I couldn't keep the thoughts out of my head; thinking about that first time Ryan and I had sex exactly one year ago...all of a sudden Ryan had been standing in front of me, completely naked. He kissed me gently, tenderly, with passion. I closed my eyes just wanting it to be over. He put his hands on my waist and slid my track pants down until they were at my ankles. I automatically lifted up first one leg, and then the other, allowing him to pull them off me completely. It felt so robotic, so mechanical. I was responding to his touch because as a sub, it's what nature intended. A faggot like me obeys his Alpha. This is what Ryan wanted. It happened without thought. If I had been sober, I would have said something--but then again if I had been sober this wouldn't have been happening in the first place...
Now I was wearing only my jock, and Ryan's massive cock was pressed against my thigh, still dripping copious amounts of his precum. He took my hand in his, and lead me to my bedroom, with me obediently following behind. We arrived in my room, and he walked around me to close the door behind me. I shut my eyes, it felt like he was trapping me in there with him, with no escape. 'Please no, please do not let this happen. No, god, please!' I said to myself. How the fuck could I let things get this far?
Ryan walked back around me to lay down on my bed, and tugged gently on my hand to pull me in after him. Again I obeyed, laying myself down next to him, our faces almost touching. He kissed me again, sliding his tongue into my mouth and gently nibbling my lips. He was such an incredible kisser, and his mouth tasted so fresh even though he couldn't have brushed his teeth since at least a few hours ago. I wished at that moment that I could just be attracted to him, that I could just be normal. Who in my place would want to resist this Apex Alpha in their bed?
He pushed on my leg, moving me towards him. Clearly he wanted me to get on top of him. I sat up awkwardly, and brought my legs to either side of his torso until I was straddling him, and his rock-hard cock was now leaking precum right onto my pussy as it quivered with anticipation, my jock allowing full contact between us. "You're so fucking gorgeous Colby, and I love you so fucking much. I want to make love to you all night long, I NEED to be inside you!"
Ryan reached around behind me and grabbed his shaft, positioning it to allow the head to be lined up with my pussy lips. He took his hand back to his face and spat into it, bringing it back to rub all over his cock, and I felt one of his fingers rubbing gently all around the inside of my pussy. He took his time, he clearly knew how to fuck an ass. He was so gentle with that finger, making sure I took it easily before he brought his fingers up to my mouth, and slid them inside. I was not prepared for the rank taste of my own pussy, but I was clean, and had readied myself when I took a shower earlier; I'm a good sub who was trained well, I always make sure to keep myself ready at all times. I obediently opened my mouth, and Ryan slid a second, and then a third finger inside, pushing back and forth until they were very wet with saliva. He brought his hand back to my pussy and slid two fingers inside. I moaned; it wasn't completely unpleasant, but there was some pain.
"Fuck Colby, the way you moan gets me so fucking hard for you. I'm going to be inside you soon, okay? I can hear how desperate you are for my cock. I won't make you wait much longer I promise!" And he kissed my abs as he slid the third finger inside. I moaned louder, grunting a little. This time hurt a little more, but it did subside as he worked his fingers in and out, taking his time to make sure I really opened up for him. He brought his fingers back to my mouth, and again I opened up for him. The flavour of my own cunt was strange, although not unpleasant, and not something I'd never tasted before--a lot of men liked to go back-and-forth from my pussy to my throat. I definitely preferred the taste of cock though, pussy was not for me.
Ryan took his hand out of my mouth again, brought it down to his, and spat into it one more time, before finally bringing it back behind me to massage over his cockhead and into my pussy again. Then he grabbed his cock, and slid it around until it was parting my lips. He brought his hands to either side of my waist, and slowly starting pulling me down onto him.
The moment his cock pushed past my lips, I felt myself stretch wider than I had ever been stretched before. Jason had a HUGE cock, but it was nowhere near as thick as Ryan's. 'This must be what getting fisted feels like!' I thought to myself. Thankfully there was still enough alcohol to keep me from feeling everything; I could definitely tell there was pain, but it was almost like it was far away. I can't deny that Ryan definitely made every effort not to rush me. He went so slowly, my heart almost broke all over again because I could see how badly he was trying to make this enjoyable for me, and I knew that it must be killing him not to just give in to his desires and thrust his cock all the way into me at once.
I wanted to enjoy this. I LOVE getting fucked, and there's no more insanely hot a guy than Ryan. He did absolutely everything right. More than that, he wasn't just fucking me, he was doing exactly what he had told me, he was making love to me. I could feel his love in the tenderness of his movements. The way he kissed my abs, my hands, my chest, my nipples. The way he caressed every part of my body so gently, so slowly. The way he was looking at me, like I was the most incredible thing he'd ever seen. Like he really was in love with me.
Suddenly he was looking right into my eyes, and I felt his balls smack against my ass. He was all the way inside me...and tears started falling down my face. I took my hand to try to discreetly wipe them, hoping he was too lost in the feeling of finally being inside me to notice--but he saw me. He stopped moving right away "Oh fuck! Colby, I'm so sorry, am I hurting you?? I know I'm really big, I was doing everything I could to open you and then go slow!"
He looked so upset, so apologetic. I couldn't believe what I was doing. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME??? I tried to smile, all I could think of was 'no matter what happens tonight, I'm not losing you Ryan!'
I leaned forward as far as the giant cock in my ass would let me, and kissed his lips. "Baby, I'm SO sorry. I don't know if I can take it right now, you're so big and I know you really took your time, but I didn't realize how long it's been since I've been with anyone. And I've never been with a guy as big as you. I don't think I'm ready for it, it just hurts too much..."
He looked heartbroken, and I thought I was going to die. I kissed him as quickly as I could, desperately trying to show him a desire for him that I did not feel. "Ryan, I love you so fucking much. Please don't be upset with me, I just want our first time to be perfect!" Oh shit, where the fuck did I come up with that one?
He looked at me, and half-smiled, "are you sure Colby? I don't want to pressure you into anything you don't want..."
I didn't even realize I was holding my breath, I relaxed a bit at seeing his smile. "You know how much you mean to me, don't you Ryan?" I took his hand, and I placed it on my heart. With the stress of his giant cock stretching me, and the anxiety of almost ruining our relationship, my heart was beating a million times a second. "My heart hasn't beat for someone like this since...well, you know better than anyone. You were the one who picked up all the broken pieces of me and took the time and the care to put them back together. I would die if anything happened and I lost you. I just want to be ready for you, to give you the pleasure and love that you deserve. When we do make love, I want everything to be perfect!" I kissed him again, slowly, sliding my tongue between his lips and rubbing my piercing around on his tongue.
I took his arms and I wrapped them around my back, pushing myself against his body as much as I could while his cock still throbbed deep inside me. And then I squeezed it. I clamped down on his cock with the muscles inside my pussy, and squeezed- trying to give him as much pleasure as I could in this moment. I would deal with the consequences of what I was saying later, right now all that matters is that he knows I am not prepared to lose him.
