It took me a long time to get up the nerve to actually call a man and offer myself for sex. It had been a long time fantasy of mine, and plugging myself with a dildo just wasn't enough anymore. I wanted my first guy to be older and taller than I, experienced, a dedicated Top man, and hung as well as possible. The dildos I had played around with had gotten progressively larger, so I knew he had to be at least eight inches long and two inches thick, or I would probably be disappointed.
I bought a Swinger's magazine at an adult bookstore. It had several telephone Personal services in the back for gays and bisexuals. I picked one at random, and started calling. There were several good ones close to home that met my criteria. I started out leaving just a message or two, until I got a response.
I was surprised at how many responses I actually got, including a few unsolicited ones to my own personal ad. One of these was a black man with a nine inch cock that sounded really nice, but he was too young. Another guy described how he wanted to fist me, and it sounded exciting, but I knew I wasn't ready for that. Another black man said he had ten inches, but something in his voice scared me.
I finally settled on a 44 year old named Keith. He said he was divorced, lived in a condo, had an eight inch cock, stood 5' 10", and had graying hair. He lived only about 30 miles away, so I called him at home one evening. We chatted for about an hour, about what each of us expected from an encounter. He had a very soothing voice that sounded safe, so I asked him if we could meet. He gave me directions to his home, and we planned to get together that Friday at eight.
I was nervous all day, but I didn't want to call him and cancel. I was sure that if I could just get myself to his house, undress, get into his bed, and have his cock offered to me, all my inhibitions would disappear.
I dressed in some of my best clothes for the occasion. I really didn't think I would be in them long, but I wanted to look good for him. Underneath, I wore skimpy black underwear. I put a couple of condoms in my pocket just in case, and left for Keith's.
I was just a few minutes late. I felt embarrassed now. Would he be upset with me? Would I be someone he would want to have sex with? Being a bottom, I really didn't know what it was that turned on a Top man. When I looked at pictures of naked men, the most important thing to me was the size of his cock-everything else was secondary.
I parked where he had told me. I still hadn't lost my nerve, so I walked straight to his door and rang the bell before I changed my mind. What would he look like?
When he answered the door, I was pleasantly surprised. He was an average looking man, but not bad looking at all. He smiled and invited me in. I stepped into his living room, where the lights were dimmed and a porn movie was playing on the VCR.
"To get into the mood," he said.
He took my jacket, layed it over the back of a chair, then came and stood next to me, his hand on the small of my back.
"Do you want to watch the movie, or just go upstairs?" he asked.
"It doesn't matter to me," I said, still very nervous.
He went over to the television and turned it off. Oh, God, we were going to get right to it, I thought. He did give me a choice, I guess. There was no turning back now, as he led me to the stairs, motioning me to go first. As I started up, he put his hand on my ass and gave it a gentle squeeze. "We're going to have a good time," he said. I was to nervous to respond.
At the top of the stairs, he guided me to the left by again touching the small of my back. I don't know if it was simply his way, or if he just knew how to put someone at ease, but he was actually calming my nervousness somewhat by his touches, and that low, soothing voice.
His bedroom was at the end of the hall, next to the bathroom. A single lamp was on low in the opposite corner, and the twin bed looked as if it had been freshly made up. I walked in ahead of him, and sat down on the side of it.
"I'm very nervous," I said.
"That's okay," he said, smiling. "We'll start with a massage to get you relaxed."