Chapter 2 - Free solo
.
Sat. Feb. 8th, 2020:
I sat in the car and started the engine. Turned on the music, and I felt like a classic today. I was in a melancholic mood and began to drift at the tones.
I turned the wheel, and everything was set into motion. The houses started to blur around me, and now I knew I would not turn left. I am not going to work. I don't feel like working now.
I went straight, and my hands steered the wheel as if on reflex. I knew I would end up there. Every time I drive in a mood like this, I end up on this road.
I discovered it once on accident, and I knew I would return here from the moment I saw it. It led into the suburbs, with one side road heading uphill. It turned and twisted, and I knew by now how little people use it from the state of it.
.
My foot slightly pushed on the pedal, and I felt a rush as my surroundings faded. Everything faded, and the only thing here was the road ahead of me. I knew it now by heart. It felt safe, yet there was this known forbidden rush as the motor was humming. I gently steered the wheel but didn't slow down, it had the effect I knew it would have, and then I sped up again.
Another turn was coming as the violins started to whine more desperately in my speakers, and the piano broke its silence with a heavy roar. I listened to the music and drove to its tune. The rhythm gradually increased, and with it, my foot was closer to the ground of my car.
Sharp turn. My subconscious warned me, but I wondered whether I would listen to it this time. I looked ahead and waited for how the music would decide for me, knowing what was to be expected.
.
The singer began her cry, and at that moment, I stepped on the break, changed the gears with learned precision, and with that, I let my car drift and spin into nothingness, flowing on sharp music inside. I took control as the tones demanded and turned just in time to make it.
I didn't stop to pat myself on the back. Too many times, I had already done this. I just fluently continued further.
I raised my head with a smile and turned to another sideroad ending up in an area with trees around. I knew this place so well by now. I stopped the car in front of an old building. I stepped out, went to my trunk, and took off my clothes.
I stood there naked for a moment letting the cold February air burn my skin before I put clothes on. Long thermal shirt and pants and stretchy slacks with a sweater. I pulled out my climbing shoes and went barefoot to the place.
.
When you climb for a long time, your shoes are a couple of sizes smaller than your regular shoes, so they are for climbing only. I also had sneakers in my trunk, but today I wanted to feel the cold ground.
I stopped under my rock. The grabs were white by now. I used them so much. I've sent this wall so many times that I sometimes didn't use the rope. Bad idea? Dangerous? Sure... I definitely don't advise doing that. It's deadly when one doesn't know what he's doing. But only that made my mind blank enough to concentrate solely on the next step and nothing else on those, thankfully rare, days as this one was.
I appreciated the look of the place above me and put on my shoes.
I turned off my phone but took it with me. I climbed, and every inch higher made me feel better. For the next few minutes, I wallowed in the void, listening slow violoncello in my ears.
.
I sat on the ledge and stared at the view above the trees. Then, after a little while, I took out my phone and called Daniel.
"Hi, buddy."
"Hi."
"You up there again?"
"Yeah." I suppose the wind betrayed me. Daniel knew me too well.
"How was it?"
"We made up and talked about it. She is sorry. She hoped she wouldn't ever have to deal with this again."
"Is it that bad?"
"I don't know. There is so much resentment that is brutal. I mean, honestly, with everything she told me about her family, it's hard for me as I genuinely think Rick has the right to act hurt, but she doesn't want to see it. It's not my business."
"So he's cool?"
"No, not really. I mean, he seems to be, but when those two meet, he's really a dick."
"Maybe they just need some time together."
"Maybe."
"How was the night?"
I sighed. "I didn't slow down at the turn."
Daniel was quiet. "Do you want me to come?"
"No, enjoy your family weekend."
"Gee, thanks, it's amazing here..."
"That bad?"
"I hate being a father sometimes."
"I am sorry."
"It's fine. Everyone says it's only a phase, I keep hoping, but it's slowly taking a toll on our relationship."
"With Susan?"
"Yeah... But you dodged the question. How was the night?"
I lay down on the cold stone and sighed. "As usual, I woke up about three times, and each one was worse. It was a stressful day yesterday."
"Wanna talk about it?"
"No, will you make me?"
"No..."
"Make me, Daniel, please," I whispered desperately.
"Then tell me, Nate."
"I gave Luke the keys, and Matt sat in the passenger seat. They started the car, and then I realized that you were there with Blake in your arms. I wanted to stop you and banged on the hood, but the car drove away. Then I ran behind you and screamed when it started spinning and fell off the cliff. The rest was a gore image of you as I tried to get you all from there."
"Damn... I am sorry, buddy."
"It's fine... Somehow I really think I am getting used to it."
"Did you talk with Megan about it?"
"No. I will meet her Wednesday."
"Good."
"What's ahead of you, buddy?"
"Trees and wind."
