Identity

My apologies for the delay in writing. Was swamped with work and it took a very polite wake-up call from a reader to stop procrastinating. Hope you guys like it. P.s. This work is pure fiction. Practice safe sex, kids. ;)

*****

"Want something to eat?"

"No."

"Want some

ocha

?"

"No."

"Want to talk about whatever's bugging the shit outta you?"

I looked up at Chet, the man I was supposedly in love with. "No."

I ran a hand through my dyed-blonde locks as I struggled for words. After a moment's hesitation, I nodded. "I think so. But I want some questions answered."

He looked pensive as he took a seat beside me on the leather couch. "Ask away, but there are some things that I can't comment on." He shrugged at my indignant glare. "Shoot."

"Fine. I want to know why you never bothered to fucking tell me that we used to date." I had the deepest satisfaction of watching him whirl his head around to stare at me, beautiful lips slightly parted in shock.

After regaining composure, Chet asked, "How did you remember? Wait. I guess I answered my own question." He glanced at me from under long eyelashes. "You...remembered?"

I snorted indelicately at him. "No, my fairy godmother told me that I was a fucking homo. Of course I fucking remembered!"

He arched a brow at my profanity but didn't comment on it. Thank God he didn't because I was

this

close to losing it.

"What exactly do you remember? How much?" I noticed that Chet phrased this question with extra caution.

Pissed, I stood up to hover over him and gripped the front of his pale blue T-shirt with my fists, pressing the back of his head hard against the sofa. "No, Chet. I want

you

to tell

me

why you didn't bother telling me about us when we first met. You could have acknowledged me, at least. What was so fucking difficult? A "Hey, good to see you again!" would have been nice. Or maybe even a "Man, it's been awhile." Something, anything, to indicate that we knew each other!" I was overwhelmed with emotions so raw at this point that I found myself yelling at him.

"But you know what really happened? You pretended that we were strangers. Were you that ashamed of our past relationship that you couldn't even bring yourself to say hi? Do you know what it was like for me to return to this place-" I gestured around with a wild wave of my hand.

"-Japan, and have no one come up to me to ask about what I'd been up to? I wondered if I had been an asshole with no friends!"

I was oblivious to my surroundings. I was annoyed, frustrated and disappointed in myself, and it didn't help that he was just sitting there, looking nonplussed and undisturbed by my display of anger.

After my outburst, I just felt drained. I sank to the couch heavily and ran both hands through my wavy hair. Bad habit.

I drew in a shaky breath, but when I spoke, my voice was once again calm. "The worst thing was, although I couldn't remember anything about myself, I liked you the moment I saw you."

I scoffed at my own stupidity, and didn't meet his gaze. "Pathetic.

Nasaké nai désu

. I obsessed about you, wanted to know everything about you.

Baka mitai

. And here you are, knowing exactly who I am, and you're avoiding me."

Chet scowled, a dark frown marring his face. "It's not like that, baby." Now

that

ticked me off even more, if that was humanly possible.

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh. So I'm your

baby

now. Only when it's convenient to pacify me, you call me that." Fuck this.

I got up and headed for the door. Chet grabbed my arm, but I knocked his hand away and snarled angrily at him. "Don't. Just don't ever come near me again. You can take your fucking explanations and go right to hell."

He raised both hands in surrender. "Fine, no touching. But this was supposed to be a two-way conversation. Let's talk more. Alright?"

Was it just my overactive imagination, or did he look slightly desperate? "No, Chet. You obviously couldn't stand the sight of me. Let's just pretend we're strangers again. If you care the slightest about how I feel, just stay the fuck away from me. I'm done."

And with that, I walked out the door.

The following day, I didn't see Chet in class. His friends hadn't seen him all day, either.

Okay, so I asked about him. So what? Now that I'd released my hidden resentment, I began to speculate. Maybe I should have given him a chance to justify himself.

At night, alone in the bathroom, I stared at the reflection in the mirror. It was only then that it dawned on me; I was truly alone. Instead of trying to find out about what had happened between us, I'd recoiled away from the truth, afraid like some goddamned coward.

Afraid of what? Rejection? Well, Chet had never said he liked me or anything, not that I could recall. There was nothing to lose by trying. And then there were those secrets he was trying to conceal. Why?

I paused in the middle of brushing my teeth and pondered. My gut told me that there was more to this story, and I was determined to see it through. Those hazel eyes in the mirror demanded to know more. I agreed. Tomorrow, I'd ask Chet to explain himself.

