Just a Iss

Hey all,

This is my very first attempt at posting a story of my very own, even though I've been following this site and reading submissions since around 2007. I don't have an editor so please excuse any spelling or grammatical errors. Also the story was written in dribs and drabs over 4 weeks so it might have some consistency errors. Its kind of a love story so anyone looking for something quick to get his or her rocks off... sorry, but try read it you might enjoy it. Please feel free to comment but be kind I'm not Dickens or anything. I'm mainly posting this to gauge if I should write more or give up o that hobby.

Cheers, B.

P.S. This is a work of fiction, none of the characters are based on real people etc. Anyways enough from me hope you enjoy.

**

All he could do was stand there, stand there are his heart was ripped from his chest and torn into tiny insignificant pieces that he knew he'd never be able to put back together. At that moment Drew knew that all he had ever known would be changed forever, that all he had hoped and dreamed of would never be. He eventually got the feeling back in his legs, it was a burning sensation, one that told him to run and never look back; but the burn was good he thought. It was better than the bitter emptiness he felt inside. He got home, threw everything he had into bags and whatever else he could find. He wrote a quick note for his parents, he would attach it to the fridge, he thought to himself. They'd find it eventually, when they stopped living their own self obsessed lives and noticed he was gone. By then they'd never find him again. He would never come back, he couldn't, Drew would just have to start over, reinvent himself in a new town with a new life but he could NEVER come back.

**

On a cold and wet New York morning a greyhound bus pulled to a stop outside the bus station. The sun was just beginning to peak through the clouds, providing a soft illumination on what was a dull and miserable day. The passengers rapidly disembarked all in a rush to meet someone or get somewhere, whilst a boy with shaggy black hair and skin the colour of ivory sat in his seat patiently waiting. He had nowhere to be, and nobody was waiting for him. Drew realised that he was almost invisible, just another person in a big bustling city. The tears he'd been silently shedding since he left home 2 days ago had finally subsided leaving him looking dishevelled and exhausted. He thought back to the catalyst that had changed everything for him. The minute his world had ended.

"Hey little buddy, thanks for coming. I have some really important news to tell you..."

the words echoed in his head. Drew remembered the look in Liam's eyes. He had always been secretly in love with Liam. They had been the best of friends since they were small. Drew wiped away a stray tear as he thought of the term of endearment Liam had used. Drew wasn't much younger than Liam maybe a year at most. The main reason for the nickname was the huge size difference between the two friends. Drew was petite almost willowy in appearance, where as Liam was this huge muscled football jock. Not that Liam fell into that stereotype, he was kind and friendly and smart.

"I asked Jessica to marry me... and she said yes! Can you believe it? I'm so psyched."

It wasn't that Drew didn't think that Liam deserved all the happiness he could get, he did. He just couldn't stick around anymore. Not when every day he died a little more inside. He was sure that Liam would have asked him to be the best man, but how could he stand there and watch the man of his dreams marry somebody else, so he ran. He waited until nobody was around, until he could disappear without anyone seeing him. It was the only way to leave no trace for anyone to find him; he needed space and time. Drew knew that eventually they could catch up with him, but even if he could be left alone for a year or two he could begin to rebuild his life.

"I'll be okay, I can start again." Drew whispered to himself, willing himself to stand up and get off that bus. He knew that he could make it. He had everything he needed to succeed. He knew things could only get better, there was no way but up when you hit rock bottom. All he had to do is find a dance company willing to take him, and find a job to support him until that happened. He had saved up enough money and that combined with the trust fund he inherited on his 18

th

birthday a few months ago would mean he could find someplace to stay. It was just his heart that would never mend, and he had accepted that.

**

The curtain went up again as the whole auditorium ruptured into applause and cheering. The smile on Drew's face was genuine. He had made it. Three years of hard work had finally paid off as he stood centre stage to all the cheering and applause. It was moments like this that allowed him for the briefest of periods to forget. He was fully committed to the present he couldn't think of all that he'd lost. The pain, the love, the longing... all the things he had hidden inside were what allowed him to become a world renowned dancer, but when the lights went off when he got home to his lonely quiet apartment all he could think of was Liam.

