Grey

I hadn't planned on adding to this story, but people asked for an ending, I was surprised but happy to attempt one. I hope you like it. Any feedback is welcome, I want to become a better writer!

Carol was not in the barn. Neither was she in the garden, or the main sitting room. As I wandered through the house searching, I found myself noticing how beautiful it was. I had been there long enough to explore, but I had spent my time sulking. That and avoiding Grey with all my energy. As broken as I felt, I also felt free. There was nothing else for me to lose. There were no dates I could be late for, no elders breathing down my neck. The more time passed the calmer I felt, even with the itch growing with every passing moment. I found I wasn't even upset with Grey. Or even really with myself. I had made a mistake. It was my fault so why should I be upset with him; he had only done what I had asked. As for myself, there was nothing I could do about it now, so why worry.

I finally found Carol in one of the sun filled reading nooks. She looked so engrossed in her book I hated to disturb her, but all too soon the itch forced me to speak.

"Hi, I hate to bother you." Carol looked up at me slowly; she didn't look at all surprised to see me.

"I wondered when you would come find me." I was the one who was surprised.

"Why- how did you-"

"How did I know you touched one of my iguanas? Because, Alex, moments after you stopped behaving like yourself. I was unsure until breakfast, but there it was obvious. I would be surprised if anyone didn't notice the looks you were giving Grey." I blushed. This is what I didn't want. People to know. I knew Carol wouldn't tell, but if she had noticed, more people were bound to.

"I couldn't- I mean I didn't mean to touch it, I just did, just a bit!" I couldn't organize my thoughts but I knew I didn't want her to disapprove of me, but the look in her eyes suggested it was a bit too late.

"I questioned the intelligence of taking you with me from the very beginning. I thought I hadn't done well, then you proved me right. I'm just lucky it was just a little touch. Though with the control you didn't show, I'm surprised you are standing here now- with all your clothes on." I blushed harder. I felt a bit dizzy. The combination of embarrassment and uneven blood flow making me sway on my feet.

"It wasn't too bad. I mean I can control myself." Well now I could; who knew how long it would last.

Carol looked pointedly at my hand, the nails still a bit bloody. Then her eyes lifted to my neck and the marks that were sure to stand out on my pale skin.

"Oh really?" Carol had always been blunt, but she was usually nice to me. I had really disappointed her. My one supporter had disappeared.

"Will you just tell me how to make it go away?" I knew if it took much longer I might cry, or worse, run back to Grey. For a long moment Carol didn't answer. I was about to give up and find some corner to cry in until the itch got too bad to bear when she again looked up from her book.

"If I tell you, you have to promise to listen better in the future. There are things here that are much more dangerous than fire iguanas." I nodded eagerly.

"You will probably need Grey's help." I frowned and began to ask for another way, but never got that far. "You need someone familiar with the land and plants, you could ask someone else, but do you really want to explain your situation?" That was a good point, but why couldn't she help me? The frown remained.

"Alex, all I have done is do you favors. I have given you excuse after excuse and all you have done is take, and ignore what I tell you. This is the last thing I am going to do until you earn some more trust. You do have to return favors to get more here. Maybe where you come from you get things for nothing. But that is going to change." I nodded. She had a point. Even if I didn't like it.

"Come back with Grey, I don't trust you to remember my instructions." My blush returned with a vengeance. How was I supposed to talk to him after all I had said- done? How could I ask for help after running away? "I won't wait for you all day, so you might want to get going." Well I had to get this fixed. No one had died of humiliation as far as I knew.

**

Grey was still sitting on the bed, looking at his hands. Less time had passed than I though. I closed the door as quietly as I could, but it didn't seem to matter, Grey didn't respond, even when I called his name.

"Grey!" I asked again and again. There was never any response. Finally I gathered enough courage to tap him on the shoulder. He jumped and stared at me like I was a ghost.

"I- umm, need your help." I couldn't hold his gaze for long, especially because the itch was becoming a tickle, and he smelled so good. I couldn't resist leaning closer. Each breath made the tingle worse. Making it back to Carol and following her instructions with the steady increase of feeling was not going to be fun.

"You don't hate me?" I shook my head at Grey's question.

"Nope, I don't even hate myself, not anymore. I think, well- I think that it was just what I needed." I blushed harder. My blood must be getting a workout, traveling from below the belt to my face so many times. It was surprising I hadn't passed out yet.