At 3 am, I was jarred awake by the sound of someone's fist banging on my front door. I peered through the peephole and opened it, allowing two rude visitors to stumble through.

"What the fuck? Are you guys insane? Do you know what time it is?"

Drake looked up at me, before dumping the unconscious Chet on the floor. Ouch. A large bump would probably emerge from that impact. "Yeah. We need to talk."

I folded my arms and tilted my head to one side, eyeing the tall man. "You'd forgive me for being not quite so elated, especially when that's coming from a guy your size."

He cast me a wilting glare. "Ha ha. Very funny."

As the strong stench of alcohol wafted to my nose, I pinched my nostrils shut. "He's dwunk, isn't he?"

"Mm hmm. Pretty drunk. The bartender dialed the first number on his cell and it was my sad fate that the number was mine." He sighed theatrically before shooting me a meaningful look. "Seemed like he was having some trouble digesting some harsh parting words his one true love spouted."

He stretched his long frame over the sofa and gestured to a spot next to his feet. I glanced at those big feet and immediately wished them off my expensive leather couch. I chose to sit at my recliner instead. "What would you like to talk about?"

"Look. I know you and the big guy here had a major argument. Things are just not what they seem, you know."

Chill. I counted to ten and still ended up sounding irritable. "What is it with you guys and secrets? You know everything and won't divulge anything. Enough with this big hoo-ha and just. Fucking. Explain."

Drake scrutinized the annoyance on my face and smiled. "Know what? I changed my mind." He rose to leave.

I threw my hands up in exasperation. "Wha-? Then what the fuck did you come here for?"

He shrugged, grinning at me. "I suppose I came to deliver a package. Go easy on him, would ya?"

I strode to the door and barred his departure. "Oh, hell no. You're not going to leave me with-"

I looked down at a very unconscious Chet.

"-that thing on the floor."

That drew a chuckle from Drake. "Poor bastard. I'll tell him you called him that. He'd be thrilled," he drawled sarcastically. Then he looked me in the eye and held my shoulder gently. "Hey, you do like my brother, don't you?"

Noncommittal, I blinked. "I guess." I wasn't about to admit it to Chet's brother, even if it was true. A man's got to have his pride. Besides, I knew a few male models who clinched the Top Gossips list. People who claimed that men don't gossip surely lived in a cave.

"Yeah. He does like you, too." He cast a sympathetic glance at the drunken heap on the carpet. "Even if he won't admit it." My heart pumped a little faster at that, and he winked at me.

"So,

sayonara

, dude. The only Jap word I know. Take care of that jerk for me, eh?"

"Yeah."

The wooden door closed behind him and I was aware that it was just the two of us. Alone. In my fancy apartment.

Chet was drunk, but still very appealing. Well, first things first.

I slid my arms around his shoulders and marveled at the well-formed muscles under my hand. Just for a second. "Up you go, buddy."

He wobbled unsteadily to his feet and leaned heavily against me for support. I steeled myself against the warm breath against my ear. "Come on, Chet. Up!"

His body obeyed my command as we staggered towards my bedroom.

Halfway to the bed, he whispered against my ear. "-Armani."

I turned to look at him, startled that his alcohol-dulled mind could even form a fashion term. "What?"

Chet smiled at me and reached up to smooth a lock of hair from my forehead. "Idole d'Armani. Your cologne."

He stumbled onto the bed, and pulled me down with him, pinning me under his body.

I was trapped. Somehow, his hands had caught my wrists in the tumble. I swallowed nervously, but I was proud of how in control I sounded. "Let me up, Chet. Not funny."

He gazed down at me; the heat and desire in his eyes almost seared my skin as he branded my lips with his. He ran his tongue over my lower lip, teasing them to part, and when they did in a low moan, our tongues danced in a mating ritual of their own. He released my left wrist only so he could gently cup the back of my head to better angle his head and deepen the kiss, turning it to molten fire.

I could barely even breathe, much less think as my recently-freed hand stroked down his back, only to end up squeezing his right butt cheek, eliciting a deep groan from him.

That was a mistake, because it was then that the beast was free from its cage. He tore at my pajama bottoms in a frenzy, ripping the delicate material from my skin and took in the sight of my flushed, naked body.

"Asato," he whispered. "

Asato. Oré no mono

." With that, he dragged his hot mouth all over my body, laving kisses on my neck and chest, and stopped at my nipples.

