I'm Not Gay but My Roommate Is

All characters are over 18.

*

The referee blew his whistle and just like that the game was over. We won. It was only the university community team, but still. My friend Bruno jumped and screamed and the few people on the university's gymnasium also cheered, but I didn't feel quite happy... Why was that? Oh, right. Because my leg hurt.

I had been on the receiving end of a foul play and kept playing, but the pain was very real. I limped towards the lateral of the camp, smiling so my friend Bruno who had a worried face didn't worry too much. Bruno was tall, more built than me because I preferred soccer over gym, his dark hair was short and messy, and he claimed that he liked the messiness because it helped hide his big ears.

His friend was there too, Alfredo, and he had no worries for me, and only wore his usual disgusted-with-the-world face. Looking at both of them, they seemed very much alike, except Alfredo was blond, less built and more uptight, I didn't like him very much, but lately our relationship had worsened for no reason that I could point with exactness. What was he doing here?

"Nice game, Julio," Bruno said, when I reached them. I passed the iron bars that surrounded the arena. People were already leaving the gymnasium.

"As always," I said, smiling. But my smile died when Alfredo, next to him, grunted provocatively. I stared at him, but said nothing. "So, let's go? My leg is a bit sore, I think I need to lay down and rest."

"Yeah, man. Come on."

"Great," Alfredo said. I didn't know what his problem was. I didn't ask, but my patience was wearying thin.

With my blood running cold now, the pain on my leg seemed to intensify, and so did my limping. Bruno asked if he could help me, but I refused. We left the gymnasium to the cold wind of night, and people talking loudly.

We walked in silence towards Bruno's car. He was giving me a lift to his apartment where I was crashing. He was a rich boy, but he liked me and said that I was his roommate so I wouldn't complain.

I still didn't know why Alfredo was here, though.

I went automatically to the front seat because Bruno was always driving me everywhere, and I was always on the front seat with him.

"Seriously?" That was Alfredo.

I stopped, hand still on the handle and faced him. "I'm going on the front."

I smiled, seriously confused about this sudden tantrum.

"Are you kidding me?"

"Uh, no." Alfredo came at me as if ready to a fight. I was so shocked that I just stared.

"Alfredo, what's wrong with you?" Bruno said. Alfredo unlocked his gaze from mine and his features softened when he turned to Bruno.

"We're already late to our... to the show. You still want to take this guy home?"

"I told him I would!"

"He can grab a bus."

"You didn't told me it was going to be a problem, Bruno" I said. The situation made me uncomfortable and also very angry. Bruno looked at me with pleading eyes.

"Julio, it's no problem. Get in. You're going on the front."

I looked at Alfredo then, and his face showed a range of emotions from outrage to hurt. I still felt like his tantrum had been too much and asked myself if he hated me that much. Apparently he did.

But I got in on the front seat and after a few moments of waiting, Alfredo got on the back, not trying to hide his anger when he closed the door. Bruno turned on the engine, and the silence reigned for a few roads.

The pain in my leg eased with the comfort of sitting so I made the mistake of trying to check how bad it was. I lifted my shorts and touched the area where the right foot of the opponent had scrapped. Bad, bad mistake.

"Damn" I said aloud.

"What?" Bruno asked.

"That dude got me hard right here," I said, pointing to the area right on the side of my leg above the knee and below my crotch.

"That fowl on the second half?" he said, while driving. "I saw that. But you kept playing, I thought you were fine."

"Fine my ass," I said.

"Crybaby," he said. I smiled, trying not to show that I actually wanted to cry.

"Great," Alfredo said behind us. "By all means, take your time. We already lost half the show."

Bruno sighed. The uncomfortable silence came back like an itch. I looked outside the window trying to ignore but Alfredo kept pushing.

"He could just grab a bus and let us go, we still have time, Bruno."

I had enough.

"Alright, stop the car, man. I can grab a bus."

"What, no!" Bruno raised his voice. "Alfredo, for God's sake, stop being such a pain in the ass." It was rare to see Bruno so angry, so I was a bit amazed. "I said I was driving him, so I'm driving him. You," he said to me, "will stay."

"All right, chill man. I don't want to ruin your plans."

"You're not."

"Yes, he is. Yes, you are." Alfredo's voice was subdued.

At that moment I wanted to be anywhere else but there with him. I didn't like him, but he hated me. It was clear. I couldn't think of anything that I did to him. I was thankful that Bruno was defending me, but I would rather leave instead of hearing this crazy dude say those things to me.

