Not another night of going to bed knowing I could never get to sleep with my hard throbbing cock keeping me awake. I just couldn't take it; not again. Next to me she lay there, I could feel myself boiling over in frustration, as she was completely oblivious to my desires.
Years of dissatisfaction and sexual incompatibility, she was driving me crazy with unfulfilled desire. What had ever possessed me to decide to be with her? I knew she was a 'good girl' when we had started along life's path together. And finally my aggravation towards her was now extremely unhealthy for me, and certainly for her too.
I needed release from my sexual hindrances. No more feminine blockages. No more being pussy drip fed. I needed to do something that would take away the lustfulness of my burning sexual desires in a permanent solution. My sexual irritation, that had kept me awake half the nights of my adult life, must surely be solved if I could find a man who matched my unrestrained state of lust.
I had asked myself so many times recently, "what was the point of being married or pretending to be only interested in women if you never have enough sex to feel fulfilled?" How could I have ended up with a wife who simply wanted to be with me, to worship me, and who seemed content to share my bed like friends? How was that possible?
Even as a young child I wasn't asexual -- which is fairly normal anyway. What had possessed me to actually turn my wife into a nuisance to me being satisfied? I had ended up with someone whose very existence stopped me from achieving my true sexual potential as an animal and person. It was wrong of me to be disappointed in her when I contributed to foster the dissatisfaction of our lack of lust, and what was wrong with her to actively participate in an act which was complacently destructive of us?
Like so many before me, I was a middle aged man lost in his discontented desires and seeing myself as a lost soul in life's guide book of restless lustful indulgence. I was too normal or could others see something wrong within me? Defeated by my sex's ineptitude and the random trickiness of females -- I just never could enjoy the 'kiss me but don't touch me there'. My maleness delighted in the maze of my truth. To gratify my true sexual self I knew I needed to get my organic sexual organ buried deep inside some hot flesh and pleasure why senses.
Yes, oh yes, the years of frustration weld up inside me. The anger burnt like a wildfire inside me blinding me to the side of my sexuality that I had so often tried to embellish. Women what was the point of chasing them anymore as they only delivered me frustrating dissatisfaction? It was distorted but it felt like they only wanted to play with your mind and leave my lustful physical needs groping in darkness -- my cock hot and bothered as it withered in discontented distractions of nothingness. What I had so lately come to realize was I really needed something that I had long hidden from myself, and it was an answer that I had long tried to resist. My own desires would no longer be the victim of an unauthorized incarceration instead I would indulgent myself in a gorgeous succulent man who equally shared my passionate joy and sexual yearning!
How could I deny myself? For some time I had been pretending it wasn't me but now I knew it was exactly what I needed and wanted.
I thought about the phone number I had written down and that was now in my pants pocket. I slowly eased myself out of our bed and crept downstairs to find that phone number. I knew she would never miss me! I had taken to sleeping in the bed in our spare room so often these days that she would just assume I was off to my hide-away bed again.
I quickly found the piece of paper with the phone number on it. Then I grabbed my phone and I prepared a text message from the number I had written down yesterday when I was in the Footscray public toilet [at night]. It was a gamble but I was a desperate man. It was so whimsical to send a text message to the man that I had never met before; I was half expecting that I would be left to drink hot chocolate and watching repeats of the world cup soccer matches on SBS that night [rather than getting a response].
Disappointment was not my dance partner this night. Unbelievably, yes, almost immediately I had a response to my message. And he was telling me to meet him in half an hour just outside the Spotswood Railway Station. That wasn't too far away! My yearning for him grew stronger as I knew I'd be seeing him very soon. I was consumed with desire. Try as I might I was only a playful toy who couldn't resist the temptation of rubbing my throbbing cock through my pants, just thinking about what I wanted to do to him.
I went to the cupboard in the spare bedroom. These days most of my clothes were in this room -- well I did use it almost every night these days. Sleep was no longer a friend and I couldn't find sleep unless I played with myself. Thankfully tonight wouldn't be one of those nights where I wouldn't need to give myself 'self satisfaction' because I would be gifted with the live version of my fantasies.
With nothing to foil my plan, I dressed myself in jeans and T shirt. As luck would have it, my bathroom had a door to the outside - it was close to the pool. As I headed out the door I grabbed my keys for the car that were on the kitchen bench. Quietly I let myself out the side gate, and walked out to the front of the house where my car was parked across the road. I opened the car and started the engine. It felt like the blockages to my real life were falling away as I drove away from my prison of unfulfilled desires.
It didn't take me a long time to get to our meeting point. From my intimate knowledge of the area I knew exactly where he would be. I parked next to the station and looked around. And, there he was just looking as I'd expected.
He looked so youthful, probably not much more than 25, but so beautifully slender and full succulent lips. Even just thinking about him was making my cock engorge further and throb.
I pulled up next to him, lowered the window on my driver side, and asked him "are you Trev?"
He smiled at me; that smile had me swooning, and said "yes, but only if you have a big fat cock to fuck my butt with."
