I became a cock sucking fag pt. 16.
Over the next week, my text conversations with Christian continued. Most of our conversations revolved around our work, likes and dislikes, interests, passions, and hobbies. But we hadn't crossed the line of asking who we had or were currently dating. I didn't want to be forward and ask him if he was gay, but I was also very curious.
Most of our conversations seemed benign and were, in essence, getting to know one another. But, at times, I felt we were about to breach the discussion of relationships or sexuality, but then I think we both refrained. Perhaps he was just as concerned or scared to ask me as I was to ask him. I took comfort in knowing he was still texting me and we were communicating. Accepting that I was becoming more interested in him was very sensual and warming. Although I hadn't seen him since I was at the E.R., I could still imagine what he looked like and how he smiled.
It was wild for me to experience just how giddy he made me feel inside. Every text from him made me excited to receive it--something I never had before with a man. I was attracted to John; sure, I was. But I think a lot of that attraction was because I knew he was gay. I knew he had led that different lifestyle. As much as I was interested in him, looking back now, I have no doubt my attraction and desire for something between was because he was gay, and I wanted dick. I wanted that experience. I needed to feel what it was like to kiss a man. To feel his cock between his legs and to be in that form of a relationship.
If John had been single and we would have started dating, I don't know if it would have played out the way it did. Compared to what I was feeling about my developing interest in Christian. As I said in my previous story, I got nervous and giddy when I met him. Now that we had been texting more and more and getting to know one another, my desire to see him again increased. And I had to know.
Mustering the courage one night, I finally decided it was time to ask, so I wrote, "I don't think I ever asked you, are you married? Or dating anyone? Do you have a girlfriend or boyfriend?"
It seemed like an eternity as I awaited his response. I could see the words "typing" on my screen as I looked at the chain of text messages between us. Finally, it arrived. He wrote, "Nope, never married. I am not dating anyone right now, but I am gay, just so you know. What about you?"
My heart leapt reading that. I genuinely believe I read it three or four times to ensure I understood it correctly. But then, a big load of anxiety hit me. How do I answer this? I knew I wasn't completely gay, but I was heading that way. But I also wasn't straight either. I mean, I had slept with a lot of women, but I had just spent 6 months sucking dick and getting fucked. So... how do I answer that?
After a few minutes of contemplating, I figured the best way I could answer it was to write, "I consider myself Bi-Sexual, but I lean more toward men than women. I am a late bloomer when it comes to homosexuality, but I think I like it better."
I immediately followed up with, "So, men, more than anything."
Christian and I continued the texting that night, briefly discussing our sexuality more, not in the sense of names or how many lovers we've had, but just further accepting, and perhaps admitting, who we were and what we both liked. But now it was time for the big question.
I swallowed my fear and wrote, "I have enjoyed talking to you and getting to know you more. I'd love to see you again; maybe we can meet for dinner one night soon."
His reply, rather quickly this time was, "I'd love that."
We set plans in motion, and a few days later, we met for dinner halfway between us at one of those trendy chain restaurants. I was so nervous yet so excited to see him. After we sat and began talking, eating, and having a good time together, the nervousness started to wear off. I felt we had a wonderful time and I was even more comfortable around him. By the end of that first date, I was more confident in my attraction toward him and, indeed, more attracted to him than I had been before. Date one led to date two, then date three. But by date 4, I knew there would be something between us.
Our text messaging increased between our meetings. The things we talked about exposed ourselves more and intensified, and before long, he asked me when we could meet again. We planned our fourth date and met for a nice dinner. This is when I believed we both fell for each other. Throughout that evening, the fears and apprehensions were gone, and all those uncomfortable - first-date - concerns had passed. We had a few weeks of talking, and now we were more relaxed and friendly, and I have no doubt we were surely more interested in each other.
When we finished eating, I didn't want the night to end. We ate at a restaurant along the boardwalk by the Ocean, and I suggested we walk the pier and hang out a bit. Christian was willing to do that, and as we walked and talked, the sun began setting. I realize you all might be thinking how convenient it is that you dined by the ocean, were walking a pier, and the sun was setting. But I assure you when I say he planned this meeting, and even though I had suggested the walk, the rest was his doing.
When we reached the end of the pier, we stood leaning up against the railing, taking and enjoying looking out at the water. His right hand rested next to mine when I felt his pinky touch my pinky. It wasn't long after our fingers touched, and we held hands. As we were heading back to the parking lot, I stopped under a lightly lit, 10-foot lamp next to a bench. I leaned my back against the wooden rail and pulled Christian towards me. It was something like a movie, and I know I sounded facetious in saying that, but we held face-to-face for a few seconds. The only sounds were the people out on the pier in the distance and the waves rolling up on shore. He edged in closer, and we had our first kiss.
I was excited by it but also panicked, considering he was the first man I had ever kissed in public. We weren't the first men to kiss on a pier, but it was a first for me. Christian's kiss was so soft, deep, and tantalizing. As much as his mouth was slightly bigger than mine, his lips felt as if they had encompassed my whole mouth. We stood tightly pinned as this first kiss was lengthy and slow. Yet erotic and passionate. After we broke from our kiss, he smiled so big and brightly at me as I whispered, "I have wanted to do that for so long now."
We walked hand in hand back to the parking lot, basking in the warmth of both of us realizing we were interested in each other and having had our first kiss.
Christian had parked closer to the entrance than I had, but our cars were in the far south aisle, backed up against a wooden nature preserve.
