Asper's Den

"Although time may take us into different places

I will still be patient with you

I hope you know... I won't let go..."

*****

I shifted away from Amir's protective arm around me. I couldn't raise my head to look his parents in the eyes. They had found us napping together, naked and covered in each other's cum. I wondered which one walked in first, and did he stop the others? And what did they see? Did we have that gross aftersex smell? I had been face down on his chest so his modesty was preserved. But my ass was on full display. They had to have seen me.

We sat there smooshed together on one end of the couch, me and Amir. The three of them were sitting in front of us, a panel. I couldn't look up. I didn't know what to say. This was one of my bigger fuck-ups.

The silence was awkward. Amir took his arm off of me then took my hand in his, our fingers interlaced. He said something to his father in Arabic and then Mr. Hamad answered in that language using a harsh tone. I could tell he was angry. I heard Emerson clear his throat. I looked up to see him staring me down, sizing me up, signing something to his husband. He wanted me out; I could feel it. I had done the unspeakable with his son.

"Kasper," Mr. Hamad started. I looked over at his heavy, brown eyes. "Unfortunately..." he started to say, but I knew what was coming. I'd once again brought problems for their family. The dam on my emotions broke and I felt myself on the edge of tears.

"I'm sorry," I interrupted and choked back the lump in my throat. "Please don't kick me out."

"Kick you out?" Mr. Hamad repeated like he wasn't sure what I meant.

"I just... we got caught up in the... I have nowhere to go... Please... Oh my god... I'm so sorry." I felt my heart beating in my ears and my face flush with embarrassment. I couldn't look at them.

"He's frightened," Ali said and I looked to see he was translating for Emerson, his and Amir's dad. "We scared him. He thinks we are going to hurt him. Assure him!" Emerson wasn't mad at me. I had misunderstood.

"You are scared, little one? Why? No one will hurt you here. You've done nothing to deserve that," Mr. Hamad said incredulously as though I wasn't facing the Hamad firing squad.

He came over to sit by me on the couch. Amir gripped my hand protectively as though his father was going to take me away. Mr. Hamad put his muscled arms around me and squished me against his chest. I turned my head to the side and saw Emerson looking at me with pity.

"I don't have anywhere else to go... Please," I felt my voice crack on the verge of tears.

"Oh little one. There is nothing to be afraid of. You see, Amir? He has no other choice and you took advantage of him. He is worried we will put him out like trash. This is not how we raised you. Forcing yourself on this innocent boy," Mr. Hamad said and a thousand little bolts clicked into place in my head. He faulted Amir for this. My dad, Amir, and now Mr. Hamad; the men in my life thought I was too dumb to make a good choice... or any choice at all.

"I am sorry, father. I..." Amir started to say, but Mr. Hamad cut him off.

"I had to have security follow you! My own son! He called to tell me you had interrupted the show, begun to take your clothes off! On camera! My own son! The shame it brings on our family! I had to call the producers and threaten them again! And then we rush home to find you sleeping naked and happy with him! Your dad had to see that! You said yourself this morning that Kasper is easily persuaded and needed a guide, a father... and you took advantage of him in his state of distress." Mr. Hamad was furious. He rubbed my back like I deserved his comforting. His cologne filled my nose as I struggled for air in his hold.

"It was not his fault, sir. He didn't want to do it. He did it to stop me from getting naked on the show. He told me if I got naked then he would too. He was trying to help me," I tried to explain though my voice was muffled by Mr. Hamad's tight polo shirt.

"And still he defends you... He was too frightened to say no," Mr. Hamad said. He didn't believe what I'd said. Amir started to talk, but Mr. Hamad silenced him.

"It is late, we need to go have dinner before they skip our reservation," Ali translated for Emerson.

"Yes, you boys go wash up while I talk with Amir. Ali, take them down to the restaurant and we will join you shortly," Mr. Hamad said and signed as he let go of me. He was handing off the alpha duties to Ali as though there would be a maze of deadly ninjas on our way to eat.

As I got up though, Mr. Hamad leaned into me and whispered, "Do not worry, Kasper. You always have a place with us. No one will put you out. That is the farthest from my mind."

