I'm Not Gay -

Authors Note:

Hey people! I hope you all had a nice holiday. May your 2025 be everything you wanted your 2024 to be 😊

Chapter 3, enjoy!

And don't be shy to share your thoughts!

---

"Lucas, could you pop in here when you have a minute?"

"Yup, you want coffee?"

"No thanks, got my tea already."

Right, Tania drinks herbal tea

I was hurling myself through the office. My whole week had been consumed by replying to e-mails, putting off phone calls and worst of all, preparing and sending out invoices to freelancers. I thoroughly

hate

having to deal with people that aren't as invested in my projects as my tightknit team is. Having to explain exactly what we're looking for and match one freelancer's work with the next, again and again... I was getting really fucking fed up with it. All of it was extra time that I didn't get paid for and frankly, that I couldn't fit into my schedule.

The deadline for this one was only six months away. And if the main narrative

and

all of the side-content kept leaking into our office at the speed of a broken faucet, we wouldn't make it. And that would mean

my

ass on the line. All because I couldn't seem to find a talented in-house writer that wanted to stay. Either because they got better offers elsewhere or because they

'just loooove the freedom this freelance life gives me!'

Fucking millennials

Despite my age, I try everyday not to be an apparent part of that generation of spoiled

fucking

losers.

I shuffled into Tania's office and slouched down in the chair on the other side of her desk, waiting for her to finish up an e-mail. Sighing into my cup of coffee.

At least the coffee's good around here

My mind drifted off slowly towards a simpler time. Three years prior to this, my life was way less stressful. And less complicated. I slept for half of the day, worked out, hung with friends and relaxed the other half. And worked at night, pouring drinks, flirting and fucking whoever the fuck I wanted to fuck. All the while raking in the cash.

Whether it was adulthood, guilt, dreams or something else that pulled me out of my easy days at

Senses

... I still have no idea. After that one night... all I know is that it gave me a wakeup call. To

grow up

or something. His name still rang in my ears sometimes.

Jesse

As did his face. I remembered how betrayed and angry he'd looked before he took off into the night.

I had a lot less sex after that.

And almost

none

to help the business.

I started feeling... dirty. In the wrong. I should have been a lot clearer with that guy, and checked in with him throughout our encounter.

Maybe, I had even been too arrogant. My sister Grace always said I was. And that it would bite me in the ass someday.

Well, that day had come. I guess.

I had let it cloud my judgement, and I had misread Jesse. Which never

ever

happened to me. In more ways than one, I was forced to look at myself in the mirror. The fact that Jesse hadn't taken me up on my offer to talk about it after didn't help. Sometimes, I still expected a call from him. I knew that one of our regulars back then, Sam Griffin, had given him my number. I'd asked him to, because they were friends. But I didn't know Sam well enough to continue asking about Jesse. It was already too much of a coincidence that Griffin had moved to the Hague, just like me, of all places in the fucking world.

I saw him at a bar about two months after I'd come here and rushed out, not wanting to face old memories. I even suspected that he'd followed me across the Atlantic, since he always tried to get a piece of me back at

Senses.

I'd always refused him though, because I was almost certain that Sam was the only person there that fucked more people than I did. And I didn't feel like catching anything or throwing a hotdog through a hallway.

Or being one of

his conquests.

We had our own little league going, it felt like. Of course, I only fucked guys. So Sam would always show me up by at least fifty percent.

Of course, Sam had to become bff's with my closest colleague, Tania. It had taken me quite a bit of effort to make sure his apparent friendship with her wouldn't include meeting

me

here. To the point that Tania would look at me strangely when I'd refuse to go get drinks with her after work.

I just wanted to leave that part of my life behind.

Completely.

Because clearly, that chapter had been closed. Otherwise, Jesse would have

fucking

done me the courtesy of allowing me to apologize to him properly.

But no, nothing.

Maybe that was the trigger for me to finally get out of the US, fly across the Atlantic and start anew. I don't know. I'm not a fucking therapist and I didn't intend to explore it any further. It happened. And now this was my life.

Slice&Dice.

