Having a Laugh

It started out with the two of us having a laugh. I showed Reece some photos on my phone of our mates doing stupid shit with their cocks out and he said we should go one better and pretend like we were doing gay stuff.

So that's how it started and it seemed really funny at the time. Grabbing each other's wangers in the first few shots and then making it look like we were sucking each other off. After we'd creased up laughing at all those, he said I should stand behind him and act like I was knobbing his arse.

That turned out to be priceless.

He had the back of his trousers and keks pulled down and was bending forwards with my rod pushed into his butt-cheeks.

If you'd seen it, I swear you'd have pissed yourself laughing.

"Trouble is though, Jordan, your dick's too limp," Reece had said. "You need to get it bigger to make it look more real."

So I'd had to wazz off a bit before we'd taken the next photo to get my knob a bit harder and it had seemed kind of weird to be rubbing my prick in front of a mate. But Reece had just made some joke like, "I knew you was a wanker," or something, and I'd pretended I thought it was funny while I was stood there feeling like a total retard, my fist slapping up and down on my pecker and my bollocks jiggling around.

When I had a semi that was big enough, he turned around and bent forwards a bit.

"Shove it between my cheeks this time. It's gotta be believable."

I pulled the skin of my cock right back so I could slide the red part into his butt-crack and I was surprised at how nice it felt once it was in there.

I know that sounds gay, but it did.

I mean, his arse crack was hairy which felt kind of nasty at first, but his cheeks were warm and sort of gripped my helmet, so my dick grew a bit bigger just from where I was pushing it.

"Lower down, you dumb-head!" he called out.

"What d'ya mean, lower down?"

"You've got to push it in lower down, Jordan. Where my hole is."

"I'm not pushing it down there, you div."

I'd noticed he had a few skid-marks on his undies. I didn't want my knob-end anywhere near those had come from.

"Come on, it isn't gonna look like your bodging me if your todger isn't in the right place."

I moved it a bit lower, hoping not to go too close to his pooper, and again I was surprised at how good it felt. Now it wasn't just warm and tight, it was a bit slippery too. I felt my cock getting harder at the feel of where it was and he laughed and pushed back against me: "Yeah, that's it, push it right in!"

I snapped a few photos of us stood like that, the two of us grinning like total planks with my prick pushed into his arse-crack. We fell about when we saw them - Jeez, it looked like we were a right pair of bum-boys - but then Reece said we shouldn't be smiling in the photos, but should look like we were gasping and about to cum.

"And you need to push your cock into me further," he went on. "You can see your bell-end in that shot - it's obvious you're nowhere near actually bumming me."

"It's only supposed to be joke, Reece."

"Yeah, but to be funny it's gotta be convincing," he insisted. "It can't be obvious we're just messing about."

He squatted further forwards and shoved his arse back towards me.

"Go on, push it further in, Jordan. So you can't see your jeb-end."

"I'm not gonna shove my dick inside your butt-hole, Reece," I said. "It'll be fucking well shitty!"

"Come on, mate, it's not like I'm asking you to get proper gay with me," he chuckled, "Just another half inch should do it!"

I did as he wanted me to but by now my rod was getting pretty stiff and when he pushed back against me I could swear the end of it slid inside his hole. It felt hot and really wet and I could feel his brown ring squeezing around my red-end.

I could smell it too: smell his slimy arse as it opened up to take my cock. Not a shitty smell, well not really; just kind of raunchy like a pair of boxers get when you've worn them for a few days and the back of them's gone a bit skanky.

I took a few more photos and we pretended like we were in sexual ecstasy or some shit. Making faces like the two of us were horny for each other, both of us well into it and ready to spunk off at any second. And all the time he kept pushing back against me, so that the hot wetness around my bell-end was slowly working down more and more of my shaft.

At one point I said, "You do know I'm bodging you for real, Reece, don't you?"

But he got really pissed off and shouted, "Fuck off, Jordan! Like hell you are! I mean, fucking hell, are either of us queer or something?"

"Of course we're not!" I tried to laugh.

"Well, we can't be proper bodging then, can we? Only queer fellas do that kind of stuff for real. Jesus, I thought everyone knew that!"

I wasn't sure I followed his logic but if he was okay about having my beef-pole up his butt, it felt nice enough from my side that I wasn't going to complain.

