Matthew 11:28-29
"Your hair's longer."
"Think so? ... Ow."
"A little. I like it."
It was becoming a night of firsts. I'd never been naked in someone's bed. Never watched someone undress completely up close - though when I got too flustered after Levi took off his gear, he did acquiesce to put boxer briefs on. The scent of leather on his body was still strong when he sat himself cross-legged beside me and laid me out on my front to attend my reddened backside. I'd been surprised that he got a first aid kit out for this - was that necessary? But once he'd started massaging cold gel into my burning skin, I succumbed to almost immediate relief.
"You shouldn't have marks," said Levi thoughtfully. "I tried to go easy on you."
"That was you
going easy?
" I smirked with mock exasperation.
Levi raised a brow. "I was being fairly gentle," he said, almost playful. "I've left bruises with fewer blows before."
"God," I huffed, propping my chin up on crossed arms. "I can't believe you actually expected me to take thirty-five of those."
He stifled a laugh.
"What?"
"I didn't," he confessed. "Whole point was to force you to call a stop. I only expected to get as far as fifteen, maybe less."
"You're kidding."
"I wanted to see how much you could take," he shrugged. "It's good for me to know where your pain tolerance is at. Honestly, probably helps that your ass and leg muscles are so fucking
toned
. You were actually starting to hurt my hand, not gonna lie."
I snorted into my arms. "Oh, good. Nice to know my ass can break your fingers."
"That's why they make paddles."
I groaned.
Levi capped the tube of gel he was using and gave my backside a last loving stroke. "That should feel a little better. Still hurt?"
"It's a tiny bit sore," I told him. "But the stinging's gone."
"Yeah, you might be tender for a bit," he said, snapping the med kit shut. "This should help you heal faster, though. At least you'll be able to sit down tomorrow."
"Hey, I'll be good enough to go to church on Sunday." The sentiment was almost ridiculous... And yet, thinking about church in my current position didn't make me feel guilty. Tentatively, I rolled onto my back with a sigh and readjusted my necklace, warm with the heat of my skin, and the ring at my collar clinked softly with my movement.
I'd almost begged for Levi to put the collar back on when we were done reconciling on the living room floor. I felt oddly possessive of it... But then again, it was inscribed with my name. I kept running my fingers over it, exploring, feeling the leather shape to my throat. It was almost a scary feeling. Almost.
The exhaustion that set in after made Levi's bed feel more soft and luxurious than I'd ever noticed. Maybe that was just the blissful relief of knowing I'd been accepted. I hadn't even realized that, more than the regret... I had just really missed Levi. And those emotions were suddenly, miraculously gone, leaving only this sort of warm space between us. When he came to sprawl out on his side next to me, all I could do was stare up at him with this strange sense of unrealness filling my head, like I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or not.
"How long have you had this?" I asked him.
"Had what?" he returned casually.
"This." I flicked the collar. "You didn't make it while I was gone... did you? You wouldn't make a collar for me after I bailed."
Levi sighed, head sagging against his hand. "I did," he said. "Well, not quite. I'd already started making it before you left. Pretty much the day you said you wanted it. After the argument, I immediately went to throw it away..." He lowered his eyes. "... And I kept coming back to work on it instead. Ended up finishing it two weeks ago and just... kept it up here."
"In... In your room? Why?"
"Because I'm a sentimental fuckwit, Ash. That's why."
I half-grinned at him. "So when did you end up reading Revelation?"
"
That
was after you were gone," he said. He sat up and leaned over to open his nightstand. To my surprise, my paperback bible came out of the drawer. The binding was looking significantly more broken-in, cover rolling and spine cracked, and weird black tabs stuck out between my own.
"Was that in there next to the lube?" I asked reproachfully.
Levi laughed shamelessly. "Yeah, why not?"
"What are the black things?"
He flicked the book open in his lap and showed me a couple of the pages. There was black pen circling and underlining things everywhere, sometimes with scribbled notes jammed along the margins in incomprehensibly tiny print. "Electrical tape," he said. "Doesn't make a bad page marker. I was just reading this whenever it struck me... And it ended up striking me a lot."
"Why?" I frowned. "I didn't think you cared about this stuff."
"Ash, it's important to
you
," said Levi, patting the cover for emphasis. "This forms the basis for a majority of your moral compass. These are the laws that govern your life. Least, that's what I thought until I read it all... I dunno. I saw some lines I liked, I marked them."
Levi put the book away and returned to his place lounging beside me. His free hand began tracing over my chest, making shivers in my ribs. I lifted my own to him, my fingers falling just short of the lines of his pectorals. He smiled.
"You're allowed to touch me," he coaxed. "Here... look."
Levi pressed his hand over mine, holding it against the left side of his chest. His skin was startlingly warm on my palm, his heartbeat hard but even. I ran my thumb along the furrow of his sternum and felt my own pulse arousing pressure in my groin. My breath shook.
"Holy shit," he laughed softly, running his hand down my arm. "You've got goosebumps. That good, huh?"
My face was burning. "I've just never really... touched someone like this," I confessed.
"Yeah? Well..." Levi smirked and lay down, splaying his arms out over the pillow. "Help yourself."
For a moment, all I could do was stare at him. I realized my mouth was open, shut it dumbly, and sat up. He was pretty much inviting me to do what he'd done to me earlier, his impromptu 'inspection'... Except that I wasn't nearly as confident, as fearless as Levi.
Fuck
, I wanted to touch him, though. I inhaled deeply and shifted to face him, lining my hips up with his.
It was strange, being over him like this. I still felt debilitatingly shy, even knowing there was... very little between us now, physically or otherwise. I hadn't realized I was holding my breath until Levi brushed a hand over my thigh and made my lungs release.
Underneath me, he chuckled, eyes narrowing. "Ash... You had my cock in your mouth," he said. "Don't be afraid. Give me your hands."
"I... okay."
I let him take my hands in both of his and place them at the ridge of his collarbone, and I spread my fingers out over him experimentally. He held me there for a moment, then slowly eased me down... Over the steady flex of his chest, the curve of his ribcage, the hard planes of his abdominal muscles. Beyond warm, his skin was almost fire against mine. Was this just how another person's body felt? As Levi guided me down over his waist, I slipped my left hand out from under his... And when he didn't protest, I let my fingers tease the thin line of dark hair that trailed up to his navel.
Involuntarily, I swore under a trembling breath.
