Warning:
Firstly, I'm new to this whole writing thing. Secondly, I have a bad sense of humour and that tends to be present even in my most intense romance/ sex scenes. Lastly, if you want more you have to tell me, I lose interest in stories easily and will probably not finish anything I start unless someone is hounding me.
Enjoy.
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Impossible Love 01
I'm what most guys call 'Mr. Fucking Perfect My Ass' and what most girls moan 'Mr. Perfect Ass Fucking'.
It's no surprise because I'm not very tall and have mischievous girlish good looks rather then drool-worthy man muscle rippling through my delicate frame. The guys have no idea why the women love me because I'm no jock and secrete no manly body odour. But to the girls, I'm a real life anime character, who looks sensitive but has a dark dominating playfulness deep inside.
Sensitive my shiny white arse, the only thing I'm sensitive to is how my hair looks when it's really windy. That's right, I'm a narcissistic, selfish little bastard and I love every inch of it.
And that's what makes me such a potent mix. I'm hot, and I know it. The visual and the attitude combined does wonders when you want to get into someone's pants.
So you could have guessed the shock I felt when I was informed by my less-then-abusive uncle that I was to be moved to a private, all-boys boarding school. For once in my over-sexed life I was faced with the daunting issue of self-masturbation.
Smiling gleefully at me over his morning newspaper, my uncle's double chin wobbled erratically as he described to me all the fun I would have. Apparently it was his old high school, where he had been football captain and school captain and blah blah blah blah...
It was so like him to ignore me in his plans for MY life, which is painfully punctuated by the way he continues to talk to me as if I was still at the table when I am upstairs packing my stuff. I have suspicions that he has an imaginary version of me that he has created just so he could torture me with his incessant chattering even when I'm not physically around. The bastard.
Though, at least I would be getting away from him and my old high school. Due to my tendencies to love myself more than the flavour of the week, the school bitch had put a bounty on my head and was driving me insane with her dictionary-length love letters.
Finding one of the said bitch's love letters tucked into the side of my school bag I crumple it up and toss it angrily at my desk. Then, being the OC (Obsessively Compulsive) person I am, I stood up, picked up the letter, and folded it neatly before placing it carefully in my waste basket. Yeah, I have problems.
After a week of being silently pissed at my bastard of an uncle and packing and repacking I finally found myself at my new room and spraying everything with disinfectant. I could see dust everywhere and the discovery of a cockroach had me hyperventilating into a brown paper bag.
An hour of spraying, hyperventilation and cussing in four different languages finally convinced me I needed my pills.
Rummaging through my bag I felt the cold hand of reality go down my pants, I'd forgotten to pack my pills. But that was impossible! I was so meticulous that I even packed my own toilet paper so that I wouldn't have to suffer the rasp of cheap, nameless brands on my tenders.
But it soon became apparent with everything neatly lined up on my bed covers that my pills had somehow deceased along the way. My over analysing and paranoid mind immediately brought up the prospect that this was a part of one of my uncle's sick jokes, but I knew that was untrue. He cared too much for his own reputation to let me go to his old school without pills, because without pills, I have the potential to commit acts of manslaughter and aggravated assault.
Just as I was about to reinitiate hyperventilation into my now soggy brown paper bag, the door to my room swang open and a bear of man leapt in. What was this, some kind of preschool entertainment session?
"Welcome roomie!" He bellowed, and before I could blink he had me in a painful headlock while he knuckled down on my head with a determined fist. Somehow I got the feeling God hated me.
Reeling out of shock and into panic about my hair, I brought my elbow down hard on his steel abbs. A bit of pain flickered across his features but I was in AGONY. What the fuck did this steroid junkie take!?
Quickly backing up to my bed I noticed that the guy had brought an audience. All of them were big, bulking, beefy brutes; need I go on with the alliteration for emphasis?