I Tae Thee Itten

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Author's note:

This is the conclusion to the story of Jack and Bryan, which began in Stray Kitten and continued in House Cat.

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One thing I've discovered over the years is that no matter how old I get, no matter how mature and confident and comfortable in my own skin I'd like to believe I've become, my nerves still have a way of making it feel like I'm back at square one.

Anxiety had always been an issue with me, but being with Bryan for so long had helped with that. So why was I so nervous?

My boyfriend and I were out for dinner on Valentine's Day. It was one of the fanciest restaurants we've ever been to. Even without the lockdowns from COVID-19 we wouldn't normally go to a place like this, but I wanted tonight to be special.

I wanted this night to be a good one.

I looked at my boyfriend and told myself for the thousandth time to relax. I knew him well enough to know that even if he acts high-maintenance, he's not that picky about dates. He'll have a good time as long as we're together.

Despite my nerves easing a little bit, I still found myself subtly touching the bump in my jacket pocket multiple times, just to make sure it was still there.

We talked, we laughed, we fed off of the other's energy. Conversation was easy for us now. It was comfortable.

At last the check was back and we were ready to leave. It was time.

"Kitten, can you do me a favor?"

Bryan cocked an eyebrow. "Depends on the favor. Some things will definitely have to wait until we get home," he teased, eyes glimmering naughtily.

"It's not that. It's something serious."

"What is it, Jack?"

I took a deep breath in and out.

"Can you please close your eyes for a little bit? You can open them when I tell you."

He looked a little apprehensive.

"Okay."

He shut his eyes and I stood up. Walking over to stand next to his chair, I reached into my pocket and pulled out what I'd been hyper-aware of the entire night. I got down on one knee.

"You can open your eyes."

He did so and when he saw me he covered his mouth in surprise.

"Bryan Gardener, I love you. We've been through so much together, and we've come out of it stronger. The two of us make each other better people. There isn't a day that goes by when I'm not thankful for that."

I saw his eyes get shiny.

"I want to be yours forever. I want you to be mine forever. I love you with all my heart."

I opened the little box I was holding, revealing a ring.

"Will you marry me?"

I have no idea how long the following pause was. It could have lasted one second or twenty minutes, I don't remember. At that moment, the world was silent.

When I realized I loved him, I had made the mistake of saying so too soon in our relationship. We had only been together for about two months. He wasn't ready to say it back to me for a while.

Now, I knew I had waited long enough. We got together in fall 2017, and it was in early 2020 that I seriously started considering asking him to marry me. We'd already been living together for years, he had even inspired me to become a Christian like he was. Marriage seemed like the right step to take next. Then the pandemic happened and those thoughts had to be put on hold. With everything that happened in 2020 it never seemed like the right time. But now it was almost a full year later. We had survived lockdown together, so I felt like we could make it through anything. I still had a job and he was right on track to graduate from college this year. We were on the cusp of a new chapter. Everything was in its place. The only thing that would stop me now was fear, but I wanted to be brave.

I saw a million emotions flash through him, some I could identify and some I couldn't. More tears pooled up in my love's eyes, some spilling out. Eventually he took a deep breath.

"Wow, this...this is..." It was rare to see him at such a loss for words. His usual cockiness was stripped away completely.

"I'm not really sure what to say."

I gave him a deadpan look.

"Well, normally in this sort of situation, when asked a question, you're supposed to answer. Say yes if you want to marry me and say no if you want things to stay as they are now. Seems pretty simple."

My teasing brought a shaky smile to his face. "You're a dick sometimes, you know that?"

"I'm the one asking the questions tonight, kitty. Don't change the subject."

The whole "kitten" part of our relationship was definitely unusual, but from the beginning we both found comfort in those roles. It was always a way to make things seem not so serious.

"I'm sorry, sir, this is just a lot to take in."

He wiped his eyes and seemed to collect himself a bit.

"I won't lie, both options are appealing. I like the idea of things staying the same between us, but getting married sounds...nice. Really nice. Are you sure about this, Jack?"

I smiled a bit. "I already told you that I'm asking the questions here. Do you have an answer for me?"