"You joining us tonight Drew?" Tony asked as he slung his bag over his shoulder.

"I don't think so... I'm beat, maybe next time..." Drew began.

"Come on! You never come out with us. Its closing night, you were amazing, lets go have a few drinks with everybody else at a club and just cut loose. Your always so reserved and to yourself. Just once join us... Please?"

Drew was taken aback, he didn't think he was that bad. "Fine! As long as you quit nagging" he smiled

They headed out of the changing rooms and out the back exit. Tony yelled to the group congregated outside "He guys, look who I managed to convince to come!"

Drew playfully shoved Tony as everyone mock bowed and applauded Drew, "Alright, alright... so where we headed?"

Tony shook his head smiling with a cunning gleam in his eye "Nope, not telling, you'll find out soon enough." With that the crowd slowly started heading out in groups Drew joining Tony, Kevin and Melissa.

Kevin and Melissa were the lovebirds of the company, they'd fallen in love in their junior year of high school and had been together ever since. Kevin was an accountant that worked for the dance company, whilst Melissa was a dancer. They were fortunate to work for the same company and were glad that things had worked out the way they had. Melissa being the mother hen she was constantly mothered Drew and quickly became one of his closest friends. Drew was pulled out of his reverie as the car engine cut off. He peered out of the window seeing the neon lights of the club Pulse just down the road. Pulse was probably the hottest gay club in town at the moment. It was a place where all the hot and happening liked to hang out.

"Wow, we'll never get in..." Drew exclaimed once he caught sight of the exponentially long queue.

"Don't worry, we're on the guest list." Tony explained

"And just how did you manage to do that?" Drew asked incredulously

"It's one of the perks of hooking up with the manager... remember that guy I was telling you about last month, well it just so happens that he is the manager." Tony smirked.

They all headed to the front of the line Drew feeling a little embarrassed by the bitter remarks of those waiting in the line. Once at the front the grandiose entrance Tony walked up to the bouncer whispered to him, he turned around grinning as the velvet rope lifted allowing them access to the club.

**

Pulse certainly lived up to the reputation, the atmosphere inside was electric, the deco was classy and chic, and the music was fantastic. It was exactly what Drew had been missing but didn't know. He was so enclosed in his misery he was missing out on so much, but not tonight, tonight he would cut loose like never before.

The drinks flowed in a continuous stream from the countless shots to Drew's drink of choice vodka and coke. He was really having a fantastic time, and the selection of men to look at was divine.

"Lets dance!" he encouraged the group.

"Can you even dance to this music?" Nick joked.

Drew just stalked off towards the dance floor like he owned the room, throwing a smirk over his shoulder. If he could see himself he would have been glued to himself like almost every other person in the building, it was graceful, seductive, sensual and a little bit intimidating. By the time he reached the dance floor Dance Again started playing, he just spun on the spot and suddenly his body came alive gyrating and swivelling his hips in a hypnotizing motion. He looked back towards the booth where everyone was sitting, staring... Nick's mouth was gaping open; others were in similar predicaments all shocked that the uptight lead dancer could dance like that.

Once Drew hit the floor he didn't leave for almost 2 hours, everything was a blur of various dance partners all trying to hold his attention, all mesmerized by Drew.

As the song Sure Thing started up Drew started walking off the floor when a solid chest pressed up against him, his body responded on autopilot grinding his hips against his latest partner. As he stretched his arm behind him to caress his latest dance partner's neck they said, "What are you doing?" The voice immediately stilled Drew; the voice was one he could never forget, one that haunted him every night when he lay awake in bed. He froze, and slowly started trembling, Drew felt his face flush and tears start to prickle his eyes.

Just as Drew started to react trying to get away, strong arms grabbed him by his shoulders spinning him around, Drew looked into those eyes for a fraction of a second only to turn away as he tried to push himself away from Liam.

"Liam, what are you doing here?" he croaked

"Now is that any way to greet your oldest and best friend?" Liam accused.

"I...I..."