By now, I was breathing hard and I couldn't even think of stopping, although I was probably going to regret it the morning after. I stilled my breathing and teased him, "Like my boobs?" Despite my efforts, my voice came out sounding low and husky.

Chet met my amused gaze with a somber expression. "Very much so, and I did fantasize about sucking them. Again and again."

Before I could respond, his tongue swept out to taste the erect little nub, teasing it before taking it into his mouth. "Fuck!" I cursed as I tried to remove his shirt as well, needing to feel his bare skin against mine. He switched attention to the other nipple, swirling his tongue around the dusky aureole before grazing his teeth lightly with it, causing my body to jerk in response.

Large hands gripped my legs and spread them apart as he settled between them, knees forcing them wider. An alarm went off in my head, warning me that this was territory I had not delved into before. However, the sight of his naked chest had me capitulated when he pulled off his shirt, intense eyes on me. I roamed his chest with my bare hands, delighted at the feel of naked flesh that was somehow distinctly familiar.

Again, he leaned down and trailed kisses at my neck, tasting the salt on my skin and chuckled at the leaping pulse he found there. "Excited much, are we?" the low murmur against my neck sent shivers up my body as I started to lose control of myself. Yet again.

I kissed him frantically and unzipped the front of his jeans hurriedly and reached inside. "Whoa, whoa. Relax, baby." He caught my hands in his. "We have all night."

I bared my teeth at him in the semblance of a snarl. "No, dammit. I want you now." I shoved him on the bed and proceeded to have my way with him.

If only. He rolled me over and we both struggled for the dominant position as we tumbled around on the bed.

The winner was Chet. He looked at me and victory was written all over his face. "You don't know how long I've wanted this...how long I've dreamed of you. Just like this."

Right then, I felt his hard arousal press against my ass, the bulge in his boxers apparent. I braced a hand at his shoulder, wanting to protest, but his lips weakened my resolve again as his talented tongue traced the shell of my ear, then nibbled at my earlobe.

"

Chet, chotto matté. Oré...

I can't – I don't-"

Chet rotated his hips against mine, grinding that delicious cock against my sensitive hole, pleased when he heard my moans of approval. "Don't, Asato. Don't think. Just feel."

He shifted lower on my body and his breath fanned my own aroused cock. "I like that you're this hot for me. My Asato." He licked off traces of pre-cum that had smeared my abdomen, and teased the swollen knob with his forefinger.

"

Kuso! Chet

!" I arched my hips up in pleasure. Fuck. If I was sober, I would kill myself for ever being this wanton.

His warm hand closed around my throbbing cock and tightened slightly. But not stroking.

"Chet." I almost pleaded.

"

Mada da yo

, be patient." He smiled at me, and I hated that sadistic side of him just then. He wanted me to beg. Well, fuck that. He could wait forever.

Or not. My body needed release and it needed it

now

. Frustrated, I tried to push his hand away. Fine, if he wouldn't do it, I could do it myself.

He caught my wrist and pushed it away, all the while observing my impatient reactions. "Why don't you...fuck my hand?" he suggested.

I gritted my teeth against the humiliation and turned a shade of pink, furious enough to want to call it a night. "Why don't you go fuck yourself, you perverted sadist?"

Chet smiled at my irritation, and decided against whatever he had been planning. Good.

His hand stroked my cock in a fast rhythm, sliding up and down, thumb rubbing in circles at the tip. The contrast of the sudden movement compared to the still hand from before coaxed a gasp from me.

"

Motto. Motto, Chet

." I demanded for more as I fucked his hand. Ironic, considering this was something I had been so adamant about not doing just minutes ago.

The stroking increased its pace as I gripped at the sheets, body covered in a light sheen of sweat, lips slightly parted in pleasure. I moaned, watching my swollen cock slide in and out of his closed hand as my hips started undulating to a faster rhythm.

Panting, I blinked as I realized what he was planning to do. "

Chotto, Chet! Kitanai da yo!

" His tongue darted out to taste the tiny hole, and my ass muscles twitched in response.

He looked up at me, eyes glimmering with heavy lust. "How can it be dirty? I've been wanting to taste this part of you," and resumed swirling his wet tongue around the sensitized nub.

I had never felt so exposed before, until now. I groaned when he finally stopped rimming my ass, only to delve his tongue into the wet hole, moving in and out. I shuddered as the first wave of orgasm swept through me, and my stomach contracted in response.