He ran his hand through his hair.

"I love you, Jack." He wiped some tears. "I...Yes. I do."

In one motion I sprang to my feet and wrapped my arms around him. My years of playing football were behind me, but it was still easy to lift Bryan clear off the ground. I took him in a searing kiss, a kiss he returned without hesitation. When it was done I squeezed my now fiancé like he was going to be taken away from me.

"I love you so much, baby," I whispered.

"Same here, but I can't breathe. Put me down."

"I think I need this for a few more seconds."

"Ugh, fine."

I counted to three before releasing my grip. With shaking hands, I put the ring on his finger. It was white-gold and the jewel in the middle was citrine, his birthstone. The ring matched his fair skin, his hazel eyes and blond hair. It looked like it was made for him.

"That looks good on you, Bryan."

He held out his hand and examined it.

"You really think so?"

I nodded, then leaned in really close and whispered in his ear.

"I want to see you wearing just that ring and nothing else. Let's get out of here, Kitten."

He purred.

"Yes, sir."

*****

As always, it took me a moment to register that I was in fact being woken up, and another to register that it was because my alarm was making a noise. I fumbled with my phone for a minute, as always snoozing initially because I didn't trust myself, especially on Monday mornings.

Once that was done, I returned to the spooning position with my boyfriend (

fiancé,

I reminded myself). He and I had raucous sex for hours last night to celebrate our engagement, me even letting him top for a bit, which didn't happen often. I felt a little sore, making me impressed that he did this on a regular basis and enjoyed it as much as he did. I felt way more at home in the position we were currently in, my soft dick resting in the delightful pillow of his ass.

I reached for his left hand and held it in mine. I felt the ring on his finger. This boy, this man, this person would soon be bound to me in a completely new way.

I zoned out for a bit, holding my lover, until I heard the alarm again. It was time to get moving.

Bryan is a pretty heavy sleeper and not a morning person, so I was normally the one who had to wake him up. I shook him until he started to stir.

"Wake up, kitty."

He grunted.

"You have online class in twenty minutes."

He grunted louder.

"Be a good pussycat and I'll give you all the milk you want later."

Bryan gave the best head of anyone I'd ever been with by a landslide, but he seemed to love the experience of blowing me as much as I did. My kitten yawned and stretched before turning around in my arms.

"You better mean that."

I touched my nose to his.

"You know I do, babe."

We kissed and eventually sat up in bed. Bryan cracked his knuckles and stopped for a moment when he felt the ring.

"Shit, that really did happen last night. We're actually getting married."

"Yep, but it's not as simple as all that. I have no clue where to even start when it comes to planning a wedding. You'll have to help a lot." I remember him saying how he played a minor role in planning the wedding of his older brother Duncan.

"Yeah, I thought as much. I guess I owe you for such a nice ring."

"I was kind of hoping you'd be motivated by more than vague obligation."

"It's too early for motivation. Give me an hour at least."

I laughed and patted his perfect butt.

"Let's get going."

We both got out of bed to begin our day.

*****

The two of us got into a new routine. I would continue working at home, he would continue his online classes, but now he had something else to do in his free time.

Bryan more or less took the reins when it came to planning our wedding. He talked to me about it all the time and always made sure we agreed on the big things, but most of the details I was fine leaving up to him. He was pretty laid-back most times, but when he really put his mind to something he stuck through to the very end. He was the one who threw me a party to celebrate college. He was the one who dropped everything and drove fourteen hours to support his sister-in-law when she gave birth.

It was interesting watching the whole concept come together. Bryan was fully, flamboyantly gay, but his childhood in a small, conservative town shaped his personality and values. I would describe him as a neo-traditionalist, and that came through in his ideas for the wedding.

"I want to play the role of the bride. I want to wear white."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Me and Devon have a great idea for my outfit." Devon was one of Bryan's best friends. She was in the same year as him and had dreams of being a fashion designer.

"What do I wear?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, just try to look presentable. Most of the attention will be on me, but you'll definitely be in some of the pictures."

I rolled my eyes.