"Sorry, former best friend, otherwise you wouldn't have left the way you did. Like I never existed or mattered to you. Do you know what it did to me?" he shouted

"Sorry is everything alright? Drew, you okay honey?" Melissa asked having noticed Drew's panicked expression earlier "And who are you holding him like that?"

"Its none of your business, sorry to be rude but this is a private conversation." Liam snapped

"Well seeing as Drew is here with me and I don't know you from Adam I think it's very much my concern!" Melissa retorted beginning to lose her cool.

"Mel it's fine, just give us a second, I'm sure that Liam will say what he needs to say and be gone after. I'll be okay." Drew stammered looking far less certain than he hoped he would.

Mel's did a double take at the mention of the name Liam. Of course she know about Liam, she had goaded Drew about being single for weeks until he had broken down and told her everything. She gave Drew one last sympathetic smile and started to walk away but not before telling him to signal for reinforcement if it was needed.

Finding courage he didn't know he had Drew stopped fighting against Liam, he relaxed enough that Liam loosened his grip on him he took a deep breath and looked up into those jade green eyes "Do you mind letting go? I'm not going anywhere."

Liam hesitated for a second but the intensity in Drew's eyes spoke volumes and he released Drew. "Why did you leave? You didn't even saw goodbye..." Liam whispered

"Look Liam it's complicated, I was stuck in a position that was slowly killing me. I had to get out, and I knew that if I told anyone where I was going or planning on doing sooner or later I'd be dragged back home and be right back in the same position."

"You could have come to me, I've never accused you. I have ALWAYS supported you. I would have helped, been there for you..." Liam accused

"The last time I saw you, you told me you were getting married. I couldn't drag you into this mess with me. I just needed a clean break. I'm happy now and now I know I'll never come back. I've moved on with my life, and so have you!"

"Well your still coming home! Its important!" Liam growled

"I can't we're just about to start rehearsals on the new production, it's a bad time, and I don't know what could be so important that I'd need to drop everything and go home for so 'family reunion'..."

"Your mum and dad we're in a car accident, they're DEAD!" Liam finally snapped.

Drew immediately paled, all the fight left his body as he began to fall to the floor. He was suddenly enveloped in Liam's strong arms, those warm comforting arms. He took a chocking breath as the familiar smells that were Liam's favourite perfume combined with a fragrance that was entirely Liam. All of a sudden Drew felt like he was suffocating on it, he took a deep shuddering breath and passed out.

**

Drew slowly roused from the blackness that had enveloped him; he could hear someone faintly calling his name... "Drew honey... Drew wake up!" his eyes finally began to focused as he looked up into Mel's deeply concerned eyes.

"Mel... What's going on?" Drew began as his shifting eyes finally found Liam and the news finally began to sink in. his breath caught and he let out a strangled cry. Drew started sobbing and didn't object as Liam rushed over to him and lifted him into his arms. He rapped his arms around Liam's neck allowing Liam to carry him out of the club.

Drew faintly heard Liam talking to the others as he was placed in the back of the car; Mel joined him in the back seat. "I have to take him back..." he heard Liam explaining.

"Well we're coming with you. Sorry to be rude but you don't know Drew like we do!" Mel replied.

"Look lady, I've known Drew nearly all my life. I'm sure I know him far better than you ever will!" Liam snapped at Mel's comment.

"Do you even know why he left?" Mel barked... there was a long tense silence in which Drew shuddered thinking Mel would betray his confidence. He began to object stuttering and crying even harder. "Shh honey its okay" Mel whispered before turning back to Liam "You may have known the old Drew, but we were here to pick up the pieces when his world fell apart. We are his family! He needs us and whether you like it or not we're not leaving his side." She finished

"Fine." Liam sighed.

Drew hugged onto Mel and quickly fell asleep.

**

Drew stood in his old room; it was exactly how he left it three years ago. He sighed as he put on his black jacket and fixed his tie in place. The last few days were a blur of family friends paying their condolences and planning the details of his parents' funeral. Drew had never really had the best of relationships with his parents; he was the bi-product of two career driven individuals that had never been around. Still he felt some sort of loss knowing that he was truly and forever alone. He hadn't really been in touch with his parents since he had left, just a few emails, mainly telling them he was alright and wasn't coming home despite their pleading for him to go home. He felt somewhat guilty that he hadn't seen them one more time, but he knew that if he came home he would have had to face Liam, and that was something he never had the courage to do. There was a hesitant knock on the door. "Drew? Everything alright in there?" Mel asked.

