Jay's Loelife

chapter

thirteen

loren

[No new content]

****

Fuck

.

I squint through weighted eyelids. The pain pills do a good job of knocking me out, but the rest is fitful. I'm thinking a decent rest is a fool's dream. Everything hurts.

Everything

. I have injuries ranging from rope burns to rock abrasions, and of course, a shoulder dislocation.

A posterior dislocation they said. Rare. Mostly caused by lightning strikes, seizures, and...being slammed into the face of a mountain. Supposedly, it took four nurses, three bed sheets used as hoists, two x-rays, and several calls to Ortho to get my shoulder back in place. I don't remember any of it thanks to the wonder of twilight drugs. There's a video, supposedly. I haven't seen it but I'm sure I will.

I shift uncomfortably. Even my mattress, one of the best on the market, can't mask the pain. I may not have been conscious for the shoulder relocation attempts, but I feel each and every one of them as I shift. I take a shallow, agonizing breath, then drift into a completely unsatisfying sleep.

****

The mattress dips and my body tenses, setting fire everywhere. I clench my jaw and wait for the pain to subside. Isaac has been up my ass since he picked me up from the hospital, coddling me like an infant.

"Go away. I'm fine."

"The hell you are," Jay whispers. He pulls the sheets up to my neck and tucks it around me. "How do you feel?"

I don't even try to open my eyes. They're just so heavy and swollen. "Like I ran into a rock wall."

"God, Loren." Jay's voice cracks. He cups my face. His thumb grazes across the stitches in my cheek. "You look terrible."

"Crazy, I feel so good."

I take a breath and sneak a painful peek out my good eye. Jay is hovering over me like a storm cloud as he carefully catalogs every cut, bruise, scab, and stitch he can find, and there are many.

He sighs at the damage. "I saw the video."

I close my eye. Jay didn't react well when I was rock climbing during our road trip when nothing remotely dangerous had happened. Whatever his reaction was this time, it was enough to send him packing a week early from vacation.

"I almost threw up," he admitted.

My hands ball at my side. "You want me to apologize?" I ask tersely. "I'm sorry...that I broke Derek's fall. I won't do it again."

"Jesus, that's not what I meant. I'm just saying that the video wrecked me. It scared the crap out of me. I couldn't reach you and I didn't know how you were. It's a terrible feeling."

I'm too exhausted for this shit. "Well, things are great on my end. No need to worry."

Instead of taking the bait, Jay smooths the bed sheets. "Are you hungry? Isaac said you haven't eaten since yesterday. Looks like your kitchen is stocked, but I brought some stuff as well. What do you feel like?"

"I'm not hungry," I lie.

"You should eat anyway. Something light, like oatmeal."

I take a deep breath and heft myself up. My body instantly recoils and I fall back, breathing like I ran a marathon. "I have to piss," I bite out.

He hesitates. "Okay, but then you're coming back to bed."

I let him help me out of bed, but when he herds me like a sheep dog to the bathroom, I can't help but comment. "You want to hold my dick while I pee, too?"

"Does it look like the rest of your body? If so, I'll pass."

I try to close the door for privacy, but Jay is having none of that. He grabs the door above my head and lets himself in.

Whatever

. I push my sweatpants down with my good hand and do my business. The tension in the air thickens. From this angle, Jay can see all the bruises he didn't notice earlier. Like the gnarly one on my hip.

Instead of pulling my pants up, I push them all the way off. Even my largest sweatpants are too tight against my pulverized body. I stare at the crumbled pants and wonder how many muscles it would take to bend over and toss them in the hamper. Too many. I turn and leave the bathroom wearing nothing but one of Jay's forgotten shirts.

I limp to the kitchen. Jay's right, I need to eat. Before I can get there, Jay gently maneuvers me out of the way and takes over.

"I'm not a helpless child."

He looks up and smirks. "I should hope not."

"You don't have to coddle me."

That gives him a pause. He thinks about it, then he looks me dead in the eyes. "I do. I really do. It's my God given right as your boyfriend...that when you almost die a thousand feet in the air--when you smash against the face of a mountain, not once, not twice, but a dozen times--I get to drop what I'm doing and take care of you. And I won't feel guilty about it. I was terrified beyond anything I ever thought possible. So yeah, I'm going to coddle you because it's the only thing that makes me feel okay."

