Chapter 18 - I want to try it!
It was close to midnight when I returned. I went into the shower and thought about Nate. I don't know what I want, do I...
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Nate knocked on the door and stepped in.
"I heard you came back. Can I come in?"
I don't know why, but the corners of my mouth raised in a weird reflex, and I had to smile seeing him. I opened the screen and pulled him into the shower. He smiled, even though he seemed a little unsure but stepped in, embracing me.
Finally, my mind calmed down, and warm bliss covered my dark thoughts. I held him close, just feeling him next to me. Watching his eyes look at my naked body and then look at me. I kissed him at last. I was home. I was happy. I was calm. Maybe I have only those few minutes and hours of peace. Perhaps I am crazy, and nothing matters now. I needed to feel good, even if only for these short moments.
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Nate stepped under the water stream as I naturally connected my lips with his. I felt like, after the storm, I fell into the warmth of home. I don't know why. I had never experienced such a high after such emotional turmoil, but I didn't care at that moment.
I didn't want to talk, sort anything out or think. The only thing I needed at the moment was kissing his lips and having his body close to me. I took his hands and held them together in front of my chest, looking into his eyes. I raised them, joined at wrists, and put them over my head. It was nearly like an out-of-body experience... just kissing this man, feeling his body getting wet, and caressing his skin. I needed him like this forever. I didn't care how it seemed. I just was enjoying the present moment.
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I trailed his forearms down and leaned again to his mouth. We kissed intently and gently as if everything around us disappeared and only water and the two of us remained. I raised Nate's shirt, and my hands glided on his muscle. My ears vibrated as I heard his moans, and I thought if he weren't my size, I would take him in my arms and carry him to my bed.
Fuck it! I took off his shirt and pants with underwear while still kissing him. I then turned off the shower and looked at him as I held his glutes tightly, raising him off the ground.
"Richard!" he exclaimed in shock as I stepped out of the shower on the mat with him in my arms. He held me around the shoulders and crossed his ankles behind my back. He seemed worried, but I saw in his dazed eyes that he liked it. I stood there for a moment, composing myself.
"Kiss me, baby."
He blinked twice, then lowered his head to mine and kissed me. He was heavy, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. My mind surrendered to my heart, and I wouldn't let this moment waste. Who knows what doubt tomorrow will bring?
.
I carried Nate to my bed and sat with him like that on its edge. I took his face into my hands and brought him to me again, kissing him slowly while his wet hair dripped on my shoulder. He looked at me like he wanted to say something. Nate looked so peaceful, yet emotional. He looked like the most beautiful being I have seen in my life.
I laid him down on the bed. And covered his body with mine. I brushed a few wet hairs off his face and kissed the place on his skin they left. I kissed his eyelids, closing them like that before I kissed his swollen lips again. We made out like this for minutes, our hands roaming our bodies like they had a deficit of touch. I took his stiff shaft in my hands and stroked it. As I kissed my way down his body, he was shaking beneath me and moaned so sweetly I thought we were in heaven. I loved the taste of his body, the smoothness and toughness, and his smell!
I engulfed him, and he spread his legs in reflex, combing my hair with his fingers. I loved how sweet he tasted when I licked the precum out of his slit.
.
He raised his legs slightly, and I licked my way to his balls, wallowing them gently in my mouth. He looked at me, and when I spread his legs further, he started shaking with anticipation. I looked into his eyes with a gentle smile and lowered myself to his rosebud. I flicked my tongue on it several times before I sucked it and started to feast on it. He exhaled, still watching me with glossy eyes and parted lips. His hair was disheveled. Nate growled with that deep voice of his when I put one finger in and started to enter the second, moving toward his button.
"Richard." I don't know if it was just a moan or if he wanted to say something, but at that moment, I rubbed his button slowly, and he leaned his head backward in a sharp exhale. His belly fluttered, and his cock leaked and twitched. I reached his face and kissed his cheek, traveling to his ear and licking it. Then down onto his neck and shoulder as I heard his trembling moans beneath me. His hands were caressing my pecks and back, occasionally stopping and holding me tight.