I was always a videogame fanatic and a comic lover. Nerd tendencies that I kept private. And I know how to manage and lead. That's how I landed this job right here. And I wouldn't have wanted to miss out on it either, despite my constant internal complaining. After all, isn't that what office work is all about?

I should probably thank that Jesse guy for lighting the spark that ignited this bonfire of change in my life. If we ever happen to cross paths again.

"My head hurts just from looking at you. What's got your mind running a mile a minute?"

I looked up at Tania who was staring at me, her chin resting on her folded hands.

"Never mind." I shook my head a little, putting on my

game face.

"What's up? Something you wanted to show me. Let me guess, yet another interning hopeful who wants to get paid for their less-than-mediocre imagination?"

Tania chuckled at the irony in my voice. "Not this time." She turned one of her screens around towards me. "Actually, I think we've finally caught a lucky break. Take a look at this."

I leaned closer and started reading. A portfolio. Neat.

All sorts of creative writing. Most of it was private, some had been shared publicly on a multitude of forums. Original works, fanfiction. Short stories with different themes varying from thrillers to comedy. And from erotic drafts to blogs on recent development in the videogame industry. Devon Hughes, whoever he was, had a hell of a lot of talent. I could see that immediately. And Tania had obviously seen it too. The smirk playing on her lips made it clear to me that she was very proud of herself. I raised an eyebrow at her.

"You owe me a hundred bucks and

finally

a round of drinks after work." She mused.

"You're shitting me."

"Am not." She grinned. "He's coming in to meet the team next week and he's starting the week after that."

I couldn't help matching her shining face with my own. "Oh my god. How?"

"He came recommended. A friend of a friend, so to speak. I couldn't believe it either. Apparently, the guy's whole portfolio hasn't earned him as much as a penny yet. It's all hobby for him. So, I offered to pay him for it. He'll be yours for a month, but honestly, I want him to take point as narrative director asap, if he can handle it. Jasmine and the rest of us have been dying for an excuse to finally fire Fred. As soon as you think this guy's ready for it, Fred's out. And that'll leave

you

free to pick up the whole finance backlog that's been piling up."

I nodded at her, already feeling more motivated and excited about the whole project. As director of project management, it wasn't Tania's job to find talented guys and girls for all projects she must oversee. Not at all. It should fall to me, as project manager, to collect and construct a team of people who can make this particular game a success. I couldn't thank her enough.

"I think you just singlehandedly saved

Trials & Errors

, Tania." I beamed.

"And don't you forget it."

---

That kiss.

Fuck

That kiss felt good.

He was angry, though. The same fire from back then burned in his eyes. But there was something cool and stubborn too, refusing to be reduced to his ashes of fury. The same look he gave me when Tania introduced us again in the office.

Curiosity

Clear in his eyes. And I pitied him because of it, because he was right to be angry with me. Like he had been in the office. In his cute suit. Not having realized that office casual is already on the brink of being ridiculed by everyone at

Slice&Dice.

But wearing it with grace nonetheless.

And now? Now, the pull was too strong. I was here now, with him lying next to me. Naked. Ripe for the taking. And I couldn't help myself.

The first kiss was quick and hard. Clumsy and bruising. Hot as fuck. Because I wasn't sure if I would be allowed a second one. I searched his eyes when we pulled apart. The noise of disgust he made when our faces parted made me... Feel bad. Was it because no one had ever really refused my kisses, and this was the first time I felt rejection? Or was it because it was

Devon

who refused me? The first guy to ever make me feel like a true asshole? To make me feel out of control?

Devon

At least the name suited him better than fucking

Jesse

.

Whatever it was about him, it must have been plastered all over my face because a second later, Devon had decided to take pity.

On me

Instead of the other way around. Our kiss was frantic again. But less clumsy and quick. I wasn't afraid that it would stop anymore. The sounds we were both making reassured me of that. The sensations on my cock were tuned out by Devon's hands, that explored my torso in the same rhythm his tongue was probing my mouth. I only just managed to gently shove the girl's head off my dick before rolling myself on top of Devon's hot body.

A gorgeous body. He was more defined than last we met. While I had started skipping the gym more regularly. Some of my own definition and musculature had left me, replaced by quick fast food breaks and coffee induced sleepless nights.

