Kate Spence was busy fussing about in the warm sunlight streaming in the high kitchen windows, crisscrossing the countertop and most of the floor, her hands busily and lovingly preparing a late afternoon lunch for her family. The kitchen was a scene that could easily frame a lifetime of childhood memories: bright summer's sunshine streaming in the high windows along one side of the kitchen, covering the floor and countertop with beautiful long finger-like shadows cast by leaves from the row of rainbow eucalyptus happily growing outside, all the while, creating lovely family memories, coupled with the bonus sweet summery smells from Kate's creations mixed with those from the garden outback, carried by a gentle warm breeze floating through the screen door... just a truly beautiful day.
A distant smile washed over her face, her mind still reliving the joy and high emotion of her recent road trip: taking her-their grandbabies to see her and Rob's family over the last 10days. The kids hadn't experienced the unreserved love of a grandparent with no parent to stop grammy-Spence, ha-ha - cuddles and a healthy dose of Grammy spoiling. They all loved it.
A sudden moment came over,not unlike a dark cloud, causing a pang of loss and heartbreak; painful thoughts of just how Rob and she would have enjoyed these times: they were both so looking forward to Rob's retirement, wanting to see the grandbabies, traveling domestically and abroad, even the mundane... getting on each other's nerves in their own sweet way. Above everything, she missed her adviser, confidant, lover and her best friend/ her soulmate. The emptiness, the hole that was left behind with losing him. Her heart counted the time in days, not the more than four years that had passed.
Kate wasn't alone with that pain: the Spence family and their widespread network of friends and associated families now connected through marriages also felt the loss. She especially saw it often in the quiet moments, etched on the face of her - their -- youngest, Jamie.
Not a day went by when she didn't feel that Rob was there with her in her heart, constantly being reminded of him by the little things she saw throughout her day surrounding her life, then her dreams at night.
A contented smile crossed her face: in her mind's eye, she could see their youngest son, a young version of Rob, before her eyes - almost a facsimile of the man she fell in love back at Duke University all those years ago, those days of young love, moments of racing hearts just with the thought of the other, traveling abroad, starting a family - it brought a tear to her eye.
Over the past couple of years, their 'little boy' - their baby - had filled out and grown, both physically and emotionally, taking his full shape as a man, a husband, a dad. And what an amazing dad he was to their three kids, and husband to Ben.
She always knew that he would be: Rob often said, 'Jamie was the one - the one that embodied the best of both of us.' Even from when he was a little boy, there was just something in the way he moved amongst people, engaged people, but above all, loved those around him. Neither friend or eventual lovers were spared the close, engaging and genuine friendship Jamie showered freely. He had always been able to almost shine like a light of love-friendship on people, if that makes sense, Rob would say. And to think that they almost lost Jamie twice - twice too many times - and now he and Ben had given her and Rob three amazing grandbabies.
Robert Spence, the man she still loved today, was gone, but what they built together, their family and love, comforted her. Taking a deep breath, smiling, she remarked, "He is still here." A single tear fell from her cheek. "Rob, I love you so. Your love sustains me," Kate whispered.
In an instant those dark thoughts were swept away. A soft loving smile warmed her face, basking in the pleasure she'd been able to give Jamie and Ben with a short no-kids-mini-break, some alone time; while she got to spoil the kids unencumbered by parental constraints. Their dads got some time too.
Her moments of quite reflection were pleasantly broken by a sweet little voice. "Grammy, can I please go out back and play?" Stepping a little closer, her granddaughter spoke in a hushed, whispered, voice, "I've had enough nap now." Nodding and looking way beyond her years, Kate struggled not to laugh at the total cuteness going on before her. "My brothers are still asleep. Promise I'll be quiet...I promise, Grammy." The little head was nodding still, as to reinforce the honesty of her answer.
"Sure, honey. Make sure you put on some sunblock and a hat, please," she said, leaning
down, kissing her granddaughter on the head. "I think your daddy is having a sleep on the garden lounge under the tree. He must be a little tired after putting the decorations up for July 4
th
BBQ. Maybe go wake him - it's almost supper time."