When I looked at the next set of photos I couldn't stop laughing: we really did look like biggest pair of butt-munchers you could imagine. But then I noticed Reece had a great big fuck-off hard-on and that while he was pushing back against me, making that dumb-ass face of his, his knob was standing upwards with its skin pulled right back.

"You've stalked right up, you fucktard!" I told him. "Jeez, mate, look at the size of your prick - you look as if you're built like a fucking donkey!"

Reece grabbed the phone off me and looked at the photo. He chuckled at how turned-on his great big donger looked and said, "Well it's only convincing if I'm running a boner!"

"It's deliberate, you mean?" I asked, still standing there behind him with my own smaller stiffy slowly being nibbled by his hot, wet hole.

"There's no point me doing all this 'ooh-aah, I'm cumming' stuff if my cock's just dangling there looking about two inches long."

I laughed, "Oh yeah." It was pretty obvious really.

We took a few more photos of the two of us acting like we were gaying it right up, him pushing his arse out and me grabbing him by the shoulders. By now the top half of my dick was plugged deep inside his hole and I knew full well when we kept laughing about how we were 'pretending' I was butt-fucking him, it was pretty much bullshit; what we were doing was the genuine article.

Our mates would find the photos hilarious, that much was given, but for me the funniest part of it would be that, while they were giggling away at how stupid we looked pretending like we were bumming, they'd actually be looking at me with my knob up Reece's arse for real.

But he didn't seem that bothered that he had a good few inches of my wanger inside him. As long as neither of us were gay, a bit of bum fun was okay for him; as long as it was just the two of us having a laugh, it didn't really count.

I pulled out of him in a hurry when we heard his mam come home from work and we quickly yanked our pants and trousers back up, giggling like we were a couple of naughty kids. I told Reece I'd sort the photos out before the weekend and he laughed that one of our mates Callum, who everyone says sucked a fella off behind a bus shelter, would probably get a full-on boner when he saw them.

That same night when I was lying there wanking off in bed, I wondered what the skanky smell was that was growing really strong. I put my face under my sheets and instead of smelling my usual cheesy cock smell, the whole of my bed stunk like Reece's arse. It was under my foreskin as I was jerking it back and forth, my big purple helmet stinking like I still had it up him.

The crazy part was, though, instead of being grossed out, the smell made my cock swell massive in my hand. I was like, "Fucking hell! This is well hot!" and I started whacking my fist fast and hard like I do when I haven't tossed off for a few days.

It was as if I was shagging my mate's arse while I jacked myself off: his smell was so strong I could really imagine that I was fucking his butthole right there and then. I loved the dirty stink of it wafting from my bell-end: this was proper raunchy sex; what it would be like for the two of us lads to be rutting together with my cock up his shitter; gasping and panting, sweaty and hot.

I shot the biggest wad I'd blown for ages. I even hit my face and got some of it on my lips. It was like I was sixteen again I was that horny.

The next night after that when I wanked off wasn't half as good even though I hadn't washed my dick, so I came up with an idea of how I could get the smell of his arse on my helmet again.

I said, "Those photos didn't turn out that good in the end. It was way too obvious we were just messing about."

I'd thought Reece would say I should Photoshop them; I'm always cutting pictures together, making stupid mash-ups to go on Twitter.

But he didn't. He went in straight for the bait.

"Do you want to do it again?" he asked.

"I suppose we could," I answered, surprised at how keen he sounded and trying to make it seem like I hadn't really thought it through. "Only... you know... if we do, we shouldn't pull all those stupid faces. We should just pretend like I'm porking you, all serious and full-on."

"I could do you this time," he offered. "I could wedge my dick between your butt-cheeks."

"I didn't mean swapping places," I said in a hurry. "I just meant like we did last time, only with less titsing about."

"Go on, Jordan, it'll be way funnier to do it both ways," he insisted. "We'll do it your way first, and then you have a try of bending over. It's only fair, mate."

I wasn't too sure but I really wanted to smell his butt stink that night when I jerked off so I said okay.

"Your go first, then," he'd grinned and turned around to pull down the back of his trousers and pants and show me his bare arse.

This time there was no need for me to wazz off in front of him to make myself hard. This time just the sight of his butt-cheeks, and the thought of that horny-as-fuck smell that I knew was between them, had my todger throbbing even before I'd unzipped myself.

