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Tyler
Those few weeks of 'living safe' were a drag. I ran out of interesting things to cook, no matter how many recipes I googled. I didn't eat spicy food so that halved everything at least. When I was regularly bottoming in sex I just wasn't going to risk spices. Sometimes Darren could go so hard and rough I needed a few days' break anyways. Especially if he wanted me to stay tight. Jesus.
We had a lot of sex. It was one of the more entertaining things to do.
Zack made a speedy recovery and I wasn't surprised. I think he demanded some kind of new respect at the workplace, like he could just push into a queue at the canteen if he wanted. He was like a kid who everyone avoided on the playground now. I kept forgetting that him being a hardnut wasn't normal to everyone else.
Amelia was impatiently waiting for his rib to get better. After the initial horror and worry was over, it dawned on her that her man had taken on four guys, and essentially won. Her husband was a fucking stud. One lunchtime when he had that goofy grin on his face and she just raised an eyebrow at him, I knew she had finally given him the loving she thought he deserved.
We had a legitimately finished drone in the labs, and we flew it around like kids at Christmas, trying to see how hard we could crash it until it broke. We weren't pissing around - it was a real test. Maybe just a very fun one. It felt good to report up to Darren's office with the news, and invite him to see it.
People were clueing in to our relationship. I'd never felt so proud of something in my life. I wanted everyone to know I was with this man. He was mine. His hitching chuckle that made his chest bounce. His beautifully trimmed bearded jaw, his perfectly straight hair. How he looked so dapper in a suit. Nobody knew what he looked like beneath those clothes, but I did, and it was amazing.
He got out of my car every morning, and he got into it every night.
Summer was drawing to its end. There'd slowly be less mosquitoes, that September flux of craneflies buzzing everywhere instead. The year was going surprisingly fast, and yet it felt like so much had happened.
There were still some tensions beneath the surface Darren, but he seemed to get over his rough patch and relax again. I couldn't judge him for it. I didn't know how anyone managed to live with a case like that hanging over their lives. He only seemed to be truly happy whenever he forgot about it.
We didn't hear from Jackson in weeks, so life went on.
At some point I almost couldn't remember why we were 'living safe' in the first place. We first broke it when we went out to eat with Zack and Amelia. A second time when Darren was invited out, surprisingly, by Marcus. Who was also supposed to be 'living safe'.
They were hilariously awkward when they talked. It was like Marcus was trying really hard to accept that his cousin was gay, but couldn't. He kept looking between us, as if his brain was short-circuiting every few minutes. His wife, Kate, was much more laid back and friendly, and we sat trying not to laugh when Darren and Marcus kicked off into a petty argument, sounding for all they were worth, like a pair of 12 year olds.
"Have you ever gotten along with him?" I asked once we were driving home.
"Nope."
"He seems a bit of a twat."
"Youngest spoilt brat syndrome, all his life."
"Do you actually get along with anyone in your family?"
He sighed. "I used to get along great with Jamie. Before the accident."
"Sorry."
"What, I can never talk about it?" It was good to see him smile. His wakings from the nightmares about it had chilled me to the bone. "Andy was always so much older, like an adult when I was still a child. I saw him a lot, since he was running business with my father, but he was just like another authority figure. Never had problems with Adrianne, even if she was a right bitch when she was fourteen or so. I just can't do it with Marcus, however much I try. We've never gotten along."
"How come you were an only child when your aunt popped out so many?"
"Because my mother died giving birth to me."
"... Holy shit. I am so sorry." Why the fuck hadn't I known this sooner?
"Why? I never knew her."
"Jesus Christ, Darren." I had never heard his mother mentioned in conversation, ever, yet hearing that she was dead was still a shock.
"I don't have a lucky family, you know this." He grinned at me. "When am I gonna meet yours?"
"Oh, erm." I hadn't really given thought to that. "You probably don't want to."
"Why?"
"My sister still lives like a chav, my dad is a grumpy git, and my mum's not right in the head."
"And you think that's worse than mine? You think anything can be worse than my uncle?"
"You're gonna hear how many 'likes' and 'innits' my sis fits into a single sentence and want to rip your ears off."
He chuckled. "Big loop earrings?"
"Yup."
"Hair scraped back into a ponytail like a facelift?"
"Yup. She's a walking stereotype. I dare you to decipher one of her texts."
"Oh God, let me see."
I pulled out my phone and brought up one of the conversations I'd recently had with my sister, handing it over to him. I got to enjoy his laughter pretty much the rest of the drive home.
"And she's twenty-five?"
"The thing is, to be fair, I don't think I was much better two years ago, either."
"It's comedy gold, your perfect grammar against this."
"To give it to my family, I think we're pretty hilarious at Christmas dinners and shit."
*
We finally decided to go out, the two of us. It was the 1st of September. I was refilling my petrol tank when Darren suggested it, leaning out the window. Diana, that friend who owned the restaurant where we'd met, was wanting to know where the hell he'd been.
I had no objections.
My whole relationship with Darren was associated with the hot and sweaty summer of that year. I was curious how it would be once the weather got colder. I hadn't seen his winter wardrobe yet, but I'd got some glimpses of leather jackets that made me excited. Why was this man so damn suave and attractive?
He looked exactly like he'd done on our first date - loosened work clothes, black waistcoat over his shirt, hugging his body. We sat at the same window table. I was suffering so much nostalgia, and even Tracy came over to serve us.
"So," she teased. "Are you getting married?"
Darren sighed and rubbed his temple. "Tracy."
Nights out like this, with just the two of us, had been the norm for so long. Now it felt like something special and rare. Darren did his typical routine of switching his phone off and leaving it face down on the table. I had a WhatsApp group from work blinking away on mine, too, so I followed suit.
His flirting looks, his legs rubbing against mine beneath the table. I was getting all fired up again, yet at the same time felt so familiar with him, that it was this warm glow in my heart.
