The morning sun filtered through sheer curtains that shimmered with a dazzling cool shade of an almost lemonade color. Soft tendrils of light stretched over the room, spreading its passionate warmth in the crisp November early morning sunrise. Quiet filled the peaceful setting as if taking a contented breath of relief.
The door of the room opened softly and in stepped a somber young man of twenty-four. His long sandy brown hair was pulled back in a single braid at the base of his head to just below the small of his back where it was tied. The ends danced over his slim rounded buttocks, as if to tease. Crisp emerald eyes moved over the sleeping figure of his lover in a caressing manner.
He carried a small tray in his dainty hands that on it was placed a tall glass of ice water and a Goody Powder. With care and graceful movements, he placed the tray on the night table beside the bed, then sat on the edge and leaned across the bed to his sweetheart. With only minute hesitation, he peeled the covers from the lovely face to reveal it.
The hand was gentle that brushed the unruly raven waves of hair from his sleeping face—always hoping for another opportunity to touch those waves, to comb the fingers through its moderate lengths. It was like brushing ones palm over satin or loose strands of silk that might slip through one's fingers. He loved the feel of his lover's hair and as often as was allowed, he caressed it.
"Gabe," he whispered softly, the sound of the name on his breath brought a shiver to him, knowing his love might be somewhat difficult that day.
Gabriel was a lost soul searching for something he had yet to find. It troubled him that Gabriel all too often would look in the wrong places. More often that not, he would come home in the wee hours of the morning drunk or high or both and could never tell his long time lover where he had been or with whom.
But, Bri loved Gabriel, desperately, and refused to leave or abandon him. They had grown up together in the same neighborhood, gone to school together, had most of their classes together. They were inseparable—the two of them, constantly together. If anyone ever saw one of them, the other was very close by.
Then one night Gabe rushed into Brighton's room, his face showed terror and a depth of hurt that Bri had never seen before. The once carefree spirit of Gabriel had been struck and broken and Bri had never known it was going on consistently.
"You have to let me stay here with you tonight. I can't go home, Bri. Please, let me stay," he had begged.
"It's not really up to me, Gabe. But I don't see why my parents wouldn't agree. Just let me ask."
Of course, Bri's parents did consent to it and Gabriel finally calmed down after a long 'family discussion' with them. They had always been there for Gabe at anytime he needed council or just wanted to have some type of parental attention. Gabriel loved Bri's parents deeply, more so than his own father whom he feared and despised with bitterness.
It was on that very night that the news had come via two uniformed officers who came calling to bear the sad tidings that Gabriel's father had been shot in the head in an empty lot that he proposed to sell. The police asked hundreds of questions of Gabriel, Bri and Bri's parents whose stories all collaborated. And there had been witnesses that had seen Gabe running from his father's house being chased by him that was screaming and yelling at Gabriel. They had seen Gabe run down the street and into Bri's parent's yard where the frightful boy was received.
And though the killer had never been found Gabe secretly had been relieved that he had never to go back to that house or his father again. Bri's parents took him in, supported him and loved him as their own all through high school and into college where his closest friend followed. It was there that they had discovered their secret desires, quickly becoming lovers.
"Gabe," he spoke only a little louder, then smiled as his lover stirred gently.
"Please, Bri," Gabe muttered and the stench of stale alcohol wafted up, causing Bri to coil a bit.
"Come on, baby, you promised," he almost whispered.
"I know, sweetie," Gabriel sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, baby. I'll get up," he mumbled, the heaviness of his weakened and hung over state almost overwhelming to him. But he turned and smiled faintly at Bri, even though it hurt to do it. He loved his sweetheart's touch and his gentleness.
"I brought you a glass of water and a goody powder," Bri whispered.
Gabriel moaned and smiled broader then, so pleased that Bri had once again been so thoughtful.
"I love you, Gabe," Bri rested his head on his lover's belly.
Slowly, lethargically, Gabriel lifted his hand, stroking Bri's head and face lightly. "I know, baby. I love you too."
And he did love Bri as much as he knew how. Bri had always been his one and only lover. But something was missing; something he longed to give Bri yet could not ever seem to find it. There was something so dark within him, so void—empty and faceless. He could never express what it was to his lover and had often tried. Still, it existed and gripped him so tight that it was just before crippling to Gabriel.
"Happy birthday, baby," he muttered to Bri with a tender smile and actually opened his aching blue eyes to look down at his lover.
"Thanks, Gabe," Bri returned his lover's sweetness with a giddy brightening that always made Gabriel laugh.
It seemed the laugh woke him more, though it was painful, he refused to withhold it. He pushed himself up against the headboard—hating that Bri would move, but he knew if he didn't sit up, he'd fall right back to sleep. As he leaned back against the smooth heavy wood, Bri sat up and reached for the pack of power and glass.
He first gave the pack to Gabriel and watched him fumble at opening it. But Gabe finally managed, turning the spread paper up between his lips and tapped the paper lightly to ensure all of the powder slid into his mouth. With a violent shudder and grimace, he took the glass from Bri's hand and sucked down the water until it all was gone.
Then with a sigh, he leaned his head back against the headboard and wished he could stop his self-destructive ways. He knew he was hurting Bri by making him watch everytime he'd return home stumbling drunk. And his lover was so patient and kind every morning when he would slip into bed beside Bri. Most times he could manage a good enough erection for a little roll with Bri, but not that morning. He wasn't able to begin to get it up, being as drunk as he was.
Gabe's face darkened, as he rested against the headboard, then let out a very displeased groan.
"What's the matter, babe?" Bri scooted closer.
Gabriel lifted his head and looked to Bri. "It's nothing, babe. I just hate that I couldn't satisfy you this morning."
"Oh, it's all right, Gabe. I still got to hold you."
"No, Bri," Gabriel snapped. "It's not all right!"
"Would you stop, please? I told you it was all right. So, just drop it," Bri became firm.
Gabriel stared long at him for a minute or two, a little shocked by Bri's sudden definitive attitude. He had always been restrained and submissive to Gabe, until then.
He decided that he felt well enough to shower.
"I'll go get my shower, babe," he moved slowly, as Bri stood.