"You're well up for this, Jordan," Reece laughed when he saw my donger at full mast.

"I just want it to be more convincing this time, mate."

He chuckled, "Yeah, me too!" and flashed me his own prick which was also rock hard and looked even bigger than I remembered.

He bent over for me and opened his legs as wide as he could with his trousers around his knees. He was wearing different coloured pants but they had skid marks on them the same as last time. That made me smile: this would be nice and smelly; just what I was after.

I shuffled up behind him and nuzzled my dick between his cheeks. He didn't have to tell me where to put it: I found his bullseye with one quick lunge.

"Oh fuck!" he called out and grabbed his own wood, tugging it a few times while I eased myself into that hot, slimy hole of his.

"D'you actually like this?" I asked, not really believing that a guy could enjoy having his arse bodged.

He turned to me with a look of annoyance. "Of course I fucking don't! It's not like I'm gay, you dipshit! I just need to keep my dick hard - make it look more real for when we start taking photos."

"Oh right," I said back.

Jeez, I could be such a nonce sometimes. As if he'd enjoy having my prick shoved up him.

As I reached for my phone and held it out to the side of us, his hand kept working hard to keep his boner and I felt his arse open up a bit further. My own knob slid a few more inches into him, kind of like fucking a girl but with his tunnel much hotter and the sides more sticky.

He didn't seem to notice that I'd just worked half my dick into his butt and I felt his ring squeeze tight behind it, holding my shaft firm.

"I can feel your balls against the tops of my thighs," he said, in a totally matter-of-fact way. Like it was the most ordinary thing for one guy to say to another.

I took a couple of photos and then checked them out. They looked totally hilarious: him wazzing that massive donger of his, with my cock stuffed halfway up his arse and my knackers pressing into the backs of his legs. This time we looked like we were proper into it: our faces made it seem like we were doing it for real.

I had good laugh and then showed them to him.

He laughed too: "Oh fuck, Jordan! You can see your prick up my fucking poop chute! We look like a right pair of nancies!"

I grabbed the phone back and looked at the shots again. I didn't think we looked like nancies at all: we didn't look girlie or camp or any shit like that. We looked like a couple of horny-as-fuck lads seeing what bumming felt like which was, if we were being honest about it, pretty much what we were.

I switched the phone back to camera and he turned to look over his shoulder at me.

He said, with a smirk, "Shove your knob right in so can get a shot of your pubes against my arse-cheeks!"

I couldn't help but grin back down at him as I pushed my cock further into his hole. He gasped and worked his arse against me, his hairy butt-cheeks swallowing the rest of my cock right up to the hilt.

I took a couple of photos of us joined together like that and then chuckled as I looked at them.

I said, "I dunno if we can show the guys this."

He grabbed the phone off me and laughed at us stood there, my full seven inches plugged right up his butt and my fat, hairy bollocks pressing into the backs of his thighs.

"Why the fuck not? This is fucking legend, mate!"

"It's one thing pretending we're bumming, Reece. But this is like proper gay stuff!"

He turned to me looking arsed off. "Aw, don't start all that bullshit again, Jordan!"

"How's it not gay for me to have my cock shoved all the way up your arse?"

"Stop with the fucking gay shit! Lads mess around like this all the time. It's called having a laugh... banter..."

"You reckon?"

"I know it, mate! I mean, how can it be gay for us do stuff like this if we're not gay ourselves? How would that work then?"

"So it's only gay sex when it's gay guys doing it?" I asked him.

"That's the whole fucking point, you dick-splash!" he laughed. "That's why everyone'll think it's so funny!"

After I'd taken a couple of photos underneath us, of our two pairs of bollocks with only one massive knob - his - out in front, he suggested I should video the two of us. That would have our mates laughing themselves shitless, he said, seeing a clip of the two of us going at it like a couple of boned-up butt-pirates.

I fiddled with my phone while he kept jerking himself off, aware that his arse was squeezing at my shaft in time with his hand. Once I'd got the thing working, I propped it up against an old pizza box that he had lying around, the little red light flashing as it filmed what we were up to.

"How d'ya wanna do this, then?" I asked him, grabbing him by the shoulders.

"Just move against me like you're fucking a girl," he said, "and we'll both make on like we're really loving it!"