The bastard gripped my cock hard, stopping me from reaching the climax. "What the fuck-? Let me cum, Chet!"

He withdrew his tongue from me. "

Mada mada, Asato

." He took a tub of Vaseline on the bedside table and coated his fingers with it. I used it to moisturize my hands. I had a feeling that I wouldn't look at it the same way again.

I swallowed, heart pounding with anticipation and dread. Chet traced my asshole with his middle finger, merely teasing it as he ran kisses up my neck. "

Chikara o nuité

. I won't hurt you, Asato."

My breath caught as his finger pushed inside, and moaned as my body adjusted to having the feel of something inside. His finger moved in and out repetitively, and I was barely aware of him adding more Vaseline to his fingers. All I could feel was the mounting pleasure.

By now, three of his fingers were stroking me, in and out. When I opened my eyes, I noticed the fierce concentration on his face, and the tiny beads of sweat that clung to his skin.

He became aware of my staring and directed that burning gaze at me. He kissed me, possessively claiming me as his.

"Mmph, Chet.

Oré wa

-" I was cut off mid-sentence when he withdrew his fingers from me, and I muttered a protest. "No, keep it there."

Chet chuckled, and nibbled at my neck. That was going to leave a mark. "

Da mé

. I want to mark you, as mine."

Something big and hot pushed insistently against my virginal hole, and my breathing grew shallow as I tried to will my body to accommodate his thick girth, hands gripping hard at the sheets. "

Da mé. Hontou ni...dékai da

."

I forced myself to breathe, as he slowly but steadily slid into me, allowing me to adapt to the feel of him.

"Stop seducing me, dammit.

Asato, chikara o nuité.

Let me in.

Sou da yo, ii ko da né

." Despite his words, he was gritting his teeth in focus as he tried not to move.

Experimentally, I shifted and he cursed. "Fuck, Asato. Are you trying to kill me? I'm trying to restrain myself here!"

And then his supposed restraint broke. He slowly withdrew, and slid right in to the hilt. His thick cock started to plunge in and out in an erotic rhythm, eliciting low groans from me as he plundered my previously virginal hole.

His thrusts became faster, harder, as I strove to match his rhythm, nails digging into flesh. I left teeth marks all over his shoulders as his cock fucked me relentlessly, driving me to moan encouragingly against his shoulder.

"

Motto! Hayaku!

" My fingers dug into his taut buttocks as he thrust harder, indulging my demands. I reveled in the sounds we made; his deep growls matching the erotic slap of flesh against bare skin.

Chet shuddered, and I knew that he was close. He started fucking in fast, short strokes, letting me feel every pronounced ridge of his cock as I stroked my own cock furiously, matching the same rhythmic thrusts.

"Fuck, that's hot," he murmured as he pinched my nipples, making me jerk in response.

Moaning, I felt the first tremors of my climax. "

Da mé da. Iku! Oré wa iku!

"

My ass tightened on his throbbing cock as I came all over our stomachs, breathing in harsh gasps, cum dripping from my cock. Then, I realized that my lover hadn't cum yet. I ran both hands up that toned chest, pinching his nipples as I sucked hard on his neck, still trying to catch my breath. "

Naka ni dashité hoshi,

" I whispered.

His intense gaze snapped to mine. "

Ii ka

?"

Wordlessly, I reached around and squeezed his ass cheeks, groaning as he continued to ram into me. Without warning, I slid a finger into that tight asshole and I could feel his cock shoot cum inside my sore hole. He thrust deeply into me, his cock plunging hard with a few short jabs as the last jets of cum spurted inside me. Groaning, he fell next to me on the bed, drained but sated.

"Fuck, Asato. You're a maniac, you know that?" Chet pulled me into his embrace, our bodies still attached. As his cock slid wetly out of me with an audible pop, I groaned at the sudden loss, feeling his warm semen trickle down my thigh.

He kissed my cheek. "

Daijoubu

?"

I grunted an affirmative as I began to drift to sleep.

"I didn't want to cum inside, not for your first time. You really are crazy." Vaguely, I noted that he didn't sound too displeased. Nor did he sound too drunk.

Then I was in La-la land.

The smell of greasy bacon and eggs permeated the air. Blinking groggily, I sat up to decipher that delicious aroma, only to grimace at the soreness of my butt and hips.

I looked down at my state of undress, and was immensely grateful; Chet had taken the time to carefully clean my body of semen. I was now wearing a clean pair of my favorite black boxers.