It is time.
I take a deep breath, trying desperately to calm my nerves as I cling to Jeremy's arm. We step through the threshold and into the party. Everything is the same as it always is, football jocks everywhere, hot chicks, drunk idiots.
Yet this time my role is different.
My heart is frantically thrumming in my chest, feeling the panic building as the first guy steps towards us, his hand outstretched as he pats Jeremy on the back and asks, "Who is the chick?"
Jeremy introduces me as Ashley, his girlfriend.
"Damn bro, I didn't think anyone would tie down this player," he calls across the room to three other guys who all come rushing over to see me. It is quite clear that they are all extremely hammered, at this point their veins are probably more alcohol than blood.
This relaxes me a little, at least here, I can pass for a girl.
The rest of the party goes pretty normally, it is very clear that the other footballers are jealous of Jeremy because of me, it is a feeling I have never had before, someone being jealous over not having me.
My confidence soars and by the end of the evening I am swaying my hips as I walk, drinking and laughing with the rest of the guys and generally feeling safe here.
All of these guys have known me for months and not a single one of them recognise me.
Jeremy goes to grab us a drink and I watch him from across the room, batting my eyes at the various studs eyeing me. Of course I have no interest in any of them, Jeremy is the only one I want.
But from my position here I can hear the conversation they are having.
"Jer, man, where did you find this chick honestly, we all want a piece of that ass."
The other footballers chuckle in agreement, cheering.
"I mean, we all know you aren't exactly the committed type... is she up for offer?"
My heart thuds in my ears, fuck. Another one chimes in, "Yeah man, share that pussy with your bros".
I look at Jeremy, I can see from his face that he is having internal conflict over this.
He looks at his friends before glancing back in my direction and sees me staring.
He looks me up and down before turning back to his friends.
One word leaves his lips, "No."
From his tone it leaves no question that he is not open to sharing, I am his and only his.
He turns his back on his friends as they all boo him, astonished that Jeremy has laid some kind of claim to exclusivity. When he reaches me Jeremy takes me by the hand and yanks me towards the stairs, we walk quickly upstairs past all of the drunk/passed out couples before coming to an empty bedroom.
He shoves me inside and locks the door before pushing me up against the wall.
My chest heaves as I breathe heavily, what is he doing.
