It is said that water will find its own level. I have found that people will rise or sink to the level to which they're destined. Regardless of who or what you consider yourself to be, others can and may see you for what you are. Like it or not, hate it or love it, reality prevails. Once we accept our true nature, only then can we be truly happy.
Cin's birthday present to me had been wonderful and so very exciting. But there was also an element of fear. The fear that comes when I realized that my whole life had changed, and not knowing where that change would take me.
For sure, Bruce had taken me to a place I'd never been before. Well, perhaps he didn't take me, but he most assuredly helped me get there. It could have been the alcohol, and that strange pill Cindy gave me. Then again, there were all those pretty bois cavorting out in a public place wearing panties, hose, make-up and the like. I them found so beautiful and very arousing. I felt a kinship with them. I wanted to be them. The vibe was so sexual and sensual that me sucking Bruce's cock was unavoidable.
When I swallowed Bruce's load as he face-timed my wife so she could see, it was as if I'd become a different person. Those gathered, watching me suck my first cock, applauded as I passed the test all first-time cock suckers face. (NOTE: the test I refer to is for those who have wanted, been tempted, but have never gathered the courage to kneel and welcome a cock into their mouths and swallowed their reward.)
For some, they never get beyond their desire to suck a nice hard cock. They are left with their fantasies and regrets having never followed through. Others have been forced on their knees by desire, coercion, or circumstances out of their control.
For me, it seemed all it took was a few shots of alcohol, a pill to relax me, and a handsome man that cared for me and wanted me to be with him. Even in the state of bliss after conquering my first cock, I knew, oh how I just knew that sucking cocks would be in my future. Whether Cindy wanted me to continue or not, it was she who opened Pandora's box and freed a newly minted cock craving sissy that night.
And, since I had my wife's permission to enjoy myself and had my handsome man to take care of me, I joined the other soft and pretty bois frolicking in The World-Famous Turf Club.
In my new panty and pink sneakers, I allowed a pretty boi who Bruce knew as randi to apply a little make-up on me. I thought it would be a fun thing to do.
randi took me to the ladies' room and had me sit on the sink's counter. We giggled a lot and I would interrupt her efforts pulling her close and sucking her large nipples. It took a while but she was able to apply a little mascara and lipstick on me. When she finished, she and I kissed as other pretty bois chatted, giggled, and played among themselves.
We left the ladies' room holding hands. randi took me around the club to introduce me to those she knew. "This is Miss johnnie. She's one of Bruce's girls," she told them. I was greeted excitedly and fully accepted in to their exclusive club of soft fenimine bois.
We were chicks with dicks and we were with men who liked us because we had dicks.
It was touchy-feelie at every table and the dance floor. I had large sexy leather wearing men proposition me. "When Bruce gets tired of you, baby girl, come to me. I have what you need," was their familiar line. They had me clutch their big cocks and ran their hand down the back of my panties to hold and squeezed my bottom. It was all almost too much.
I was staggering when randi took me back to Bruce. He was chatting with another man and indicated that I should wait quietly while the men talked. "I don't want to bother you with man talk, baby girl. Go sit over there and wait for me to finish."
I did as my man directed and waited. I had seen pretty bois on leashes led by real men so I understood where I fit in. Bruce is the man; my man and my role would be as his submissive. Instead of being pissed or hurt by Bruce's action, I felt included, part of something new and exciting.
randi saw me sitting alone and brought over a tray of Jello shooters. By the time the men finished their conversation, I was barely able to stand much less walk.
Waking in my own bed the next afternoon, it took me a few minutes to realize where I was and how I got there. I had vague memories of the previous night. The last thing I remember was Bruce picking me up in his strong arms and carrying me out to his car. The rest was a complete blank.
I raised the sheet and saw I was completely naked. I wondered where Cindy was and how she'd act after what I'd done last night.
I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. I was shocked when I looked in the mirror. I had mascara and lipstick and didn't look at all like my normal self. "Wow," was all I could say as I cleaned my face.
"There's the birthday boy," Cindy smiled coming into the room as I was tying my robe.
"I have no idea what got into me last night, hon. I mean I remember meeting Bruce and all but what I did was out of character for me."
My wife listened with a patient smiled.
"I don't know why I would do what I did. What did you give me? That pill. What was it?"
"We'll get into that later. You were pretty funny when Bruce carried you in at 4 AM."
I was? He did? Oh God," I almost wailed. "Did I... did he... did we?"
"Come let me pour you a cup of coffee. You look like you need it."
At least my wife wasn't angry with my antics or she appeared that way. You never know for sure. Women can suppress shit like that for months or years, and later, for no reason you can discern, and out of the blue, when you aren't expecting it, she'll bring that shit up and throw it in your face.
We sat across the table from each other. "johnnie, please listen to me and let me finish. I knew you had some gay or at least bisexual tendencies in you. I sensed it when I'd see you looking at some femme boi or some daddy bear, and sigh."
"But I..."
"No. Please don't interrupt me. Please allow me to finish, baby."
"Sorry," I apologized slumping in my chair.
"I saw you with Bruce. I have it recorded. johnnie, you can't deny that you enjoyed sucking his cock. I thought it was sexy and beautiful. Really," she said when she saw the incredulous look on my face. "And I must say, you looked so fucking sexy in those panties Bruce helped me buy you."
"Bruce told me you were worried about cheating on me and me leaving you. You're so sweet. I have no intentions of leaving you and I set it up so it wasn't like you were cheating."
I was relieved to hear that.
"No baby, what happened last night was natural. You have always been, well, let's say very agreeable. Um, you know, you take direction well."
"Submissive," I blurted.
"Well okay, submissive then. And it's perfectly fine. We go together well. I admit I can be bossy and you, well, you just go along with it never complaining."
"Please Cin. What are you trying to say?"
I watched my wife take a deep breath. "johnnie, I have no agenda here. I want us to stay together as husband and wife. I am prepared to allow you to pursue your affair with Bruce as long as you want. But you have to love me, and we must still make love, have sex. I can accept you being bi-sexual but if you go full-out homo on me, all bets are off."
She rose and came to me. Her hand on my shoulder, she stood waiting for me to say something. I looked up at her and saw the look of concern on her beautiful face. I stood and hugged her to me. "Cindy, there is no one more important to me than you. I love you. I have loved since I met you and I will always love you."
We both shed a tear but did not get physical. She knew I was feeling ill from my hangover.