"Really?" Grey sounded so unsure. I felt bad. I really had been a dick.

"Yah, and I actually wouldn't mind doing it again." I sank to my knees before him and looked up through my eyelashes. I watched as if from far away as I leaned in for a kiss. I would never do something so bold, and yet that was what I was doing.

As out of character as it was I kind of liked it. I felt free, who knew inhibitions were so restricting.

Grey kissed back, but gently- like I would run away. I couldn't blame him but I wanted more. Carol could just wait a little longer.

Finally Grey pulled my shirt over my head, I hissed as my shoulder muscles stretched. I was sore everywhere. He paused but I slid my fingers under his shirt, careful to touch only with the pads of my fingers. Grey finally got the message. He slid from the bed to kneel with me.

This time there was no frantic grabbing. The itch was still there, but it seemed content for us to take our time. I wondered for a moment if maybe this was Carol's plan, but that thought didn't last long.

Grey began kissing down my neck; he was taller than me so soon he was pushing me back, my back arched, testing the flexibility between my vertebrae. It felt amazing, the stretch and Grey slowly tasting every inch of my skin. His lips on my nipples left me gasping, but it was only a brief touch, soon he was moving on: to dip his tongue in my bellybutton, to nibble my hipbones. I found myself holding my breath, silently begging him to go farther.

After an eternity Grey began to pull the soft fabric of my pants down, slowly, so slowly, so I could feel each thread brushing my skin. When I thought I would go insane with impatient want he flipped out positions and placed me on the bed. I looked down at his flushed cheeks and kiss-swollen lips. He looked more perfect than anything I had ever seen. There was nothing I would change if I had that power. We stared at each other, admiring our effect on the other. The very idea that I could cause such a reaction in another person was amazing to me, that someone as perfect as Grey would want me, lust after me, and like me- because there was more than lust in his gaze- completely floored me.

I was lost in his eyes, the beauty and the curiosity. Suddenly I wanted to know everything about him. Not just his history, but also his every thought feeling. I wanted to look into his mind, find what drew him to me, what made him put up with me, what put that look in his eyes.

"You are so beautiful." He whispered, startling me from my adoration. "Always, but especially now. I could never claim you as mine, you are so much more." How was he making sentences? I tried to come up with a response, but couldn't, I decided a kiss would have to do.

It went on forever, and I wished it could continue forever, but the itch was getting continually worse, and it wouldn't be satisfied with kisses. I wouldn't be satisfied with kisses. I pulled my lips away from Grey's and looked into eyes hazy with lust.

"I need more." I whispered.

"Anything" He answered and pushed me back. He pulled away, and I was inhaling to protest when he stood to remove his pants, anything I was going to say was lost in the glory of his body. I had never been too impressed with any renaissance statue, he reminded me of one-but he was so much better, so flushed, so alive. I opened my legs and arms sighing when he settled into me, I relished every inch of his skin against mine. Yet still it wasn't enough.

"In me." I whispered clinging to his beautiful shoulders and arching to feel the full length of him more fully against me.

"Aren't you sore?" I nodded

"I don't care, I need you- please!" I still didn't raise my voice. I didn't need to. One of Grey's hands drifted from my hip to slip between my legs, I arched further to give him room. The first touch had me gasping, in pain, yes, but so much pleasure. It was made even sweeter by the pain. Grey smiled down as he slipped a finger inside. I smiled back. As much as I needed him my mind was still clear. This was how I wished the first time had been.

Grey pulled away again, I watched with wide eyes as he pulled open a drawer and came back with a small bottle of oil.

"This time there doesn't need to be pain." I nodded and pulled him back to me. He took one of my hands in his free one and kissed the tips of my fingers. "Be gentile with yourself." Any other time I would have blushed, but my blood was otherwise occupied. I only nodded.

Grey took his time spreading the oil, on himself and inside and outside of me. It was the most delicious feeling. It was smoother than any oil I had ever felt, and smelled almost as amazing as Grey. I tried to make a mental note to ask what it was, but that was the moment Grey began to push inside.

It hurt more than I expected, but also felt better than anything. Grey looked down at me and we locked eyes. It was the closest I had ever felt with anyone, I felt like nothing this perfect could be real. I wrapped my legs around him and tucked my face into his neck. The connection was too much. I didn't want to move, ever. I just wanted to feel Grey around me, inside me, forever. He murmured in my ear, not words but reassurance all the same. I could feel him trembling, his hips fighting not to flex, to push inside me. I kissed his neck and forced myself to relax.

