Going Home

Here you go my amazing fans :) The one thing you've all been wanting, along with a few more interesting tidbits I've been neglecting. Enjoy all thank you so much for reading :)

Chapter five: strange emotions

October 23, 2002

"Baby? Where are you going?" I was beyond tired, passed out in Luke's bed and opened my eyes as he tried to sneak out of bed.

He froze for a second before looking back at me and giving me that smile that I knew was fake. Whatever was going to come out of his mouth next was going to be a lie.

"I'm hungry babe, we had a....exhausting night." He was trying to distract me.

"So you should be in bed...with me."

I knew he was leaving. There was something going on he wouldn't tell me, something being built under his house. I heard the hammers and drills sometimes, but he liked to pretend that it wasn't happening, shielding me from whatever it was. I had already guessed Luke was into drugs, maybe more. He was stupidly rich, he had a mansion for Christ's sake, and the guys that hung around here weren't exactly upstanding citizens.

I had never really been involved with anything like that before, so I wasn't really sure how I would handle it. I knew I loved this man though, 3 months and I couldn't stand being away from him for longer than a couple of days, if that. So I was pretty sure I could handle him being a drug dealer or whatever it was he was into if he would just open up and let me have the chance.

"I'll be back babe I promise." He leaned over and gave me a small peck on the lips, something he did when he was feeling guilty or bad and then pulled on some jeans and a shirt and left without waiting for a response from me.

I gave him about a 5 minute head start....then I got up, already dressed and followed him. I saw his BMW pulling out of the drive way and rushed to the motorcycle he had been letting me use. I kept the light off and followed him at a leisurely distance. If anyone knew when they were being followed it was Luke.

Finally he pulled into a parking garage, going up to the third floor which seemed pretty much empty and stopped. I parked on the first level and used my small size to slink up without a sound to where he was. I perched behind a pillar as Luke got out of the BMW and walked over to a little blue Miata, where a short twitchy guy slowly got out.

Leslie followed Luke, looking more intimidating then I had ever seen him in a black muscle shirt and dark jeans. I watched with wide eyes as Leslie walked behind the little man, grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him close to Luke.

"Jim....Jimmy Jim Jim, tell me you have my money. Please, I really don't want to get blood on me, I got a date tonight." Luke's voice was scary as hell, colder than I had ever heard it and downright terrifying.

Jim, whoever he was, started to shake. "Look Luke, man I got it, I got it, I just don't have it with me right now, but I can get it, I swear." Luke took a deep breath before he pulled out a 9mm Beretta. My eyes widened. Oh god, oh no tell me he wasn't going to do what I think he was.

"That's the third time Jim. You know the saying. Three times..."

He leveled the gun at the man's chest, "And you're out."

The explosion that gun made shook me to my core, making me yell. Leslie's eyes flashed over to me as Jim fell to the ground and Luke's head whipped around.

"Fuck Johnny! What the hell do you think you're doing!" Luke screamed at me, coming towards me.

I scrambled back, tripping over myself as I turned around and ran back towards the bike. I heard Luke coming after me, and the BMW start, presumably by Leslie and kept running. I wasn't stupid enough to have my keys in my pocket when I reached the bike, they were out and already in my hand. I knew it was stupid that I brought a motorcycle I knew it, I yelled at myself.

I drove off, squealing tires as Luke jumped into the BMW that was right on my ass.

"Follow him!" he screamed and Leslie peeled out after me.

Oh man, oh shit, oh man. What the hell was I supposed to do now? My mind wasn't even comprehending what I had seen. That man was dead. Like...dead. Gone, not coming back. A hole through his heart stopping his life as quick as I could blink. This can't be real. I wasn't paying attention to the road, and when I got to a red light I was stupid enough to slow down. I shook my head at my stupidity and went to speed up again, looking behind me to see the BMW wasn't there.

I frowned before I relaxed in relief. Maybe they decided I wasn't worth chasing. That was the last time I ever made that mistake. A big body landed hard on the back of my bike, making me swerve all over the road before Luke reached around me and took control of the bike. Leslie, who was behind us, followed so close I'm surprised he didn't clip the bike as I let my hands drop from the handles, trying to think as Luke drove us to his house.

