning the private bath.
"We've eaten already but if you're hungry I can make you something."
"Thanks Darren, I ate before I got on the train." It was a lie but Gabe didn't feel very hungry at the moment.
"Well, if you get hungry what ever's downstairs is fair game, except the Cracker Jacks. Phil has an addiction and we're working on it."
"Got it. You know, you guys seem great together." Gabe said, as he started unpacking.
"We are." Darren admitted, honestly. "I sometimes can't believe I found him."
"How long have you guys been together?"
"It's been six years, no, seven years this July."
"Wow. That's amazing. That's what I want."
"You'll have it. You just have to find the man that's right for you." Darren sat on the edge of the bed. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"What's to talk about? I fell in love with someone who was experimenting with his homosexuality and when his parents said that he'd better marry or he wouldn't get the company, he chose a woman and the company over me."
"He's a scumbag."
"Well, that scumbag got married today."
"I take that back." Darren said. "He's an asshole scumbag who should be shot and tortured."
"I really don't care. I just need to pick up the pieces of my life and move on. We were only together for a little while. I don't know why I'm getting so upset over it."
"Honey, love just comes. Sometimes fast, sometimes slow, you can't measure it. If you were in love then your heart was involved and that's never easy." Darren stood and gave Gabe a big hug. "You'll get through this. Till then, I'm here for you whenever you need me and you stay for as long as you like. I'm really excited having the company."
"Thanks, Darren. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this."
"Then don't. It'll only irritate me." Darren headed toward the door but turned around before leaving. "Oh and when you're ready we have some really nice guys we'd like you to meet."
Gabe started work on his life the next day. Phil had left the list he made of companies looking for an accountant on the kitchen table and Gabe scanned through it over his morning coffee. He had copies of his resume and sent them out to almost everyone on the list. He prayed that he would soon have a job and be able to give Darren and Phil back their peace and quiet, though he did do his best to be an appreciative guest and help out when he could. Not having a car, Gabe would take long walks around the area, and despite the fact that there were quite a few parks, preferred sitting on the benches down by the Hudson River. He was there one day, staring out over the calm water, enjoying the warm early summer day when an elderly black woman came over.
"Do you mind?" She asked.
"I'm sorry?"
"Do you mind if I sit?"
"Oh, no. By all means." Gabe said and scooted over a little to make room.
"Thank you. You looked like you had something on your mind. I didn't want to disturb you by sitting on your bench."
"That's all right. They're city benches. They're for everyone."
"They are," She said, nodding. "But you get awfully proprietorial about them. Don't you, Gabriel?"
"I'm sorry, have we met?" Gabe asked.
"Of course we have. It hasn't been so long since we've talked that you could forget me so easily." She said and Gabe felt a shimmer of recognition crawl up his back.
"I'm new to the area and I don't know anyone around here. I'm sorry, ma'am but I don't know you." He said, stubbornly.
"You don't recognize me because the last time we spoke I was a man, but you know me."
"No, I really don't." Gabe stood and started to walk away.
"Gabe, people talk to God everyday. Are you really going to pass up another chance to hear him talk back simply because I don't look like I used to?"
"No!" Gabe said, spinning around. "This is a trick. You and the other guy got together and are punking me or something. You're just actors."
"No one is punking you. I'm simply trying to make you see a larger truth." She said.
"Why are you doing this to me? If you really are God, why me?"
"Because out of everyone in this world, you're the one who needs it most. Besides, you're not the only one I speak to like this. Not everyone who says they see and talk to God are crazy."
