I didn't want to wake up this morning. Its just one of those days you want to stay in bed. The sky was looking like rain all day, but there wasn't a drop until right before after school practice. It got to the point that practice was cut short. I hope that doesn't hurt us for the game.
Ayden told me he was going to come over after he made sure his sisters were safe. Apparently when he came home the baby had a messy diaper and none of the girls had been fed since he'd given them breakfast that morning. Some people just shouldn't have kids.
While I'm waiting for him, I've been just poking around the Internet. No porn though. Whenever I try to watch it now, I think about what Ayden did out of desperation and I wonder if the people in the videos are that desperate too. I start to feel guilty watching it. Instead I've been Googling the logistics of anal sex. I feel weird doing that, but if Ayden and I ever get to that point, I want to know what to do so I don't end up hurting him. I don't know when it will be. Half of me (the lower half), wants it to be now, but the other half wouldn't mind waiting.
I think I love him or at least I'm really close to loving him.
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One of my daydreams came true when Ayden came over and I have to say it's better than I pictured it. I keep playing it over and over in my head, like a movie.
We had the house to ourselves because my mom wasn't home yet. He was soaking wet because the rain was really bad. Once he got inside he was shivering in his wet clothes. I offered him some of my clothes to change into. I was trying to be a gentleman, so I didn't jump on him right then. Instead I waited outside the bathroom while he changed into a pair of my pajama pants and a shirt. The clothes were really big on him, almost falling off.
We went to room and he sat on the bed. I sat at my desk because I knew if I was on the bed with him I'd be all over him. "How are your sisters?" I asked.
He smiled slightly. "They're good. Wondering when you're going to take them to get pizza again."
I laughed. "Well, maybe next weekend I'll take them."
"They'd love that."
"Good. I'm glad. Usually kids don't like me."
"They aren't hard to please," he said, smiling a bit more. "I need to thank Kitty again for all that stuff. We really needed it. My parents both get disability checks, but sometimes that's not enough and well...my dad refuses to let any of his money go to my sisters because they aren't really his. And he always knows if I try to use it. He makes me bring receipts. I guess he wouldn't be able to do anything about it if I did use it but...I guess the memories..." He pushed his wet hair out of his face and took a deep breath. "Sorry."
"It's alright. You can talk to me." I really wanted him to talk to me, to tell me more. I wanted him to get it out and more importantly I wanted to help him feel better.
He looked around my room at my posters like he was evaluating the teams I had represented there. He looked at my pile of sports equipment in the corner. "I just...I didn't think..."
I held up my hand to stop him. "I hope you'll stop seeing me as the dumb jock and start seeing me as someone who cares about you. Because I do care."
He blushed. "I don't think you're dumb."
"Really now?"
"I always knew you were different. You've always seemed smart to me. And like you cared a lot. You're the only one that never made fun of me."
I shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant about it, but inside I was dancing. He remembered that I'd never bullied him. Which meant he'd noticed me. I don't know why that means so much to me but it really does. "I wish they wouldn't do that to you," I said.
He shrugged and said, "It's not so bad." But I could tell he was lying.
"Ayden, I'm going to try as hard as I can to get them to stop." He smiled, but didn't look like he believed me. "I'm serious."
"I know you are, Josh, but those people won't change."
"Well, they suck," I said and it sounded a lot like I was pouting.
Ayden laughed a little bit. "You're so...I hate to keep saying different but, you really are."
That made me do that little mental happy dance thing again. "I don't mind it. I want to show you I'm not like everyone else."
"You're doing a good job so far," he said. The look in his eyes made it clear it would be OK for me to join him on the bed so I did.
I settled comfortably beside Ayden and put my arm around him. He laid his head on my chest and just that simple action made me get a little hard. I shifted a little bit to allow some room in my pants.
We laid like that for a while. I started playing with his hair. I could feel the heat coming off of his skin. He looked up at me, his eyes so wide and innocent. I pressed my lips against him, moving so that he was laying flat on his back and I was straddling his hips. When I looked down, I could see that he was just as turned on as me. I pressed my hips to his and rocked them back and forth a little. He gasped, staring up at me with a look that was a mixture of surprise and pleasure.