The two of us decided on a spring wedding. We settled on May 17

th

, which lined up nicely because that meant my birthday party and my bachelor party would happen on the same night. Bryan would have graduated earlier that month, so once the wedding was done we would just work from there. It would also be relatively small, with a couple dozen people attending.

Bryan had a much bigger extended family than I did, so we decided to have the wedding in Corpus Christi, not far from his hometown. But that meant going to the wedding would be much more of a commitment to my friends and family here in Colorado.

Thankfully, everyone I invited was more than happy to head down to Texas and support us. My parents, my old college buddies, my new friends from work, they were all so happy for me.

I was actually more anxious about Bryan. He was openly gay and came from a traditionally Christian family. But it seemed like all the people he wanted to come to the wedding agreed, willing to support him even if they weren't really on the same page about his lifestyle.

In fact, there was only one roadblock involving one of his relatives, and it was the last one I ever expected.

It was a few days after Bryan made the engagement public on Facebook that he knocked on my door. We did live together, but since I started working from home I sort of sanctioned a room as my study, a place where I could be alone while working. He usually respected that, so whatever was going on must have been serious.

When he walked in I was concerned immediately. I had never seen him so freaked out before.

"Babe, what's going on? What's wrong?"

I stood up and put my hands on his shoulders.

"Talk to me."

He blinked a few times before snapping out of it and answering.

"I...I just got a call."

"Yeah, and?"

He swallowed.

"It was from my father."

*****

I looked around the tiny little airport Burger King. As is usual with airports, nobody looked like they wanted to be there. Neither did the two of us, but we had a different reason for that.

"This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy..." Bryan muttered under his breath. I was holding his hand under the table and gave it a reassuring squeeze. I did agree with him, though. "Crazy" was a great word to describe what was happening.

Bryan's father had always been a taboo subject. Nobody in his family talked about him and I never asked. All I knew was that he and his mom got divorced when Bryan was a little kid. I never even knew his name. But now he reaches out all of a sudden and wants to talk to his son after being gone for twenty years?

Apparently the man in question was named Percy Tinnesz, and was traveling for business with a layover in Denver. He saw Bryan's post about his engagement and asked to meet at one of the airport's restaurants. There wasn't even the pretense of getting lunch.

I'm not really sure why Bryan agreed, seeing how nervous he was about it. He even asked me to come along for support, which isn't like him at all.

Eventually, I heard a sharp intake of breath from my fiancé. I followed his gaze and saw what he was looking at immediately.

A man who was unmistakably Bryan's father was approaching. He had a taller, slimmer build, but his hair was blond and his face shape was just like Bryan's. When he got closer I saw the same hazel eyes as well. He took off his mask and put on a weak smile.

"Hey, Bryan. It's nice to see you again."

I heard him make a little

gulp

sound.

"H-hello, Percy," he said, trying to sound impersonal and formal.

The man pursed his lips just like Bryan when he heard that. He then turned to me.

"You must be Jack. Good to meet you."

I nodded, but didn't say anything.

Percy sat down and sort of looked back and forth between the two of us. I felt the need to break the awkward silence.

"Is there any particular reason why you reached out?"

He sighed a bit before answering.

"I heard about you two getting engaged. I wanted to use this opportunity to congratulate you."

"And what gives you the right?" Bryan went from stone cold to upset right away. "You abandon us for twenty years and now you think you can just pop in like nothing happened?"

"I didn't abandon you, our divorce was mutual," Percy said curtly.

"Give me a break, you fucking cheated on Mom! Go to hell!"

"Babe, take it down a notch," I told him, wanting to stop things from escalating further. But at the same time what I just heard really sank in.

Bryan's father had cheated? Damn, no wonder everyone else in the family saw him as a villain. He just had his second kid with his wife and he goes out and has an affair? Wendy Gardener was one of the nicest people I'd ever met. I was starting to get mad myself.

Percy winced again and looked down.

"Who told you?"

"Duncan."

He sighed. "I knew you would find out eventually, even if Wendy never spoke my name again."

He leaned forward. It occurred to me that he looked tired, defeated.

"It's true. I have no excuse for it. So before anything else I want to apologize. Wendy's not the only one I hurt. I'm sorry for what I did. You don't have to forgive me, I just want you to know."

