James just didn't know what to do. He never looked away at the two-story house standing in front of him. He didn't leave the sidewalk. He just tried to make a decision in his head. But it proved to be difficult. The eighteen-year-old man knew that he had to do something. It would be a relief to just be honest. But then again, he had to imagine the people he had grown to admire experiencing direct alienation. His true feelings would have made anyone question his personal preferences. And that was why he didn't know how to end this inner conflict.
The summer heat started to make him uncomfortable. After a blistering heat wave over the weekend, the temperatures did cool down slightly. The residents of Rialto, as well as everyone else living in Southern California, finally had the opportunity to be a little more productive outside. Still, the late afternoon included the setting sun forcing James to feel thirsty. The warm breeze that came down from the San Gabriel Mountains only made it worse. James only wore a white tank top and a pair of brown cargo shorts. Despite his minimal apparel, the heat didn't change. The young Native-American man had to do something. He couldn't just stand there on the sidewalk like a lunatic waiting to be fried by nature. He finally managed to walk forward. He had to take a deep breath in order to calm himself. As soon as he reached the front porch, he rang the doorbell and waited for a response.
James kept his long black hair behind his back. For quite some time, he let it grow all the way down to the bottom of his chest. Irene, his girlfriend, said it made him look like a character on the front cover of a romantic novel. At first, James laughed at the notion. And now, he wished it was possible. So long that her father would be able to see it.
The front door opened. James held his breath. Rodney stood just a few feet in front of him.
"Hi, James. What's going on?"
James couldn't help but take a good look at his girlfriend's father. At the age of forty-one, Rodney was a tall and handsome white man. He had short brown hair and brawny arms. He was several inches taller than James, making it more of an attractive characteristic to the latter. Today, Rodney wore a black t-shirt and a pair of black denim jeans. James could feel the cool air from inside the house making a steady exit out the door. James longed for some first-class air conditioning. He also longed for something else in the house.
James almost had trouble speaking. "I, uh...I just wanted to see if Irene is here."
Rodney replied, "No, she went out with her little sister. They're probably at the mall right now."
That almost made James feel a little more relieved. "So you're all alone in the house?"
"Well, my wife is hanging out with her colleagues from work. I have the house to myself."
James tried to smile, but he could only fake it before giving up. "Can I come in?"
Rodney didn't seem to suspect a thing. "Sure."
He let the young man in the house.
The air conditioner did manage to cool James down in terms of both inside and out. "I'm thirsty. You don't mind if I get a drink of water, do you?"
Rodney smiled. "No, not at all. There are some water bottles in the fridge."
"Thanks."
James didn't say another word. He headed for the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door. Just as he pulled out a cold water bottle and opened the lid, he took his time keeping his composure at a high altitude. He dreaded the result of his honesty, but he desired at least some sort of closure for what he had been really feeling all this time. He took a long sip of water. The cold liquid made a sensational descent down his throat. It calmed his nerves. He closed his eyes for a brief moment. He and Irene had been together for approximately two months now. He loved her, but there was a catch. And this was when he couldn't suppress his true feelings any longer. He didn't feel comfortable saying it to his eighteen-year-old girlfriend. He had to go straight to the source of his corrupted psyche.
He almost didn't realize that Rodney had entered the kitchen. "Are you okay?"
This time, James didn't have to fake a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just have a lot of things on my mind right now."
"Like what?"
James was afraid of this. "Well...let's talk about it later. Maybe thirsty minutes later. I need time to relax."
"Sure. Take as much time as you want. But just let me know if you want to get something off your chest. I'll be here. But first, I'll be taking a quick shower."
James nodded as Rodney left the kitchen with his own cold and unopened water bottle. The younger man stood alone near the graphite counter. He slowly rubbed his fingers against his own water bottle. He began to shiver, and it had nothing to do with the air conditioning. The silence in the kitchen had grown deafening. James couldn't stop thinking about his girlfriend. Irene stood by his side ever since they met in the middle of May. They never stopped seeing each other. In a literal sense, people would have to use a crowbar to pry them apart. Then came the visit to her house. James met Rodney two weeks ago. One look at Irene's father, and he felt intrigued. At first, it didn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary. He respected Rodney for being a good husband to his wife, Donna. He respected Rodney for being a good father to Irene. He respected him for his mild manners and unshakable work ethic. Rodney appeared to be an excellent man all around.
Then, strange feelings interrupted James's mental flow. He started to question why he couldn't stop thinking of Rodney in a naughtier sense. Irene had been replaced in his daydreams. Now, Rodney took her place. It felt so strange, knowing that this would be the first time he had ever fantasized about another man. He cursed himself for losing control of his natural senses. This wouldn't have happened if he never met Irene's parents in the first place.
James slid his fingers across his long black hair. He checked the time on his smartphone. Five minutes had passed since he entered this house. Rodney would be ending his shower by now. Now would be the time to tell the truth to Rodney. He waited for this moment, even if he dreaded the consequences. James set his water bottle aside and left the kitchen. He walked up the stairs and made it to the master bedroom. The door was partially opened, but James could hear the water running. The constant splashing noises in the tub made it clear that Rodney still lurked in the bathroom.
James slid right between the partially open door and examined the master bedroom. It held a clean and lavish appearance, one that represented an ordinary yet prosperous middle-class environment. James took seat on the edge of the king-sized bed. He waited for Rodney to finish showering. The water suddenly turned off, and the shower curtains made a faint swooping noise. James held his breath as he dug his fingers deep into the mattress. He had never felt so nervous. The bathroom door opened, and Rodney appeared with a towel wrapped around his waist. That turned out to be the only thing that he wore at the moment. Rodney was still drenched in water drops from his head to his feet. This sort of spectacle made James question his personal preferences even more.
Rodney looked surprised when he saw James in the room. "Is there something wrong?"
James didn't move. With his eyes wide open, he remained awestruck by this beautiful creature. "I just want to see you like this."