I still looked good, my chest was big, my arms strong and my stomach flat. But I couldn't trace the veins in my biceps and my v-line like I could the last time Devon saw me naked.

As soon as I saw Devon's pecs, shoulders, arms and faint abs, I felt a little self-conscious. I wasn't sure whether I was jealous of his body or just wanted to feel it on mine.

All I know is I

moaned

at the contact. And I knew I wanted to feel him

all over

me. I'd missed his scent and his warmth, without even knowing it. I heard the other girl's mouth popping off of Devon's dick and pulled my own face away from his, to check his reaction.

He blinked fast a couple of times, as if trying to regain focus.

Oh shit

No

Don't freak out

I nearly begged him with my eyes. I licked and sucked and grazed my teeth down his neck, chest and his abs before he could do anything to get the girls involved again. Once I'd spread Devon's legs and pushed him up on the bed so that I could lay myself face down on his crotch, I saw the girls looking at us excitedly. Touching one another as they awaited the show.

Good

Stay right there

I chanced one last look at Devon, who had decided to bury the side of his face in the pillows, eyes closed, waiting for me to give him what I knew he'd been waiting for. Maybe since we met at the office.

Maybe since the day he walked out on me

I didn't care. I cared only about one thing. It had been a while, but I managed to get a little more than half of him inside my mouth immediately. Tenderly at first. But I couldn't resist and then I slobbered and drooled all over his hot cock as it pulsed inside of me. I got rid of any remnants of the girls' saliva and replaced their wetness with my own. Marking Devon.

Mine now

"Oh my god, what have we done?" I heard one of the girls giggle, the sound faint behind me. "Get your Satisfyer out Sofe. We got ourselves a no-touch show... again."

I didn't want to be watched by two college girls. I'd never liked to be watched by someone who wasn't doing me. Or being done by me.

Devon let out a yelp and I smirked around his length. Taking him deeper and deeper into my throat. He hadn't made that sound yet tonight, but I remembered hearing it before. My dick twitched at the memory. I felt his legs coming up, resting on my back. His warm, sweaty thighs locked me in. nowhere for me to go, as if I wanted to. I inhaled his scent, savored the taste of his precum and matched the muffled sounds coming out of his sexy mouth. I wrapped my arms around his strong thighs and used them as leverage to move myself up and down on his cock. I didn't care what I looked like, as long as Devon could see how hard I was working if he dared to take a glance.

And he did. He locked eyes with me.

Fire

"Oh fuck."

He groaned.

I felt his hands at the back of my head, and I wasn't ready. But he didn't care, clearly. My entire throat filled up and I gagged. His hands pushing and pulling me up and down. All I could do was take it. I even felt Devon's heels digging into my lower back, pushing me into the mattress. Rutting my rock-hard cock into soft duvet. He had control. I was his at this moment. To do with as he pleased. And I wondered whether he'd even needed to manhandle me to get me there.

One of his hands left my head to grab onto the sheets. I reached out and took it in mine. Squeezing. I just wanted to. His other hand was still pumping my head up and down as his hips bucked into me. Like a cowboy. The smell of his pubes as they tickled my nose was enough to make my eyes roll back into my head. His eyes were still on mine.

The girl's comments were muffled by his thighs, still squeezing me. Trapping me.

I didn't know how long it took. All I know is that my eyes were watering and I was catching my breath when it was over. Not the cool wink, licking of lips and smile I'd wanted to go for. The sticky, salty remnants of his orgasm were tickling the back of my throat and I coughed. My own dick still leaking and resting in a puddle on the girls' duvet. I had cum somewhere halfway through.

I was completely dazed, so I hadn't heard it when the girls started pleasuring each other.

Thank fuck for that

I coughed again into Devon's lap and looked up at him.

Still

Fire

"Oh my god, Devon. Take it easy on our new friend, would you?" The one girl moaned, three of, the other's... Sofia's fingers disappearing into her pussy.

It was as if Devon snapped out of it then. The question made him look up from my face. And then his eyes darted between me and them. For a moment, I wasn't sure what he was going to do. I was half expecting him to punch me in the face and leave.

