Chapter Eight -- Three Mistakes
Jonathan had to be thankful for small mercies as the class he had together with Maddox went without any notable incidents, which meant that the guy hadn't thrown knowing looks in his direction or done anything to appear that he was even aware of them being in the same room. Now he was starting to believe that he had done nothing but overreact lately. That kiss had been nothing but some sort of a joke, after all, with Maddox challenging him to do it, and him... well, doing it. It didn't mean anything. Given Maddox's experience, he must have been kissed thousands of times by people with a lot more to offer than Jonathan.
No, not people in general, but girls in particular, he told himself. Actually, he had no idea. Maddox could go around kissing guys at random, for all he knew. Only for him that moment had been special, and he was just blowing things out of proportion like a teenager experiencing the frissons of a first love.
Jonathan liked to believe he was way past that stage, thank you very much. Therefore, he had no reason not to accompany Ray to the party and pretend he was a part of the campus life like everyone else. Maddox would just play around with some girl, like he usually did, no matter what Sunny Hill Xpress kept talking about, and Jonathan would play the wallflower for as long as it was polite to be there and then return to his humble quarters.
The most annoying part of it all wasn't how things played out, which was entirely for the best, but how disappointed he felt. He couldn't repress that annoying feeling if it killed him, and he was getting a bit tired to be so guarded all the time just so that he could keep any thoughts of Maddox out of his mind.
Ray was already bouncing off the walls with excitement, as the hour at which the party started was drawing near. He had tried four different hairstyles that Jonathan had found strangely similar since Ray couldn't discipline his mop of hair if an army of hairstylists were at his beck and call. Then the wardrobe ordeal had come, and Jonathan had used all the persuasion he could muster to convince his roommate that he just needed to dress comfortably to enjoy the party.
"Is this how you're going?" Ray's eyes grew wide when he looked at him.
For no particular reason, Jonathan had opted for the same light sweater he had worn at the time of the kiss. In the evenings, the temperatures were starting to drop, so it was a reasonable choice. "Yes. What is wrong with it?"
"It's like you're dressed for class, not a party. So conservative," Ray commented and shook his head.
"You somehow still have the wrong idea about this party. It's not the country club, Ray."
"My point exactly. The only thing you're missing is a tie."
Well, if it had happened that he wore one that time, he would have picked a tie, too, right now. Was he being sentimental? No, he just enjoyed clothes he could feel comfortable in, unlike Ray. "Stop pestering me already. Look who turned into a party animal overnight, giving lessons to others on how to dress and all. Let's just go already so that you can see that it's just another party."
"Just another party," Ray mirrored his last words with a moan. "You must have been to some really cool ones before coming to Sunny Hill, right?"
"Not really, no," Jonathan said abruptly.
Ray stopped brushing his hair for the tenth time and turned toward him. "Was it that bad? Before? You never talk about it, but I feel like it was."
Jonathan just threw Ray a look that needed no explanation. He didn't want to talk to anyone about it, and it wasn't like he had something against his roommate in particular. But he preferred if that particular sore spot in his life was forgotten, and he was not one to raise the dead, figuratively speaking. The Jonathan Hamilton from before was no more, which meant that he was supposed to be done and over being starry-eyed, naïve, and in love with the wrong person.
That thought kept buzzing around his brain. If he were falling in love with Maddox, it would be so, so bad. What the hell was happening to his resolution that he would just find a nice gay guy, someone out and uncomplicated, who would have no reason to hide? Apparently, it was enough for a pair of lovely gray eyes to look his way, and he was turned into a ditzy character incapable of controlling himself or his feelings.
"I get it," Ray said, interrupting his musings. "But just know that whenever you're ready to talk about it, I'll be right here."
"Thank you," Jonathan said and allowed Ray to embrace him shortly. "That's good to know. Now let's just go to that party so that you can get it out of your system."
***
Maddox was so restless he could barely do more than exchange a few words here and there with people he had personally invited. His eyes kept darting toward the door, as it appeared that Jonathan enjoyed testing his patience by being fashionably late.
Dex slapped his shoulder and then grabbed him to pull him aside. "Maddox, it's not that I don't enjoy watching you fret like a schoolboy waiting for his crush to come through the door, but even I, despite enjoying teasing you the most, need to tell you to chill. It's torture merely looking at you fidgeting like you have something up your butt."
"I don't think he's coming."
"It's early. Not even half the people are here, and Kane is still debating if crackers and chips should be mixed in the same bowl."
"I don't think so," Maddox offered his input. "I mean, just tell him to place them in separate bowls, and get the biggest ones. People are going to start feeding like pigs after a few drinks."
"Ah, nice to hear you talking about other things. Now, move away from the door and mingle a little like the most popular boy on campus that you are."
Maddox was about to follow Dex's advice when the door opened to let in another stream of new comers. And behind them, he noticed right away, Jonathan Hamilton walked in, and suddenly, the entire universe, except for one special guy, disappeared.
He strutted over to him, deciding not to let him out of his sight for one moment. Jonathan might choose to walk back home any moment since he didn't appear to be the kind to party.
"Hey, Maddox," someone called and put himself between him and Jonathan.
"Hey, man," he replied and turned his attention to the intruder with reluctance. That was Ray, Jonathan's roommate, and Maddox had already forgotten the ruse he had used to get the most important person to attend his party. "Glad to see you could make it."
Gawd, he was talking like a middle-aged soccer mom. He responded to Ray's off the scale enthusiasm by giving him a short hug. He stared at Jonathan over the boy's shoulder. "And that you brought your roommate with you." His eyes bore into the beautiful ambers that were challenging him from less than one foot away.
"Yeah, not like it was easy, but I convinced him," Ray chatted happily.
Maddox patted Ray on the back. "See the big guy there?" He pointed at Dex. "Tell him I sent you. He'll show you around. I'll take care of your roommate in the meantime," he added quickly.
Dex needed to help after teasing him so much, so taking care of Ray should be on his list, Maddox decided. While Ray waved happily at Jonathan and rushed toward Dex, he no longer dallied. Without a word, he grabbed Jonathan by the hand and pulled him toward him. As much as he was a mess on the inside, he knew how to play cool on the outside. "What do you say? Do you like our house?"
"It's big," Jonathan admitted and pulled his hand away, a bit too slowly to not be interpreted as reluctant. "And nice. I mean, I suppose. I just entered."
"Let me show you my room," Maddox said abruptly and gestured with his chin for Jonathan to follow him.