"What the hell is your problem?" I said, turning around.

"Right now, it's you!"

"Jesus fucking christ," Bruno said. "You know what..." He stopped the car, and with a burning face, I was ready to leave. But Bruno grabbed my hand. "Not you. Alfredo, get out."

"What?" Alfredo said. "You kidding, right?"

Bruno looked back at him. He seemed troubled but still angry. And Alfredo's voice carried an air of pure incredulity.

"You're acting crazy," Bruno said. Fucking right. I tried to look away to hide my happy face for what he was doing for me. Bruno and Alfredo had been friends way longer than me and Bruno, so it was nice to see that we had made a connection and he was choosing me instead of the weird playboy.

"You know what?" Alfredo said. "Fine." He seemed hurt, and I felt a pang of pity for the guy. But then I remembered how umcomfortable he made the whole situation. It was his own fault.

Alfredo left the car and Bruno started it, then left. I was actually surprised to see that he really left the guy behind. It was a crowded street but still, damn.

Bruno was intensely driving and didn't look at me, but I could see that he was breathing hard and his lips trembled a bit, so leaving his friend behind did shake him up.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I don't know what I did to him. Dude treat me like I'm a cockroach." I smiled but inside I was still trying to understand what I had done.

"Don't apologize. I don't get him either sometimes."

"You're gonna miss your show."

Bruno looked at me and shrugged.

"I don't feel like going now."

"Yeah, I get it. Then we could just watch some movie before I hit the bed and never wake up again."

Bruno smiled, and nodded.

"Sure. But I don't think you're gonna keep that promise."

"After what you did? I'm all yours."

Bruno looked sharply at me, then cleared his throat.

"It was nothing. He had no right to treat you that way."

It was good to know I had a true friend to count on. Bruno was a rich dude, but he didn't treat me like less and accepting me at his place had been a great relief in every aspect of my academic life. I took his words to heart, and tried to forget the anguish that his friend's attitudes made me feel.

When we got to the apartment, I limped all the way to the shower and cleaned myself. Then Bruno made us some popcorn and found a movie to watch. I noticed that he was ignoring some phone calls and I knew instantly who it was. I mean, dude is annoying. I didn't know why Bruno, who was such a nice guy, had such a pain in the ass friend.

We ate, talked and watched together. And at the end of the movie, I decided that my rest could wait. So Bruno chose another one. When he got up to make us some more popcorn, I tried to move to find a better position for my leg that still throbbed. Bruno came back and saw my pained face.

"Is it that bad?"

"Nah, I'm a wuss," I said.

Bruno nodded. "If it's just muscle pains then I could help."

"How?"

"A massage."

I stared at him. "You want to give me a massage here?" I pointed, and Bruno laughed.

"Jesus, are you afraid of what? Anyway, it was just suggestion." He sat down again. And although I smiled at his words, I kept thinking that a massage wouldn't be too bad, even if a little weird. Bruno was on med.

"How would this massage work?" I asked curiously. Bruno couldn't stop grinning which made me feel a little silly. He must have thought that I was really afraid, and that only made me want to prove that I wasn't.

"You put your leg here on my lap, and relax." He moved to the side of my pained leg, and pulled it on top of him, so I had to twist myself a little on the couch. His hands touched lightly on my leg, on top of my shorts, and I felt weirded out again, but hid it. "It might hurt at first, I'll try to come from the sides and then we focus on the main area." His hands started working. After a while, I forgot that I ever thought it was weird. He had magic hands. So I watched the movie and let him do his thing. I was kind of ashamed for my first reaction to this. He must have thought I was a very insecure guy.

"Listen" he said. "I'm going to raise your shorts a little, but don't panic."

"Fuck you, Bruno."

Bruno laughed. "Don't worry, this stays between us. I won't tell anyone."

"Fuck you!" I said again. But I was laughing too. He did raise my shorts and then his hands were touching my skin, strongly, pulling and pushing and grabbing. I closed my eyes for a while, and then...

"Hey, Julio. Julio, wake up."

I had fallen asleep. Bruno was standing up over me.

"Go to your room, man. You're too tired."

"Sure, yeah, sure. Thanks, man. For the massage."

Bruno's face reddened and he just nodded.