"Thank you, sir," I said and felt his lips on my cheek. "And please don't be mad at him. He did it to protect me and then... well we... we got lost in the moment. He's so handsome and... perfect"

"My son was raised to be a leader, to think through things and make good choices. He knows this. It is not how we raised him," Mr. Hamad insisted Amir was solely to blame. He rubbed my hair to reinforce that I was not the one he blamed for this. There was no use arguing right now.

I followed Emerson to the bathroom in their room and we washed our hands. He fixed my hair yet I couldn't meet his gaze in the mirror. I could sense he wanted us to talk, but I was too ashamed to look at him. Ali came to walk us down for dinner.

At the restaurant, the host took us back to a small room with a round table set for five. Emerson pointed me to sit by him and then Ali sat on his other side. The waiter brought us glasses of this sparkling water that tasted like cucumbers. It was pretty good. Ali signed with his dad in silence while I sat there and processed what was going on. Emerson kept trying to catch my eyes, offer a reassuring smile. I couldn't believe he didn't hold this against me. We were served salads next and I was just finishing when Mr. Hamad and Amir finally joined us.

Amir came to sit by my side. His eyes were a little red and he looked like he'd faced an inquisition. Mr. Hamad didn't look any happier. He nodded a smile to his husband and leaned over me to kiss him. He took a seat between Amir and Ali. Amir didn't say a word, but he took my hand under the table and held it in his lap while we ate.

The waiter brought in plates of pasta with a pesto chicken and fresh tomatoes. It was delicious, but Amir and I didn't eat much. He kept a tight grip on my hand under the table and rubbed his fingers over mine like he was trying to sign something to me. I had no idea what he wanted to say. He felt so tense.

Mr. Hamad made polite conversation and Ali filled us in on their day at the motorcycle track. I didn't hear a word of it. Something was wrong with Amir, I felt the tension through his grip. He hadn't really said more than a few words since we'd been caught. His father blamed him for all of it. I should have defended him, but Mr. Hamad intimidates the hell out of me.

"You don't like your dinner, Kasper?" Ali asked, translating for Emerson.

"Oh, um. It's very good. I just..." I said awkwardly and Ali translated with an eyeroll. He seemed annoyed, but would never deny his dad's desire to communicate with me. The boys revered their parents above anyone.

"I understand. It's all right, son. Try a few more bites though," Emerson signed while Ali stated.

We finished up dinner. Mr. Hamad and Ali were the only ones who cleaned their plates. We headed back up in a silent elevator, unresolved weirdness hung over us. I certainly wasn't going to be the one to break the tension. Amir held my hand as though I was in danger of wandering away in the small elevator. I didn't mind his sweaty palm against mine.

Amir said something in Arabic and signed it when Mr. Hamad opened the suite door to let us inside. Both Mr. Hamad and Emerson nodded their consent to whatever he'd requested. Amir pulled me through the living room and out to the patio with him. He closed the sliding door behind us and pulled me along silently.

He led me to the bench where we'd sat the night before. He sat down and put one leg up on the bench with the other planted on the floor. He patted the seat between his thighs. I sat and he pulled me back against his chest.

"They're sending me home tomorrow... away from this perfect little neck, these beautiful ears," Amir whispered with sadness as he slid his arms around my chest. He put his chin on my shoulder.

"What? No way! They can't do that. I'll go with you! What about us? What will you do?" I asked as panic rose in my voice. He rubbed my chest and tried to soothe me.

"I'm sorry, Kasper. I wish I could change it... but I have courses starting soon. I was going to be here until next week, but now they want me back home and away from the temptations here. You are a temptation and one that I was blessed to find. I pushed things farther than I should have. I knew you were confused," Amir said solemnly.

"I'm sorry," I offered and put my hands over his as he folded them in my lap.

"No, don't be sorry... father is right. It was my fault. I should have waited with you, made things special. I shouldn't have rushed it. Rushing is something you do when you don't want something long-term. I care for you a great deal, Kasper. I see a future with you. I hope you see the same with me. You make me feel things I've never experienced. You're very special to me. You deserved more," Amir kissed the back of my neck and a wave of heat washed over me.

"You too." I pushed my bottom back between his legs and rubbed against him. I couldn't help myself. He turned me on. I felt a hard lump between his thighs.

"You see? I lose control with you. You are my weakness." Amir breathed a sigh against my ear.