I slump down onto the chair and remember how it felt, the way my muscles shook, straining as they held on. It was a difficult climb. I never saw Derek coming. He slammed me at a weird angle. It's the first hit that dislocated my shoulder. It was the worst physical pain I ever felt. After that, everything happened so fast I couldn't get my head above water. I remember swinging away from the rock. I was spinning so fast; everything was a red blur. I couldn't hold on to the rope. At one point, I lost my grip and went into a death spin. It was like my legs got stuck in the merry-go-round from hell. I was fucking terrified. I knew there was no coming out alive. The next hit would kill me. I was sure of it.

Jay gathers me up in his arms. "Hey there. I got you. I love you, okay? You're home and you're safe. I'm here and there's nothing you can't ask of me, understand? I'm not going anywhere." He runs his hands through my hair as I breathe through the panic of it all. "I'm gonna take good care of you. You were brave for the camera but you can be weak for me."

I rest my forehead against his shoulder and fist his shirt. "It was bad," I tell him. "So fucking bad."

Jay cups my face and kisses my lips gently. "I know. You were spinning so fast, whipping around--" He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. When he looks at me again. I see the fear he lived through. "It was the worst thing I've ever seen."

No shit. I'm fucking shook, but Jay doesn't need to deal with my crap, so I smile weakly. "But I looked brave?"

"So brave. Braveheart."

"No one will know I pissed myself?"

"Really?"

"I was fucking scared."

Jay chuckles softly. "Me too."

"And I think my phone fell out of my pocket."

"That's replaceable."

I know, but I should document this whole thing and I'm not. I have a spare somewhere, but I can't find the energy to look for it. I'm missing out on content. I know it sounds stupid to focus on something so trivial, but I will want to share all this, even if it's not right away. As unfortunate as this whole thing is, it's a big deal. I want to share it.

Jay smirks at me, pulls his phone out, and hands it to me. "Log in to your Insta."

"

Hey, it's me, Jay Petermeyer. If you don't know by now, Loren--Loe--was in a pretty bad rock climbing accident. He's at home now, under my care. For the next week or so, I will keep everyone in the loop. Prepare yourself for lots of Loe sleeping. Anyway--" Jay moves around the kitchen, "--right now I'm making him some oatmeal. His favorite is steel cut with blueberries, heavy cream, and a pinch of brown sugar. And because he feels like hell, I'm going to give him two pinches."

He walks through the entire process. It's steel-cut oats, so it takes a while. By the time it's finished and the food is cooling, I feel better. Collected. Not on the verge of a panic attack.

"Do you want to address everyone? Give them an update?"

I actually feel up to it. Jay points the camera at me like he's just gonna record willy nilly. "No way. If we're going to shock everyone, we're going to do it with good lighting. There should be equipment around the corner, first door on the right."

When Jay comes back, I walk him through the setup. He starts to fix my hair, but I stop him. "It's better if we leave things looking the way they are."

"You're such a ratings whore," he teases. To some extent, he's right. The business revolves around engagement. It's not just how many followers you have but how many people watch your stories and, even more so, how many respond.

I wait for Jay to signal we're a go.

"

Hey All. Can you tell what's different about me? I'll give you a hint, it's not a new haircut. Well, I guess the real question is, what looks the same? If you didn't see it, in which case, lucky you, I experienced a minor--"

"--Major."

I roll my eyes at Jay. "

I had a mishap while rock climbing a few days ago. It was a pretty difficult climb. We were all a little fatigued towards the end. My buddy, Derek, lost his hold and ended up swinging into me. It was quite the ride. I walked away with a dislocated shoulder, a fractured cheekbone, and some pretty serious bruising. Despite the two black and swollen eyes, I didn't break my nose. I feel like I came out of a meat grinder but things really could've been worse. I appreciate all the support. I will try to post but the next few days, maybe weeks, will be quiet while I recover. I'm pretty exhausted--"

Jay flips the camera around. "Loe

needs to eat his food and rest but we'll be back. Remember, it doesn't matter if you're living the low life or the high life, just make sure you don't fall off a mountainside!"

He manages to switch the camera to me as I roll my eyes. It's the most I can do given my current state.

I walk him through posting the video. He puts the phone off to the side and dishes me up some food.

I don't think I have an appetite, but once the bowl is in front of me, I realize I'm starving. I can't eat it fast enough. "More?" I ask, hoping that I don't look like that kid from

Oliver Twist,

but knowing I probably do.