"Yeah, well. I finished. I'm going, alright?" He walked away and then I heard his bedroom door closing. I limped to my own room and realized the the pain had lessened considerably. Tomorrow I would thank him again.

I dreamed of Bruno that night, that he was massaging me again, but we were both naked and on a bed instead. I woke up ashamed and very relieved to realize it had been just a dream.

I waited a bit just so the evidence of my dream slowly got smaller, and relaxed. Dreams were weird. But the pain on my leg had gotten better, so it was on my mind, after my morning hygiene, to thank Bruno.

I heard noises on the kitchen and assumed it was him, who else could it be?

"Hey," I said. Bruno turned around. "Thank you again for the massage, my leg feels damn fine now."

Bruno just looked to the side with a regretful look, as if avoiding me. But his stare seemed too lingering and guilty, so I passed through the door and finally saw that he was not alone. Alfredo's face was red and he looked at Bruno accusingly, coldly.

"You massaged him?" he laughed. "You fucking gave him a massage, that's why you left me?"

"So what?" I said.

"Are you a fag?" he said to me.

I jumped on him, my right fist was about to meet his face when I felt Bruno pulling me away. He had been fast.

"Enough. Both of you. I'm tired of this. Wait, Alfredo..." Bruno let me go and ran after Alfredo, who had stormed off without saying another word.

Although my blood still boiled, I began to come to my senses. Once again, I felt like I was missing something. And I couldn't believe he had called me a fag just because of a fucking massage, I mean, sure I had felt a bit insecure the night before, but then it had been just a massage that had helped me a lot, I would do it again.

I was really angry, and the fact that I had just woken up from a weird dream made everything even more surreal. I pressed my hands on the table and breathed long and deep breaths. Bruno returned not long after. Alfredo wasn't with him.

"What the hell, Bruno? Did you hear him? What is wrong with that dude? Why are you his friend?"

Bruno just shrugged, which infuriated me.

"He's seriously fucked up!"

"It was you who jumped on him just because he called you fag!"

I must have appeared really surprised because Bruno quickly recomposed himself and used both his hands to make calming gestures in the air.

"Sorry. I'm just done with both you for now."

I was speechless for a few moments.

"Seriously? He has done nothing but provoke me. And he called me a fag because you gave me a massage!"

"So what?"

"So what? I'm not..." I stared at him, a bit nervous now, remembering the dream. I was afraid he could know what I had been dreaming just by looking at me.

"It was a bit weird. That's it. That's why we agreed not to tell anyone. As you said, he doesn't like you and jumped at an opportunity to make you angry. And you fell for it." Bruno turned around after speaking quickly.

Stung by his words, I lowered my head, at a loss again of what to say. Sometimes I could be really slow.

"I'm not gonna stand by as he offends me, Bruno. Tell him that."

"Fine," he said, dryly.

"Fine."

I turned around and left.

That day I decided to use the bus to go to the university, so I didn't see Bruno the whole day, and with each passing minute, I felt really bad, and childish. His friend didn't like me, but he did, and I liked him. He was a good friend, and I should strive more to make the situation okay.

I was leaving the last of my classes that day, it was late afternoon, and the sun was almost gone, when I was walking by the campus sidewalk and I saw Alfredo coming in my direction. I knew it was going to be trouble.

"Look, man. I'm sorry for whatever I did to you..." He didn't let me finish.

"And what did you do, huh?" He came really close, defyingly asking for a fight, and although I puffed my chest to press against his, I didn't give it to him. He was thinner than me, but still very well built. "Why don't you tell me what you did, you coward?"

I remembered what Bruno said, that he was baiting me and didn't fall for it. But almost. I really didn't enjoy being called a coward or a fag, he better learn that quickly.

"I don't know what you think I did..."

Again he interrupted me.

"I think you let my boyfriend give you a massage because you want to take him away from me."

"You're crazy, I... wait what?"

"I know your game. So you better tell me now, or I'll get it out of you."

The world buzzed around me. I looked straight into Alfredo's eyes and then it hit me. It hit me, but I still found it hard to believe, like impossible.

"Did you say boyfriend?" I said.

Alfredo seemed to finally understand something, because he calmed himself, and then assumed a fearful expression, his eyes got a bit bigger, and his lips wetter.

"I didn't."

"You did. You and Bruno... You two are..."

"We're friends," he said, with some desperation.

"Oh god, I let him touch me," I said. "Oh god."