"You're the hottest guy I've ever met. You make my stomach hurt with how sweet you are. I didn't think guys like you existed, especially not ones who were interested in me," I admitted and turned my face to the side. His lips found my cheek and his hands rubbed up my tummy.

"You are beautiful, sweet, innocent. Many men will be after you... I will have a lot of competitors to fight off when we are together," Amir tried to joke.

"This sucks. I don't want to be here without you," I felt like crying again.

"We have time before they come out here. It's our last night together. Let's not be sad. Ok?" Amir reached into his pocket and slid out his phone. He turned it to the camera and started taking selfies of us with me in his arms. We played with some filters on his apps. He made us look like aliens and kings and animals. He took a video of us making goofy faces and posted some for his friends to see. We were perfect together. How could anyone separate us?

He showed me pictures of their compound, the house he shared with his brother and fathers. I saw his uncles and younger cousins. I tried to remember their names when he told me who they were. He lived a very privileged life. He showed me his car, a brand new sports car customized with his name on it in a gold script. I imagined it was real gold. It was like looking inside a celebrity household. I'd never met people who actually lived like that. He really was royalty.

"Soon you will come and see it! You'll meet everyone. I hope you'll like it there. I know everyone will love you... You will love them too," Amir said.

"In Satra? I've never been there. Will they let me come?" I asked.

"Of course! You have a place with us now, my parents said that. They are coming home next week anyways since Ali and I start the new semester. You will come too! Unless you wish to return to your family... I hope you won't," Amir sighed.

"I hadn't thought about it," I said and relaxed against his chest. I honestly didn't know where to go or what to do next. I don't have a clue what I want to do with my life. I told him that.

"Come with us, Kasper! You can be with me while you figure things out. It's a wonderful country with the best people. We have a great university and opportunities for you... and I'll be there. We can take things slow. I'll show you that I can be what you need." Amir glowed.

"You're leaving tomorrow," I whispered and we both went silent. He held me from behind, put his chin on my shoulder and kissed my neck. I turned over in his arms so I could lie between his legs, put my chest against his, my face against his shoulder. He rubbed my back and kissed my hair while we cuddled. I wanted to fall asleep like that with his heart beating against my ear.

We spent the longest time just holding each other as the reality of our parting sank in. I'd give it back if I could, the time we'd spent together this afternoon. It was awesome, but I started to feel sick at the thought that I'd be alone here without him.

"It's time for Kasper to get ready for bed," Mr. Hamad's voice sounded behind us. We jumped a little, neither of us hearing him come out.

"Five more minutes?" I asked in a quiet voice. Amir let go of me and pushed me up for a kiss.

"Go with him. Show them you won't cause trouble," Amir whispered in my ear. I nodded.

"It is late, little one, come. You need your rest." Mr. Hamad offered me his hand and I pushed off of Amir. With all the trouble I'd gotten Amir into, I didn't want to cause more bad feelings. I took Mr. Hamad's hand and let him help me up. I followed him in through the suite and then went off to get ready for bed. Emerson had fresh pajamas for me, a pink long-sleeved shirt and white fleece jogger pants. I knew how to work the shower this time so I didn't need help.

I brushed my teeth and my hair then went to lie down. They had left a new sleeping mask on my pillow. It was grey with green cat eyes and pointy little grey ears on top. Little white whiskers were on either side of the bottom where my nose would go. The room was dark except for a small bedside lamp by their oversized king bed. I crawled into the small bed they'd set up for me and waited to fall asleep.

I laid there for the longest time with my thoughts. What would I do without Amir there? I couldn't go back to the show after we'd walked off. I couldn't even go home because I'd ruined things with Michael and my parents had already said I couldn't live there unless I went to school and worked in their business. I couldn't go back to that after all this. It would be a total failure.

I finally heard Mr. Hamad and Emerson come in. I was laying there tormented by my thoughts. I heard them go into the bathroom and close the door then the shower turned on. I listened to the falling water. Obviously I couldn't hear them talk since they used sign language with each other. I did hear an occasional cough or laugh. I wanted to get ready for bed with Amir, wash him in the shower, slide into bed and be warmed by his arms.