Jay looks at my empty bowl and smirks.

Yeah, yeah

. Wordlessly, he refills my bowl and makes sure I have enough water.

The aches and pains make it hard to sit. It's been a while since my last pain pill. Jay notices and immediately herds me back to the room. The bastard makes me brush my teeth and then begins to undress me.

That's when I realize..."Oh fuck. I was on camera with no fucking underwear!"

Jay laughs. "You think I would've posted the video if there was anything to see? How hard did you hit your head?"

I look down at my naked body and raise a brow. "Not hard enough to think there's a reason for me to be naked."

"Skin on skin has medical benefits," he explains. "It's science."

I can't argue with that. Jay pulls the shirt over my head and carefully untangles it from the sling. The last time I was naked with Jay, he couldn't keep his hands off me. He had me laid flat and screaming his name before the night was over. It's not like I expect anything to happen. My balls have gone into hibernation since the accident. Still, it's a little surprising that Jay has zero reaction to seeing me naked. Nothing. No movement. I gotta say, it's a first.

Then I catch my naked reflection in the mirror. That answers that question. I'm a certified walking boner killer. My entire left side is covered in dark purple blotches. It's bad but nothing compared to my hip and upper thigh. The bruising there is almost black. Then there's my shoulder and my face.

Fuck.

I lay on my back. Once I'm 'comfortable', Jay snuggles his giant body against mine. It's...nice. Even with the guys helping me down the rock, and then Isaac, Travis, and Corey smothering me, it's Jay that makes it seem bearable. He moves my leg, bending it at the knee and leaning it against his body. Then he runs his palm up and down my thigh. His touch is light and cautious. "Is that okay?"

The way he has my leg is actually taking pressure off the rest of my body. It feels amazing. My body instantly relaxes to the point I want to sleep. "It's really comfortable."

Encouraged, he does something similar to the other side. My legs are splayed obscenely, but I don't care. It's the most comfortable I've been in three days.

"When you've been in my business long enough, you learn lots of tricks. I'll use everything I've learned to make you feel good, okay?"

I yawn and nuzzle my face against his chest. "Okay," I reply, my brain vaguely registering the reason he'd need to know all these tricks.

****

I can't move. It's been six days since the accident and I hurt more now than I did three days ago. Jay says we should be over the hump in the next day or two. I don't know if I believe him. The next phase is death.

Jay's laying next to me, fully dressed, and watching me--recording me. I don't know when he sleeps. Breakfast is ready when I get out of bed, lunch is plated before I know I'm hungry, dinner is served in time to take meds before bed.

"Captivating content?" I ask, closing my eyes once more.

"I don't think I could post anything they don't love. These people are insatiable. They can't get enough."

"Have you taken a video of my feet? That will bring the crazies out."

He turns the camera off and tosses it to the side. "Now I can't use any of that without weirdos commenting. Thanks."

I laugh. They love him. They love the creepy videos of me sleeping and the way he dotes on me. Corey brought me a replacement phone but I kind of like what Jay is doing, so I haven't activated it. I have a team for a reason. I can live in this happy bubble for a minute.

Despite my teasing, Jay has increased my engagement by seven percent.

****

Jay pulls up as close to the entrance as he can get without driving over the curb. "Do you want me to help you in?"

I smile. "It's been two weeks since the accident. I'm more than capable of walking into the Physios office."

He frowns. "Dr. Buvanti is good but don't let her work your shoulder too hard."

"You said she's the best there is and that she helped you recover from multiple injuries, did she not? I mean, isn't that why you pulled strings so she'd see me?"

"Well, yeah..."

"Okay then. I'll see you in an hour."

Jay watches me get out of the SUV like he's seconds from jumping across the console and carrying me across the threshold of the physio's office. He's had a hard time letting me out of his sight these last two weeks. I can hardly pee without supervision. It's cute but mildly annoying. Now he doesn't have a choice but to leave me alone. If I wait any longer, my shoulder will begin to heal incorrectly. The dislocation really fucked shit up. There are talks of possible surgery. I won't consider it until I do everything my Physio tells me to do. Surgery will be the last ditch effort if the hard work fails.

I smile as I head in. I'm ready to get back to normal.

****

Leaving physical therapy feels like taking two steps back. I'm sore as fuck. No pain, no gain or so they say. I pass the mirror and glance at myself. My cheek still hurts to the touch but everything else is good. Stitches are out. The bruising is mostly gone except a particularly stubborn area on my hip and a few other lingering blotches.