The first full thrust took my breath, the next made me scream. I tried to be quieter with the next, but I couldn't keep the sensation in my mind, each time the perfection of it surprised me. Grey's hands moved to support me, one behind my head and one behind my hips, lifting them to the perfect angle. He pressed kisses to my face, never in the same place. I never wanted it to end.

All too soon the blinding pleasure began to change, to grow. I opened eyes I didn't remember closing to see Grey looking down at me. I guessed I he had never stopped watching.

"It's okay to let go." He said in my ear, then took my lips in a kiss quieting the whimper I let out as my orgasm began. It was too much to suffer alone. Luckily I took Grey with me. I was only dimly aware of his rhythm faltering as the world disappeared.

I was aware of nothing but sensation for a long time. The first thing that made is into my mind was the feeling of Grey still inside me, rocking gently. Then I became aware of the violent spasms that still rocked my body. I opened my eyes slowly, and found Grey's had finally closed. His lashed brushed his cheeks so gently; I didn't want them to move. I wanted to feel them against my face. But all too soon he opened his eyes.

"You okay?" He asked still whispering. His voice was slightly horse, I wondered if he had been as loud as I was. I nodded. Finally as the shakes faded, he stopped moving. He wrapped his arms tightly around me and flipped onto his back. The movement sent one last shiver of pleasure through my body. If there was any more I was sure I wouldn't survive it.

There was no need for words. We rested, feeling each other's heartbeats begin to slow until we slipped into sleep.

**

I woke surrounded by the smell of Grey. My eyes opened slowly and I catalogued the aches settling into my muscles. I listened to the sound of Grey's breath in my ear when finally I remembered.

"Oh god!" Grey was awake in a moment. I strained my neck to look at him. "How long did we sleep? We have to find Carol." Grey didn't know how long it had been, so we forced ourselves to get up. We didn't bother cleaning up, just pulled our clothes over our sweaty skin. I tried not to think of what else was drying under the soft cotton. I might have been more relaxed than before. But I still didn't want to think too closely about the ache and wetness between my legs.

We hurried as quickly as we could to the alcove I had found Carol in, luckily she was still there.

"Well, it took you long enough." She spoke without looking up from her book.

"Sorry"

"Well I guess you were busy. I retain that your self control is not the best." I blushed. Grey took my hand.

"I don't mind." He murmured in my ear. My blush darkened.

"I suppose you want to know what you need to do to get rid of the poison." I nodded. Wasn't that obvious?

"First you need to find the blossom from a natural magnolia...." The list went on. The ingredients seemingly normal, but the combination strange. When we had heard all the instructions I looked up at Grey, he looked uneasy.

"What?" I was getting impatient. Apparently sex didn't fix all my faults.

"How long do we have to finish this?" He asked Carol. I was slightly upset he had ignored me, but it seemed to be the right question.

"It is best if the cure is given within 24 hours." I blinked. How long had it been?

"And if it is not?" Grey continued.

"Well, it just works less, there might be some lingering effects." I couldn't live with this forever, we would have to hurry.

"Well, we better go then." Grey tugged my hand. I fully agreed, but I did call out a thank you to Carol. I had a feeling I needed to remain on her good side.

I started mixing the dried ingredients in a huge mortar and pestle and Grey went to get the fresh ones. I felt much more comfortable mixing things that were labeled, and I had no idea where things were in the massive garden behind the house.

It took almost two hours to assemble the ingredients. Hopefully it wouldn't take too long to assemble them, the mixture was supposed to sit for 6 hours after finishing and it was already dark outside. It had been very early morning when I had first touched the iguana, and time seemed to pass differently here. It seemed like days ago that I had been in the barn watching Trixie fight with the bulls. It had been a long day, but all in all a good one. I smiled at Grey who was just coming inside with an armful of vines, leaves, and blossoms.

"I really hope this cure doesn't make you hate me again." He said seeing my expression, my smile didn't falter.

"I never hated you. I was just really scared, and well I've done what I was scared of. So what's there to loose?" Grey didn't return my smile, his expression told me he thought there was plenty to lose.

Working with Grey to assemble the mixture was almost fun. We worked mostly in silence. There was so much I wanted to learn about him, but we had a lifetime to figure that out. I had time to get my words straight in my mind. So much had changed, and I hadn't begun to think through it all.