What I didn't expect was for him to practically leap off the bed, apologizing to the girls about a thousand times and pulling his clothes back on like a madman. His cock still hard and wet from my efforts. Once he was clothed, and wearing one of my socks, he strode to the bedroom door and looked back at me.

"... Well? The fuck are you waiting for?"

He didn't need to ask me twice. I copied him and joined him at the door. Looking down into his eyes as he apologized to the girls one last time.

"I'm so sorry.. it's just. We're old friends and all and, you know... it'll just be awkward with you two there... sorry." Devon explained to them, smacking my ass to lighten the tension.

One of them looked disappointed but couldn't help smiling at the other's fits of laughter.

"This is the second fucking time, Cat. Next time, I pick 'em." She turned to us. "Get out of here, you immature

fucking

boys. Get lost."

And we did. Devon pulling me out of the apartment by my collar. I was dazed and confused. And horny as all hell so I just followed him. I had eyes only for him. Devon was laughing to himself when we got outside and reached the sidewalk in front of the apartment building.

I reached out a hand to cup his face and bring it closer to mine. But Devon stepped back.

"Yeah, right." He scoffed. Pushing my hand away and stepping back even further.

"What." I heard myself say.

"Thanks for blowing up another one of my nights out." Devon muttered. "I'll see you on Monday. Bye."

I was stunned, looking at him as he made to walk away from me. Again.

"Hey!" I yelled. And Devon turned back, clearly annoyed.

"What, Townsend?"

I didn't know what to say, so I said, "You're wearing my sock."

Devon frowned and raised both of his pants' legs to check. I smiled at how cute suddenly looked. Left one, white ankle socks. And on the right, my striped tube sock. Completely different.

"Oh, for fuck's sake. You gotta be kidding me." He scolded himself as he kicked off his white sneaker, pulled off my sock as he hopped on one leg and threw it at my face. I sniffed it, making his face scrunch up. Then he turned around again and started to walk away.

"Hey!"

"What now?!"

"Don't you want yours back?" I dangled his sock in my hand, grinning at him.

"I got a spare, thanks. Enjoy. Sniff it, jerk yourself off with it. I don't care!" Devon yelled over his shoulder.

"I will, thanks Dev!"

"Don't call me Dev!"

"Okay, Dev! See ya Monday Dev!"

I made sure he saw me sniff his sock as well, chuckling at him as his eyes widened. He shook his head one last time before rounding a corner.

I smacked my lips, savoring the last bits of his spunk on my lips and pocketing his sock.

"You still got it, Luke." I patted my own chest as I walked the other way, in search of a cab.

"Kinda."

---

"Fucking shit!"

I sucked on the tip of my thumb and dropped the razor blade in the sink. Why the fuck do they make the safeguard so impossible to remove?

Looking for a band-aid, I immediately forgot to not use my bleeding thumb and left small blood stains all over the white cabinets. White cabinets in my new apartment, that Sam had kindly picked out and installed the day before I got here.

My Sunday was not going so well.

Lucas was racing through my mind.

Lucas in the office

Naked Lucas at Senses

Lucas drinking beer at the club

Naked Lucas, next to me in bed

Lucas sucking my dick

Lucas' puppy dog eyes before I laid a kiss on him

Lucas grinning at me, with my sock at his nose

Lucas calling me Dev

All these images preoccupied me when I made coffee. When I went for a run. When I showered and now, when I was about to shave.

Now, as I bandaged my thumb, new images popped into my head.

Lucas nicking himself while shaving

Lucas getting fired from his job

Lucas getting turned down by a hot guy

Lucas being run over by a bus

With my face on it

I continued to trace my jaw and my chin, careful not to cut off the tiny mole on its left side. My

beauty spot

as my mom used to call it. Which had been the bane of shaving quickly for about eleven years now.

I finished and cringed at the prickly sensation of my after-shave lotion. I was having dinner with Sam later, and he had standards. Especially since he wanted all of The Hague to see

"That the new hotshot in town is in training to become my future husband."

Sam would have no trouble at all finding the very best candidates available lining right up for him, of course. I just hoped that Sam hadn't seen me leave with Lucas in tow the other night. And that Lucas hadn't been decent enough to shoot Tania a text saying where he went, or with whom.