"Wait, no," Now Alfredo didn't hide his fear. "This has nothing to do with Bruno all right. How about we just forget this, huh?"

I stared at his blue eyes for a moment, and it was enough to make him get away from me. I turned around, I needed something to drink, something strong. Everything was so wrong.

Then an arm pulled me strongly. I shoved him aside. Alfredo came again.

"Listen, it's all my fault. You can't hurt Bruno, don't say anything to him. He is your friend."

"He's not my friend," I said. "He's a creep."

"No. He's not." Alfredo was getting close, as if still looking for a fight.

"Don't touch me."

"You can't hurt him."

"I won't hurt him, you idiot."

"Yes, you will. You will say hurtful things. Please, don't. It was my fault. Hurt me, come on. Come on." He pushed me, over and over. The anger in me grew uncontrollably until I punched him finally. He didn't just accept it, and used his fist on me too, so our bodies were just a mess rolling on the ground. I knew though that that fight was something I would deeply regret. I didn't want hurt anyone. I was just really angry. So we fought for I don't know how long, until we were separated by a officer who worked at the campus.

We were held down at the police station, side by side, until things were cleared. There was a moment when we were alone, sitting on chairs next to each other, that Alfredo pleaded once again.

"Don't say anything. I was just jealous. I wasn't thinking."

I looked at him, and his face wasn't that bad. I guess neither of us really gave our full selves into the fight.

Funny enough, but not surprising, the person who came to pick up both of us much later was Bruno himself. He looked worried sick and asked us a million questions at once. It was so very late. The night wind, cold and colder. I interrupted his questions.

"Bruno, it was my fault. It was as you said, I'm too hot headed, and I'm sorry."

Both Bruno and Alfredo looked at me sharply.

I kept going.

"But we had time to talk now, and we're fine. No grudges."

"Really?" The incredulity on his voice was comical.

"Yeah, we're fine," Alfredo said. He smiled at me. I turned away and walked towards Bruno car. That time, I went for the back seat.

It was funny how all of Bruno's mannerisms showed his true colors. It was right in front of me. He left Alfredo at his place first. The way they talked, they looked like boyfriends. God... But I was so stupid.

Now I couldn't stop thinking about that stupid dream. Why the hell had I dreamed that shit?

Still, though. With a clear head, after the shock had somewhat passed, I still remembered that Bruno was my friend. We had had some good moments. And he had helped a lot. And his massage had been very effective.

It didn't stop me wonder, though, what was he thinking about as he lifted my shorts and grabbed me by the leg. It must have turned him on. Like I get turned on by girls when they come too close on a dance, or sit on my lap at a party. Was Alfredo right on being jealous? Was Bruno into me?

He looked at me then, from the front seat.

"You really okay?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Must've been an ugly fight."

"Nah, you should see the other guy. Wait..."

Bruno laughed out loud. It hadn't been that funny. Still, I smiled back, because it felt good to be appreciated. No. I couldn't hate Bruno.

"I'm glad you and Alfredo are cool, though," he said, and I believed him a hundred percent.

"Hey, listen. I know his reaction has been weird, but since we're cool now... I was thinking, you know, after that first time, my leg felt better, and you really eased the pain..."

"From the massage?"

"Yeah..." I said. "I know it's weird but, maybe just a quick one, you know. It felt really good."

The silence stretched for so long that I thought I had been wrong about everything. But then, Bruno cleared his throat.

"Sure, man, no problem."

As Bruno's voice turned into a more hoarse version, so did mine.

"Really?"

"Absolutely."

I felt as if I was letting some wind carry me through a path that was too scary to think about. I was about to say that I had changed my mind, though, and that I didn't want another massage after all, when I noticed something.

The car was faster than ever.

The first thing I did was to take a shower. I had to clean myself from all the dirt and a little blood, but I also wanted a moment to myself, to think, maybe remember that I wasn't the type of person to take advantage of a friend, or even that I wanted to, I mean, he was a guy!

But it's okay. It's just a test to see if he was into me. Let's see how hard I can push.

The idea of getting intimate with Bruno should've made me throw up. It should. I put on a shorts, smaller than usual, and positioned my cock and balls inside of my underwear just so it would make a huge bulge. I was getting ready for war, and my blood was running hot.

Bruno watched me get out of the bathroom, and then he went in to shower himself. I grew more self-conscious of my small shorts after the way he stared. It hadn't been too obvious, and it was quick, but I still noticed.