.
I lay in between his legs and pointed my cock to his entrance. I couldn't take much more. I must have looked like a man possessed because, at that moment, I felt like I loved every atom of his being. Everything seemed just perfect, his loving eyes looking at me, his body surrendering to mine so naturally. As I kissed him, I pushed slowly into him, spreading him open under me, shaking and moaning.
"Let me in, baby." I brushed my nose on his. He smiled and pushed against me, inviting me inside.
"It's yours, baby," Nate replied and raised his knees on my back, pulling me closer before kissing me.
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I started to move, and he squeezed his glutes so good I had to stop. Shaking in ecstasy, I willed myself not to cum and slowed the tempo. His moans in my ears, his tongue in my mouth. We came like this to the absolute edge and fell together into each other. We danced and moved in synch, kissing and caressing each other until I felt his ass spasming around my cock, and his balls were tight. I moved in a way I was directly brushing his prostate, and his moves became erratic. His moans were so loud I wasn't sure my mouth covering his would be enough. Finally, he grasped at my elbows and, in his last breath, said, looking at me.
"Baby, I am cumming!" The tightness and the view were too much for me too. I kissed his lips and came into him while shaking and moaning into his mouth.
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We lay there for a good while. My entire weight was on top of him, and his fingers gently traveled my back. I could stay like this. I felt his lips on my neck and traveling to my cheek. I turned to him, and we kissed.
He shifted his weight and rolled me, so he was on top of me. He licked my torso and all his cum from it with a wicked grin. I watched him satisfied and let him feast on my skin down to my cock. I hummed in pleasure, and when he sat on his knees, I returned the favor, licking him clean. Then I brought my lips to his, and as he was about to kiss me, I put my armpit to his nose. He growled and looked at me with a wild smile. He licked it clean and went to the other. Then with a grin, he sat on me and kissed me deeply while holding my head with both hands.
"How many personalities do you have, Richard? "
"I don't know," I sighed and hugged him tightly. "I feel like I am hitting puberty again. Everything I feel in the moment is like it's heightened somehow."
He nodded, "I think I know what you mean."
We lay on the bed facing each other. I took Nate's hand and entwined our fingers together, playing with them and absentmindedly kissing each of his. He let me and just watched me with a dreamy smile.
"So, are we in a relationship now?"
"I don't know, Nate, but I sure wish we could be." I looked at him and pulled him closer, brushing his forehead against mine before I kissed him again.
We lay there in silence. Exhausted, but I wasn't sleepy at all. I wanted to just lay here like this.
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"I was with Cor and Ben. Cortney said she knows about you.
"What do you mean?"
"Her ex was Mary Jenkins."
He got into his calm stone face again. I haven't seen him like that for weeks.
"What has she told you?"
"She told me it's not her place to say anything, just that she believes you are not a person who would hurt someone intentionally, and she trusts you."
He looked like he was fighting tears. I sat looking at him. What the heck is going on? I am not a person who tends to pry into others' business, but this started to really interest me.
"Are you ok, Nate?"
"Yeah, sure. Thank you for telling me."
What the fuck? What is he thanking me for?
"Richard. I am not ready to talk about that with you."
"I am not saying you have to."
"I know."
"Would you be upset if she told me?"
"Has she?"
"No. I told you, but if she would?"
"I don't know how I would react, Richard. I am thankful she left that to me."
"Is it that bad?"
He looked at me with a kind but resolute look. I knew he wouldn't tell me anything more. Now I was really invested. What could it be?
.
His face slowly leaned closer until his lips brushed mine, pulling me out of the daze.
"It was long ago, and I haven't told anyone about it since. It's not because of you. It's just hard for me to think about and nearly unbearable to talk about."
"You haven't told even Ash?"
He shook his head in negative.
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