Jay's dick has been perking up. He hasn't acted on it, nor will he. He's still keeping Jesus between us. After everything I've been through, I wonder how long he's going to make me wait.

****

I glance at the clock. I have about an hour before he gets home. I head to the bathroom to get ready. When I finish, I leave evidence in the bathroom. The last thing I need is for him to have a single reason to say no or to think he's going to hurt me.

The laundry room door squeaks when he comes in and a deep sigh emanates through the walls. Even from the kitchen, he sounds exhausted.

"Hey--" He stops mid-sentence and stares. I rest against the island, shirtless, his favorite gray sweatpants slung low on my hips.

I take one last drink of water then turn to Jay and smile. "Hey, how was your day?"

His eyes track me, racking up and down my torso as I near him. His tongue darts out, coating his lips. "Uh, it was good. You?"

I give him a simple hello kiss. "Great. Dr. Buvanti says things are looking good. I'm almost done with my sling."

Jay is still checking out my body and, for the first time, isn't noticing the sling. He shakes his head and steps away. "I should shower. It's been a busy day. I have crap all over my face from the photoshoot."

"Sounds good. I'm heading to bed. Are you staying up or--"

His eyes linger lower than respectable. "Uhh...I'll probably turn in." With one last backwards glance, Jay heads upstairs.

I clean up, lock the doors, and head upstairs to finish prepping or--un-prepping as it is.

As I crawl into bed, Jay enters the room wrapped in a towel. His normally blonde hair is dark and dripping wet. His body, fine as ever. Three hundred pounds of the sexiest fucking man I've ever seen.

He drops his towel and...yep. Thick in every way possible.

I sidle up to him, sliding my hand across that waist, over his stomach, and then further down...

He grabs my wrist. "What are you doing?"

I move my hand away from his crotch, but keep rubbing his body. Innocently, at first, then like a cat with catnip.

"Seriously, what are you doing?"

I slide my leg over his hips before he can stop me. Judging by what I feel against my ass, there won't be a fight. I rock against him. "It's been weeks. It's time you stopped coddling me."

"You're still hurt."

I grab his hand and put it around my dick. God. It's been forever. I close my eyes and moan. "But I'm not hurting. I'm feeling a lot better."

Jay snaps. He pulls me forward and kisses me, hard. I brace myself on my good arm and kiss him back. His hands rove my body until they land on my hips, pulling me on to him. Thanks to my forward thinking, he slides in with relative ease. Jay arches and his eyes roll back. I brace my hand on his chest and move up and down on him like it's my job. Slow at first, just to drive him crazy. Then faster.

"You feel so good around me," he moans. For someone who's been afraid to touch me, his grip on my hip borders painful.

I love it.

I ride him hard. He hits every good spot inside me and strokes my cock at the same time, sending me into a tailspin. After I cum, he carefully flips me over and fucks me until he cums.

****

"Why are you smirking?"

I smile and stretch out beside him, covering him with my body. "Because I played you like a fiddle."

Jay runs his fingers around my sling, over my bicep, and chuckles. Then he lifts my chin and looks at me with so much affection. "You are a master fiddliest."

With one arm, I lamely mimic a puppeteer making his puppets dance. "As long as you know how things rank between us."

He makes a noise and rolls his eyes at my lame joke, then runs his fingers through my hair. I can feel his thoughts. 'Yeah, Loren

. I'm

the puppet...

****

Since I'm not cleared to use the gym, unless I'm with Dr. Buvanti, I wrangle Jay into doing it. He needs very little convincing. He does very basic workout segments to begin with until finally recruiting his football friends. They run through typical NFL workout routines. They even do some HIIT and one very special, very hilarious, 80's themed Jane Fonda shit.

Viewership skyrockets.

****

I'm in my office reviewing the plan for June. I can't believe how much time has passed since the accident. I don't exactly know when things went from fucking terrible to back to my old self but I'm feeling pretty damn good. Everything else is back to normal, even though I am still in physical therapy. Perfect timing now that Jay is getting ready to start his season. He won't have time to babysit me anymore because he'll be worrying about himself. And I'll be worrying about him, too. He's been quick to act like me getting hurt is the end of the world. Well, news flash, him getting hurt would be the end of mine.