A few short skips across the kitchen and little Miss was busy putting her sunscreen and hat on. She paused for a moment after rubbing it all in, just like Grammy had shown her to do. "Look, Grammy," she said proudly, turning and holding out her hands to show her Grammy that she'd complied with the request. "Love you, Grammy."
Her little outstretched hand barely touched the screen door when she froze. The temptation was too much. There was time for more. Spinning around and skipping across the kitchen, she wrapped her arms around the legs of her grandmother. "Thank you, Grammy. I love it when you come to visit. Please don't go back home too soon - please stay some more."
"Oh, my sweetheart." Pulling her close by peppering the top of her sunhat with kisses, she replied, "I love visiting with you. You know it's the best part of being a Grammy. I get to come stay with you and your brothers too." Kate couldn't resist, so she gave an extra squeeze plus a few more kisses on the head of her granddaughter for good measure.
"I love you too, Grammy!" With that, the little girl skipped across the kitchen to the back door. She paused slightly, turning her head back. "Grammy, when will papa be home?"
"Not long, sweetheart," a smiling Kate Spence replied. Looking at the sight of her sweet granddaughter rocking back and forth in the doorway, her face was full of smiles. "He'll be home soon. His shift finished just about forty minutes ago."
"Okay. I don't know counting yet. Is that long?"
Kate shook her head at that - oh my how sweet. "No honey, not long at all," she smiled as the screen door flew open with enough force to put man back on the moon. No matter, she bolted out the back door, her target in mind.
..o0o..
Only slowing a little as she reached the edge of the back porch, she still managed to half-run down the three steps to the grass. Still ever-so-carefully counting aloud, she announced, "3-5-6! Yay! I'm counting now."
Her journey to the back of the yard continued at full pace with time for a few cartwheels along the way. The mid-afternoon sunshine, coupled with a gentle warm breeze, filled the yard. The smells of summer and gentle sunlight peeked through the trees, washing over her.
She drew closer and closer to her intended target: surrounded by a day's hard work of putting decorations up, the yard was awash of festoon lights crisscrossing, red-white-and-blue ribbons along the fences and also tied to a few of the tree trunks for good measure.
Slowing a little, just to correct her line of attack, then gathering pace, with a quick one, two, three steps across the small, decked area, Ava launched herself, landing a full-body throw-down on her unsuspecting victim who was taking a lazy afternoon nap in the warm sunshine. "Daddy!" She squealed.
Awakened by the crush of the four-year-old girl peppering her target with kisses and bouncing up and down on his stomach, suddenly there was movement: two strong arms wrapped around the little girl, sweeping her into a hug and peppering her with kisses over her face to howls and squeals of laughter.
Somewhat breathless after being used as a human trampoline, he said, "Hello sweetie. Don't you look beautiful in that sundress! Did Grammy pick that for you, hmmm?" Pulling her back in for another hug, he asked, "Where are your brothers - still asleep?"
The beaming little face nodded, as she snuggled down against her daddy's chest. "I picked the dress, daddy. Grammy showed me this one and another to choose before I had my nap." Running her hand down the dress trying to flatten a wrinkle that had just caught her eye, she cooed, "Love you, daddy," with a look in her eyes that could melt the coldest of hearts. "I like it when it is just us, when I don't have to share you with anyone. Asher is too noisy- boys are so messy - and Alex cries some, little Ava frowned.
"Boys can be sometimes. I like it when it's just you and me, too. It's our special time, hey."
Ava and her dad were enjoying their quiet moment together when a loud bang signalled their 'just us time' was about to come to an abrupt end. With laughter and squealing ringing out from the back of the house, they heard, "Stop it, Papa! You're tickling me... hahaha... hahaha. I'm gonna pee! Grammy, save me!! Ava, save me!" the young voice cried out, imploring help from someone, anyone.