I laughed. "Okay. But not too full-on," I reminded him. "Not like last time."

I pulled my dick out a bit, like you do when you're starting to fuck, and the smell from his arse hit me full on.

"Oh Jesus," I muttered to him, working up a slow rhythm. "It fucking stinks doing this!"

"My bum?" he asked, sounding a bit freaked out.

"Yeah," I grunted, still moving in and out and looking down at my rod. "And what's on my knob."

"Sorry, mate," he laughed and then added kind of sheepishly, "maybe I didn't wipe that well."

"You don't have to be sorry," I told him, steadily increasing my pace. "It's fucking well class! Makes it... you know... different from shagging a girl!"

He sniffed the air a few times, his hand getting faster on his cock. "Cor, I see what you mean, Jordan! It stinks proper horny!"

"This must be what it smells like when gay fellas go at it!"

He laughed and really started yanking at his meat. "Aw yeah! It's like well nasty! It's made my dick as hard as fuck!"

He turned back to look up at me and we smirked at each other.

He whispered, still bashing away at his knob, "We're just acting up for the camera, yeah?"

I laughed back at him. "Course we are, mate! Gotta give the lads a good show!"

Reece chuckled, "Yeah, this is gonna be an absolute fucking belter!"

I grabbed him by the hips and fucked him properly. Just like I would screw a girl if I was doing her from behind. Hard and fast; taking long, smooth strokes.

Except there was no way I could tell myself this was anything like shagging a girl. The smell from Reece's arse was always there to remind me of what we were doing and yet at the same time it was making my dick swell so hard it starting to ache. And the sight of his forearm beating away at his cock - knowing that another straight lad could get turned-on from having my knob up his butt made me feel like, 'how fucking sexy must I be?!'

I don't know if that makes sense.

Anyway, next thing Reece was calling out, "Oh God! Yeah! Come on, Jordan! Fuck me hard!"

And by now I couldn't tell if he was just acting up for the camera or whether he really was loving having it up him.

I upped my rhythm: really going for it on his butt; hammering my cock in and out of him so fast that my hips were slapping loudly against his cheeks.

This was so much better than it had been in my bed; wanking off and imagining it was Reece's arsehole sliding up and down my knob. I mean, that had been good but this was totally top shelf.

I'd had no idea that shagging another lad up his dirt-packer would be anything like this. I remember thinking this must be why blokes in prison get a taste for it and want to keep on doing it with other fellas, even when they're back out and have their wives there for them. It was as hot as fuck and I was going to make sure that there was no way it was going to be just a one-off for me too.

But then you know what? Reece went and pulled away from me so that my cock slid out of him with a wet, sloppy fart.

Before I could have a go at him, he turned with that massive hard-on of his pointing up at me and said, "Come on, Jordan, turn round! I want to do you... like we agreed..."

"Do me?" I asked, looking down at how nasty my dick looked from being up his butt.

"Yeah, now it's my turn to pretend to bum you," he said. "I might even pretend to spunk off in your arse."

"Okay," I nodded, not feeling too keen on it but well aware that I'd agreed. "But I get to pretend to spunk off in yours straight after."

He said that I could and we quickly changed positions. Now I had to show him my bare backside and I was thankful that the back of my keks was in a better state than his.

Almost before I'd pulled my trousers down, he had his cock jabbing between my butt-cheeks. His dick was loads wetter than mine: his pisser was dribbling precum like a dodgy tap. The fat head felt slimy as he pushed it into my crack and he laughed at hairy I was back there just like I'd noticed about him.

I bent further over for him, reaching back to open my butt-cheeks for him. I felt like a total bum-boy doing that with another lad but as he'd said, I'd agreed he could have a turn.

"Not too rough, mate," I warned him when I felt his knob-end hot against my hole.

"Just relax, Jordan, and remember to make a show for the camera like I did."

I glanced over at the flashing red light on it, wondering how I'd look doing this. How would the guys in the pub react when they saw me bending over for Reece, shoving my sweaty, hairy arse-crack against another guy's dick? Would they laugh, like Reece said they would, or would they say we'd taken the joke too far and done stuff with each other that was way out of line?

Reece grabbed me by the hips and told me he was going to start working his cock into me.

"Call out stuff and wank your dick off like you're loving it," he said. "Just like I did."