"Come in" he replied.

Mel opened the door walking in and smiling tensely at him.

He quickly walked up to her and wrapped her in a tight hug. "Thank you so much. I couldn't have done this without you. I would have never been able to face Liam without you."

"That's alright sweetie. That's what friends are for. Besides, once this is all over we'll go back to New York and you'll never have to see Liam again." She said into his hair.

Drew jerked up as he heard the door slam shut behind Mel. He rushed to open it and peered outside to see Liam walking away. He cringed as he saw Liam rushing towards the stairs and knew that he would have to say something to him before he left. He sighed and rubbed his temples. "Damn it!" he muttered looking at Mel he saw the hurt on her face "I'm sorry, its not your fault. I was just hoping I wouldn't have to speak to him, I don't think I have the strength for it." He explained.

"Its okay, but I really think you should talk to him, try and explain things. I can see that he cares for you. He's been here every moment he could and he looks like he's hurting just as much as you are."

"I know. It's just that I scared that if we're alone together I might do or say something stupid. He has a life, a family. I'm not selfish enough to do anything to spoil that for him. That's part of the reason I decided to leave."

"I'm not going to meddle in your life sweetheart, it's just that it seems to me that you need to get closure in order to move on with your life." Mel couldn't say more than that. She needed Drew to make to his own decisions when it came to Liam, but she needed to nudge him into talking to Liam, there was definitely something going on between the two of them that Drew wouldn't let himself see. "You ready to go?" she asked.

Drew took a deep calming breath and sighed "No, but I think its time."

**

The funeral had been a small affair with a few of his parents' closest friends; Liam and his folks were there, as well as Mel and Kevin. Drew only vaguely realised that Jessica hadn't been there on Liam's arm, but then again Drew and Jessica weren't the best of friends. She had always felt tense around Drew, like she knew about his feelings for Liam, but she had never said anything and Drew thought he kept his feelings pretty well hidden. Anyways there were too many emotions swirling in his head for him to contemplate it for to long.

As the last of the guests left the house Drew realised that Liam was still here and talking to an older gentleman. He walked up to them clearing his throat to get their attention. Liam looked up at Drew with a slightly drawn and weary look on his face.

"Drew, this is Mr Rosenstein. He was your parents' lawyer. He's brought over their will."

"Good afternoon Drew, I'm terribly sorry for your loss, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind getting the formalities out of the way as I am leaving town tomorrow and I know you're planning on heading back for New York as soon as possible."

"Sure," Drew slowly and unenthusiastically walked over to the couch and sat down.

"This is the last will and testament of Pamela and Steven Williams." Mr Rosenstein had then proceeded to read the will. Drew's parents had left everything to him, the house, almost a million dollars and there was also the life insurance money, which meant Drew would never have to worry about his finances again. "There's one last thing," Mr Rosenstein finished "Your parents asked me to give this to you, they explicitly said it was for you and you alone. Thank you for your time, I can show myself out." With that he stood and walked out.

Drew tried to swallow the lump in his throat as he stared at the envelope that had his name written in his mother's handwriting. Tears silently fell down his cheeks.

"Drew..." Liam began hesitantly. "I have to go to work, I know you've been avoiding me and have no desire to speak to me, but there are a few more things I need to say before you leave. I'll be back later." He frowned looking at his hands. "Make sure you're alone." Drew began to object but the sheer desperation and Liam's voice when he said, "this is important." Made Drew's heart clench and all he could do was nod still looking at the letter in his lap. With that Liam got up and left.

**

For the last two hours Drew had sat on the couch staring at the envelope trying to work up the courage to open the letter. Mel and Kevin had let Drew know that they would spend the night at a hotel to give him the space he needed for his conversation with Liam. As they had left Mel had grabbed Drew and hugged him whispering, "You can do this. Just trust yourself and if you need anything all you have to do is call." After which they left Drew to read the letter and face Liam.