We got to the sprawling mansion and Luke didn't even try to talk to me, grabbing me roughly by the back of the neck and dragging me into the house, past the guard that stared at us with unflinching eyes. We got some curious looks from the guys milling about the house but no one was stupid enough to say anything.

Luke dragged me upstairs, practically carrying me he was walking so fast. We got to his room, adjoined to his office and he walked in, letting Leslie slam the door behind him and throwing me so hard on the bed I bounced.

Luke paced around the room for a minute, running his hand through his short hair while Leslie took up station in front of the door, looking at me with sad eyes.

I wondered for a second if he would let his boss kill his best friend. I decided then I didn't really want to know. Luke turned back to me, his face breaking from the mask I knew so well. He was scared shitless.

"What the fuck Johnny. Why would you follow me, I thought you trusted me."

I stood slowly, watching his eyes which were starting to look a little frantic.

"Luke how can I trust you when you don't trust me? You hide from me, you lie to me, trust is a two way street man, and so far I'm the only one on it." My voice was low and calm, though my mind was going insane.

Luke walked over to me and I fought very hard not to move, even when he put his hand on my cheek. I was so scared of him, knowing my life was very much in his hands now. Luke would decide if I became another missing teen.

He glanced at Leslie and my friend nodded, pulling out his phone and walking out the door. I didn't know exactly but I think he was making a call about the body in that garage.

"I don't want to lose you Johnny." Luke whispered, drawing my eyes back to him, his voice so filled with emotion my heart broke for him.

I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him close, not fighting when he picked me up, just wrapping my body around him. He held me so tight it hurt but I didn't care. I loved this man...I loved him no matter what.

"Then let me in Luke. Don't hide from me anymore. I can handle a lot more than you think I can, and I would do anything for you. I love you Luke. No matter what."

His eyes were guarded, and I could see he wanted to trust me, he really did but he was scared. This was a very revealing night, I had never seen him show so much emotion in the past three months, not once.

I was still scared, i was terrified actually, i was still trying to come to terms that he had killed a man, that he was a capable of that. My mind however was also realizing that this man was the love of my life, and i might not be like him or approve of how he does things, but i loved him, and i was going to have to take the good and the bad if i wanted to have him.

He slowly put me down and started pacing in front of me again. I didn't push, just crossed my arms and propped myself up against one of the banisters on his four post bed. Luke looked like he was doing some serious thinking, the kind that made frown lines deep on his forehead. Finally he stopped and looked at me, his face smoothing.

"How much do you want to know Johnny? How deep do you want to go?"

I knew my answer before it came out of my mouth, "Everything Luke. Everything."

He looked into my eyes for a long moment before nodding, "It's your funeral," I think he whispered before grabbing my hand and walking me out of his room.

We walked to the end of the hall where he pushed a random piece of the move, shocking me to my core when it moved. A brand new, probably just installed elevator was behind that piece of wall and I looked at him in surprise. Luke stepped onto the elevator and held his hand out to me. I knew if I took it my life was going to change, maybe for the worse or maybe for the better, but either way it would be with Luke.

"Man I'm dumb." I said, slapping my hand into his.

"Yea, yea you are Johnny boy." Luke said but he was grinning from ear to ear as the doors shut.

Present day

I wondered how long it would take for me to not think about him. Probably years...a lot more than two at least. I looked up from the paperwork I was doing as he and Leslie came down the elevator together. Luke was his usual composed self and Leslie was, as always, trying to look scary and failing. At least to me. They made their way over to me, Luke talking to a few people on the way. Why were they coming over here? Oh right I was at Luke's desk.

I didn't even realize where I was, automatically going to his office to do my paperwork like I used to. Only difference is there used to be two chairs on this side of the big desk. They walked in as I was standing up.

"Sit down Johnny boy." Luke said in that demanding voice of his, reaching behind him to roll in my old chair.

I shook my head, "No Luke it's cool. I'll go work at the workstation, it's no big."

I went to leave and he stepped in front of me, taking a deep breath that calmed his big body.

"Stay...please Johnny." Both Leslie and I frowned. Luke didn't say please; most of the time he didn't need to.