When they were almost done Grey began to hum. It sounded like a lullaby, it was unbelievably sweet. And time seemed to slow.

"There are so many things I want to share with you." Grey stopped his tune suddenly. He stopped mixing to look right at me. "So many places I want to show you, songs I want to sing to you. I hadn't let myself hope. After that first night I gave up on ever having the little things with you. I knew you would have to come around a bit. But just now I realize, all those things are possible." He let out a laugh. It was the happiest sound I could imagine. "Now, suddenly, I can plan the next week, next year- it feels amazing." And here, mixing up the seemingly random items next to Grey, I too could imagine it.

**

The calm could only last for so long. Just as I began sifting some sort of flour over a mix of honeysuckle nectar the door opened. In swept Grey's mother. I could feel the calm sliding away the moment I saw her face. Immediately all the things I had hoped no one would ever hear about me came sliding into my mind. I wished we had showered. Maybe she could smell- maybe she could see- my nails were in plain sight. I felt nauseous, my skin crawled. I was suddenly aware of a faint itch inside. Blood rushed to my cheeks. My hands began to shake.

"You look so guilty, what have you done now?" Her voice wasn't angry, but it was patronizing. For someone who had picked me and pulled me from my past life she didn't seem to like me too much.

"I- I haven't, I just. I didn't think." I couldn't think. "I just, we were making, I didn't think it would make such-" It was becoming hard to breathe. Grey put a steadying hand behind my back. It didn't help much. I put down the shifter and held onto the counter to stop the shaking.

"Nothing mom, he didn't do anything wrong." I shook harder, I knew it was a lie, Carol was right. I had trouble following rules and I had broken one, an important one. I was using her kitchen without asking. I was a guest and I was messing everything up. I had ignored all the protocols and rituals I was supposed to do since I had arrived. I had disrespected the elders.

"I'm so sorry!" The words came out without my permission. "I am so, so sorry, I will make it up! I'll replace everything- I'll wash the sheets-" The though of laundry brought me back to what lay under my clothes. I swayed.

"Shh." Both Grey and his mother hushed me. I stopped talking and waited to hear my punishment.

"I didn't mean to hurt you." His mother spoke softly, as if to a spooked animal. "I should have known to be more gently, it has been quite a day for you hasn't it." She knew. She knew it all. Visions of everything I had done floated through my mind. She knew it all. Grey nudged me with his hip.

"Don't make what we did dirty. Nothing we did was unnatural, or even that wild." He whispered in my ear. But it was so dirty, even the things I had said made me cringe.

"Oh little one, remember I have children, you do know where they come from right?" Patronizing again, still I nodded. Still, I didn't have kids. And I still didn't want everyone to know that I was no longer a virgin. Especially not anyone's mother.

"I just came to see if you needed any help. Carol said it could be a difficult recipe." Grey answered and as they talked I began to calm down. I had survived the second person, but the idea of facing anyone else still made my heart drop. Breakfast was bound to be torture. Wait...

"Why am I not hungry?" I interrupted whatever Grey had been saying. "I haven't really eaten since breakfast, and I didn't eat much then." Both Grey and his mother looked at me warily. I didn't think I would like the answer. My cheeks began to warm in preparation. "What is it?" Maybe if I was prepared for the worst-

"Well, if you feed other hungers-" Grey began, but didn't exercise burn calories, wasn't sex supposed to make you hungry. Even my thoughts were embarrassing.

"That doesn't make sense."

"Some types of bindings create energy-" Grey's mother began, "The sharing of- certain fluids-" Dear god let her stop. I didn't want to learn the answer. I began smashing the plants in the bowl very vigorously. Maybe if I didn't look at her she wouldn't continue. No such luck. "The bond itself created energy, the emotional connection, which is also magnified by the iguana's poison with the sexual energy. But also the basic exchange of semen, blood, and saliva can create energy- almost as strong as a spell, but as the energy is undirected, it usually filters back into the- participants." I wanted to stop listening, but I couldn't. Grey's hand on my back wasn't helping; it burned into my skin, reminding me how he had supported my back, my hips. My face must be the color of beetroots. Maybe she was close to finishing her explanations- "Also significant events, especially emotional ones, create energy, like conceiving a child or losing virginity." I looked up sharply. Dear god she knew everything.