"Good, because I don't forgive you," Bryan retorted.

Percy looked like he wanted to snap right back at his son, but took a deep breath before continuing.

"You don't have to accept my apology. You don't have to love me or even like me. Just please listen for a bit."

My fiancé leaned back a little. He didn't say anything.

"I've started a new family since I left yours. I want to make up for how badly I failed the first time around. I have a new wife and three beautiful children. But that doesn't mean I don't care about you anymore. You're my flesh and blood. I want you to have a happy life, with or without me."

I saw Bryan clench his jaw a bit. A lack of tact was another similarity between the two, it seemed.

"I did the same thing when Duncan got engaged. I'm sure he never told you, though. I apologized for what I did and told him that I was proud of him. And I'm so proud of you too, Bryan."

I'm sure Bryan would rather get a punch in the face than Percy's adulation.

"This isn't me trying to start a new chapter between us, this is me ending the story altogether. I fucked up in a way I can't fix. But I at least wanted to end our relationship on my terms."

Bryan finally spoke.

"You're a selfish prick. This whole thing isn't for me, it's for you. You just want to feel better about yourself."

"Can you fucking blame me?" For the first time Percy got emotional. "I've been a bad word to my kids for decades. I want you to know that I've changed since then. Hate me if you want, but hate

me

, not the evil heartbreaker version of me you created in your mind over the years. Don't I get that much?"

I saw my fiancé's anger fade and turn into sadness. His eyes got teary.

"I can't forgive you. No, scratch that, I don't want to. I don't even know you, Percy," he said, putting just a touch of emphasis on his father's first name. "But don't act like I think about you every day. You're not important enough for that."

I think he realized he was being vindictive and took a pause before saying more.

"It doesn't really matter to me if you're proud of me or not. If that's all you wanted to say, fine. Have a nice life."

I'm sure he meant that to be cutting, but there was a hint of sincerity to it, and Percy noticed. He shed a couple tears of his own and stood up.

"Goodbye, Bryan. I love you, and I'm proud of what you've become."

He turned around to leave, but his son stopped him.

"Wait."

Percy stopped and turned to face us again.

"Goodbye."

Just one word, but it carried so much weight when Bryan said it. I heard so much pain in that word, but that goodbye was something I knew Bryan would regret leaving unsaid.

Percy didn't say anything else. He just nodded before turning around and walking away. I knew that neither of us would ever see Percy Tinnesz again.

Bryan started crying in earnest and I comforted him as best as I could. When he brought himself down a little I said what was on my mind.

"That took courage, Bryan. I'm proud of you."

He smiled wanly.

"Thanks."

I gave him a kiss.

"You ready to go?"

"Yeah, I think I am."

We left.

*****

Life went on and we continued preparing for our wedding ceremony, and holy shit was there a lot to prepare for. Booking a sanctuary, catering, hotels, photographers, decorations, it never seemed to end. It wasn't just time-consuming, it was expensive. Both of us had to ask our parents to loan us money. I remembered the one wedding I had ever been to, how I just sort of went and had a good time and left. I was so naïve back then.

As much work as I put in, Bryan shouldered even more responsibility. Aside from his final semester of college and planning a wedding, he took up working out again, saying he wanted to look good on his big day. His schedule was always jam packed, and despite me voicing my concerns he never seemed to take a break.

It was the Saturday afternoon two weeks before the ceremony that everything came to a head for him. He got a call and found out that our florist cancelled. I don't even remember what reason she gave, she just cancelled. I was expecting Bryan to get pissed off, but he broke down crying. I ran up to him and hugged him tightly.

"It's okay."

"No it fucking isn't! Now I have to find another florist, like I didn't have enough to do already!"

"We don't need a florist, babe. It's fine."

"Well, I

want

a florist, okay? I don't know jack shit about flowers, do you? Let me go, I need to start looking."

"No."

There was a pause.

"What do you mean, no?"

"I mean you're not doing more wedding shit today. I'm putting my foot down."

"Don't tell me what to do, Jack. Let go."

"Absolutely not. You're taking a break and that's final."