I wasn't going to be the one that poked the sleeping tiger so I nodded, letting him walk past me to his chair and pulling mine up by the desk.

I didn't sit nearly as close as I used to, basically sitting at the side of the desk, and to my amazement Luke didn't say anything. We both started doing our work as Leslie left and I tried hard not to twitch in the awkward silence.

"Ok Johnny boy put on some music or something here." Luke said suddenly after about five minutes.

I laughed and he laughed and I put my iPod on shuffle, sitting it in the center of the desk so we could both hear it.

That definitely broke the tension, both us bobbing our heads or tapping our foot. Then my stupid iPod had to betray me. Follow me, by Uncle Kracker started playing...Luke and I's song.

I tensed, reaching forward but Luke beat me to it. I was shocked to my core when Luke was the one that reached out, tapping the button to change the song. I looked up at him and he smiled, just a little quirk of his lips. I smiled back, telling myself to get back to work.

Luke kept it up all day. I kept waiting for the other shoe to fall on his nice side but it didn't. He opened doors for me, he helped me with my work, he picked up stuff that I dropped. It was like he was trying to win my heart all over again. This, however, was not the Luke I knew, and not the way he won me in the first place. I had a sinking suspicion what it was though.

Around 8 that night Luke was gone and I needed to ask him something about next week's shipment. I didn't know where he was so I figured Leslie would know. I went upstairs and knocked once before opening the door, stopping dead in the doorway as my jaw dropped.

Leslie and William, both bare as the day they were born jumped apart as the door swung open in front of me.

"Oh shit." William muttered.

"Johnny! Wait, um. It's not what you think."

Leslie started as they both tried to find clothes while trying to stay covered.

"I'll....come back later." I said, voice nicely shocked.

I walked out, shutting the door behind me and walked in a daze to the elevator. Well...that was unexpected. That was about the most coherent thought I could muster. I heard the door open and two sets of boots coming down the hall after me.

"Johnny wait, please." Leslie called and I stopped, turning around slowly.

William didn't say anything as Leslie started babbling and I kept my eye on him as I tried to listen.

I caught the last part, "- and I know Luke would flip, I'm sorry you had to find out like that."

I frowned, "How long you guys been doing this?" Leslie had the grace to look embarrassed while William looked away for the first time in the whole five minute rant. Ah...when I had left.

"Well I guess it sucks I came back huh." I said without thinking.

"Johnny no, man I'm sorry you had to find out like this. Look we only waited until you left because we figured that was one less person that would be pissed off, and not to mention with my attention not so...divided it just worked."

I knew what he meant. As hypocritical as it may be Luke hated office romances. Wouldn't allow it under any circumstance especially not with a job as dangerous as ours. I looked from Leslie's pleading eyes to William's who were watching Leslie with an emotion that I knew well. It was the same look I had given Luke a long time ago. That look of pure emotion and fear, thinking things were about to go South fast.

"Leslie can you excuse us please?" Leslie frowned, wanting to argue.

"I'll talk to Luke Les, I promise. Now give us a minute."

Leslie nodded, reluctantly, and slowly walked back to his room.

"Les..." I called after him and he turned, "You two don't do any runs together anymore. Got it?"

I knew why it was dangerous, because you automatically chose the person you cared about before anything else, it was a reason Luke and I had never gone out on a run together, not once. Leslie nodded, leaving me alone with William who planted his feet, crossing his arms like he was getting ready to fight me.

"You took a big risk, going against one of Luke's rules, especially with someone he considers his." I stated calmly, watching his face. He didn't flinch.

"Yea...I did." He said, his eyes challenging mine. I stepped up until we were real close, though he was taller than me by 4 inches.

"Let's get one thing straight William. You hurt my best friend, and it won't be Luke who snaps your neck like a twig. Got it?"

His eyes flared at the threat but after a minute of intense eye contact he nodded, stepping back with a look of respect on his face. I nodded to him, stepping in the elevator and he gave me a small smile as he walked back to Leslie's room. As nice and romantic as it was that they could be together and blah blah blah, they weren't the ones that had to talk to Luke. That was a conversation I wasn't looking forward to.