They came out quietly and I heard them settle into bed with a few gentle kisses. Then the room went quiet again. I was no closer to sleep. I pushed up the sleeping mask and saw the light from lamps on either side of their bed. I sat up a little and saw them in bed playing with their electronics. Mr. Hamad had his phone and Emerson was on his tablet. Both of them noticed I was stirring and they looked at me.

"Did we wake you?" Mr. Hamad asked with an inquisitive look. He smiled at the sleeping mask that was pushed up into my hair and added, "That looks so cute on you. Emerson picked out a few for you." Emerson nodded with a laugh.

"I can't sleep," I said and Mr. Hamad signed to translate. I told them all of my anxiety over what would happen to Amir, to me.

Emerson moved over and patted the bed between them. I got out of my warm blanket cocoon and walked towards them. I knelt on the bed and crawled up to the pillows. Emerson lifted the comforter and I slid back into warmth as my body shivered from the cold air of the hotel suite. The Arab men liked things cool.

Emerson put his arm around me and brought me into his side. We are nearly the same size, but he had the comforting hold of a parent. My parents never had that. I remember being very small the last time I'd crawled into their bed and I can't even remember my father comforting me like that. I felt a tinge of jealousy over the kind of warm childhood Amir must have had with them.

Emerson showed me his tablet where he was reading some emails. He swiped over to an app that had two windows, one above the other.

"You're sad about Amir leaving and many other things. You are so young to be so troubled," He typed. It wasn't a question. I reached for the tablet to type a response, but Mr. Hamad said to just talk to it. His words startled me, I didn't realize he had slid up behind me to see our conversation.

"I am. I got him in trouble. I always mess things up. It's why my father didn't seem surprised when you spoke with him. I have no direction in life. I'm not good at anything, and... I get into crazy situations. I always end up ruining things just when they're starting to go well. I'm cursed," I said and watched the words dance across the screen as Emerson nodded in understanding.

"You are not cursed! You are young and just need someone to help you figure things out for yourself. You have us now. I have been in your situation. It's all going to be ok," Emerson typed so quickly, swiping his fingers back and forth in swift motions on the tablet.

"You are a sweet boy trying to find his place in the world. You do not need to rush into things. We are here for you," Mr. Hamad said and his words appeared in the box with mine but in a different color. The app must have sensed the difference in our voices.

"Please don't send Amir home tomorrow. We're just getting to know each other," I begged.

"That is not for bedtime discussion and I've already settled it." Mr. Hamad said harshly. He did not want to talk about it, and seemed sad at what he thought he had to do. I turned to see his strong, bare chest with dark skin and thick black hair. His words on the screen were in all caps. It knew he was angry.

"Yes sir. I really didn't mean to cause trouble," I said and his lips softened into a smile. I was figuring out boundaries with them. Commenting on his parenting choices was not a good move.

"Go to sleep. Things will be better tomorrow." He put his hand to my cheek and then pulled down the sleeping mask over my eyes. He turned me towards Emerson who put his arm around me and brought me face down against his heartbeat. I snuggled into his side and felt Mr. Hamad rub my arm and back.

Mr. Hamad's chest pressed against my back and then I heard the sounds of them exchanging a kiss. His warmth disappeared as he turned back from us. Emerson held me while I fell asleep.

I woke up later in the dark room. Mr. Hamad had carried me back over to my smaller bed and I felt him lay me down and pull the covers over me. I didn't make any noise. I felt his lips against my forehead. He rubbed my chest and then I was out again.

+++

When I woke up, I went out to find him sitting on the couch in a pair of shorts and tank top. He had the TV on so he didn't hear me quietly open the door from the master bedroom.

He looked tired and sad. He was playing on his phone and deep in thought. My presence didn't register. I sneaked up behind him to see he was putting different filters on a picture of me wearing the cat sleeping mask. He must have sneaked in early when we were all still asleep. He looked at the picture and traced a finger over my face.

I didn't want to disturb his private moment so I quietly backed up a few steps and then yawned a loud "Good morning." He jumped and clicked his phone off. He turned to look at me. I yawned again only that time for real.

"Kasper, you're up!" Amir came over and slid his arms around my waist. He hugged me tightly and lifted me off the carpet. I put my arms around his shoulders and inhaled the slight sweat smell of his warm night. His body pulsed heat and was a welcome touch in the cold room.