One...breaking a big rule. Two...breaking said rule behind his back. Three...doing it with Leslie of all people, who Luke thought of as his own. Oh yea...fun times.

Luke still wasn't back when I got back down stairs and I headed to the office to change around a few schedules in light of this new information. I looked up a few minutes later as Luke stepped off the elevator...with a tray of food. From what I could see it was tomato soup and mashed potatoes, and the only person I knew that liked that freaky mixture was me.

I needed to nip this in the bud fast, this was not the Luke we all knew and...yea this just wasn't Luke.

Luke came in the office with a small smile, putting the food in front of me.

"Luke we need to talk." I said, no point being shy about it.

He frowned, "Are you not hungry, you want something else?"

He started to move the tray and I stopped him with a gentle hand.

"What are you doing Luke? This isn't you." His face smoothed out and he looked down.

"I don't know what you mean Johnny." Johnny, not Johnny boy.

"Luke you don't need to be Daniel." He flinched and I stood up, taking his hand in mine.

"I don't need a guy like Daniel, Luke, and acting like him won't get you anywhere any faster."

I realized the mistake as soon as I said it, when his eyes flashed up to mine.

"Any faster? Which means I'm going somewhere huh?"

I closed my eyes on a sigh, dropping his hand and promptly ignoring the question.

"I got to talk to you about something, not involving us and you're not going to like it."

Luke put on his blank face and sat down behind the desk, propping his elbows up and lacing his fingers.

"Well by all means go ahead." His voice was smooth and calm, and scary as shit.

"There is an office romance that you need to know about. It's been going on for a while, and....I want you to let it go on. I already changed around schedules so they won't be together, and honestly it's not hurting anyone and it's not affecting their jobs or you would have known because it's been going on since I left."

Luke's hands tightened but beyond that he didn't really react. Which meant he was royally pissed off. Then his eyes turned calculating, looking me up and down. I frowned, already not liking what he was going to say.

"You want me to let this go on huh? As what...a favor to you?"

I sighed, "I guess you couldn't just do it out of the kindness of your heart huh?"

He didn't grace that with an answer, "Fine, but I want something from you in return."

I ran a hand over my face, "What do you want?" My voice was very cautious.

Luke laughed, "Don't sound so excited Johnny boy. I don't know what I want yet, it depends on who these guys are and how important they are to me. If it's just a couple janitors I won't be too hard on ya."

He had no idea, I thought wearily.

"Well...William for one." I said slowly and he raised a brow, waiting.

"William and Leslie." I said, almost wanting to hide behind my hand like a kid.

"What!" He yelled, standing up quickly.

He stalked towards the door and I threw myself in front of it.

"What do you want? Come on Luke I owe you, you know you want to take advantage of that."

I couldn't let him upstairs, Leslie was finally happy, for however long and I wouldn't let Luke ruin that.

Luke's fists were clenching and unclenching and his eyes were brilliantly blue as he looked down at me. His hands slowly traveled up my arms to cup my neck, his thumbs stroking along the veins. After a minute he leaned down, his lips meeting mine soundly.

I had to fight back the moan as I tasted his mouth again for the first time in two years...well for the first time sober anyway. My hands slid up to hold onto his shoulders without me noticing as his tongue danced around with mine, trying to dominate. He pushed me back against the door and I groaned, his mouth greedily eating the sound.

His hand ran through my hair, reaching down to wrap around my throat, applying just enough pressure to turn me on and I pulled away from his mouth on a gasp, my eyes flying to his, not even remembering when I had closed them.

Luke smiled, the anger replaced with a new kind of tension.

He pulled away with a grin, "As for that favor."

I gaped at him and he laughed, "You and me are going out Friday. There is a new bar in Fairngton, and I want to show you around."

I wanted to fight but the look in his eyes told me not to, "What time should I be here?"

His face showed genuine surprise, "Your leaving?" I slowly moved away from him, needing some space, "I don't live here Luke, and even if I wanted to stay the only available place is your bed and that's a no."

He glared at me, "Fine. Just....stay here after work on Thursday. Were both grown adults and I promise I won't molest you like some out of control teen."

He walked out of the office and I frowned, wondering if I had really hurt his feelings. Since when was he that easy to hurt anyway?