Leftout

They were hiding something from me. It started out as a feeling of rejection. None of them were available. All of them had something else to do. But now I was sure. They were together at Wilson's house. Without me. It was João's girlfriend who told me.

Now that I thought about it, it wasn't the first time that happened. But I couldn't understand why. Just yesterday we had been playing soccer together, the five of us. But this exclusion had been happening for longer.

So...I was the odd one out.

But that was insane. Lucas was my best friend. João was my cousin. Gabriel was Lucas's brother. Wilson was supposed to be the odd one out. How the fuck did I became the left over in that friend group?

I cogitated going to Wilson's at that very moment, barging in like some cheated girlfriend. Of course, my pride didn't let me. I stayed home, in my room, musing over this. My pride was definitely hurt, but I couldn't let it show. A guy couldn't let those feelings show, or it would be over for sure. So I stayed locked in my room, rotting in my bed for the rest of the day.

When night came, I received some messages from Lucas. I made sure to read them, let him see that I saw them, but I ignored them. He was so worried about it that he came to my house. My parents let him in, because of course they would. I couldn't explain to them why I didn't want him to see me.

Lucas came into my room. I was in my computer.

"Hey."

"Hey," I said.

"What are you playing?"

I didn't answer. He could see what I was playing. He came to look over my shoulder.

"You mad?" he asked.

"No."

"Can I crash in?" he asked.

I shrugged. I didn't want to refuse since I told him I wasn't mad, but I also hoped he could read the fucking room.

"Thanks, man."

He lay down on my bed and just slept there. I heard him snore, turned off my computer and looked at him.

He was my age, 19, and Latino. We met in highschool and we've been friends ever since. He was comfortable in my bed because he usually slept there with me. We had no problems with that sort of intimacy.

I looked at him now and I felt a small relief that he still considered me as a friend. But I also couldn't take it. How dared he lie to me and then pretend nothing happened?

I took a shower before bed and when I left the bathroom, he was awake again. I walked with the towel around my waist, a bit of water still dripping. He didn't say anything. Before I dressed up my underwear, I took the towel and finished drying up.

He kept his mouth shut, and I wasn't going to be the one talking first.

I lay down on the other side of the bed.

"Mateus..." he said.

"What?"

"You're mad."

"Why would I be?"

He was silent for a few moments. The anger was building up inside me, turning into jelousy and frustration.

"João told me that his girlfriend told you we were all at Wilson's today."

I waited.

"I know it looks bad. But, it's not what you're thinking."

I was slightly more confused, but I kept my mouth shut.

"Man, I really can't believe how bad it looks. I told the guys I was going to talk to you. The truth is...we were playing a game we knew you weren't going to like, so we didn't want you to be mad at us."

"A game?" I said. "That is the worst fucking excuse I have ever heard. I mean, Wilson? You guys would rather be with Wilson than with me? I like him, but we met him just a few months ago. I've known you for years, asshole. I can't even look at you right now. I thought you were my best friend."

"Mateus..."

"It's not even the fact you guys left me out. It's the lying. You all lied, and have been lying for a while. You guys want to get rid of me like I'm fucking fly, annoying your little group. Well, don't expect me to fucking talk to any of you any longer."

"Can you please shut the fuck up? You acting like a little bitch."

I sat down on the bed, looking away, feeling a little ashamed for my outburst. I was acting a bit childish, I had to admit. But it fucking hurt. I was sure I would regret later.

"Hey...you're gonna hate me when I tell you. But I will tell you anyway...what we have been doing. I have to. I'm feeling too fucking bad right now. I betrayed you. I really did. So I have to tell you. But please, even if you don't want to talk to me ever again, please, please promise me you won't tell anyone else?"

I looked at him, a little scared now. "What the hell were you guys doing?"

"Promise me."

"I promise, dude."

He took a deep breath. He was nervous. I could tell. His hands were shaking a little. By this time, I was getting worried about everything.

I sat down next to him. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just need...this is bad. I know it is, alright? That's why we wanted to hide from you. You're basically the best one of us. We all know it."

"Just tell me."

"We were fucking."

"Oh," I said. "That's it? Why the hell wouldn't I want to join? I don't have a girlfriend. João is the one who shouldn't."

"Man, listen to me. We weren't fucking girls."

"What then?" I looked at him, confused. Then, my eyes widened. "No way."

Lucas shrugged, but he looked distraught.

"You are fucking with me. Honestly, that's fucking hilarious. You got me. It's a joke, right?"

Lucas simply unblocked his phone. He opened his gallery and starting showing me photos. I both didn't want to look and couldn't take my eyes off.

It wasn't just jerking each other off and other silly stuff...they were full-on having gay sex, sucking each other, having double penetration, and they were taking pictures of it.

And they were smiling in the pictures.

While he showed me the pictures, he kept talking. "That's why we were pushing you away, because we didn't want you to find out. I mean, we started out so innocent, it was during that time you got sick and couldn't be with us. But it turned into more and more, and always behind your back. It felt awful, man. But we couldn't stop."

"You...couldn't...stop." My mind was blown.

He kept showing me pictures.

Lucas, his naked body lying on his back, legs open wide, hole gaping and leaking cum. Lucas was smiling in the picture. He had a cock in his mouth, but was still smiling. It was Wilson's cock.

Fucking Wilson, who just got into the friend group. He was putting his cock in MY best friend.

I was a litle jealous.

Wilson got to fuck and be fucked by each of my oldest friends. And he only knew them for six months.

There were so many pictures.

João had a girlfriend, but that didn't stop him from sucking cock. He was black, but his asshole was pink, and definitely not tight anymore.

Gabriel went to church every Sunday! There was one picture of him where he was sucking Wilson's balls, smiling. He also got fucked a lot. And there were a lot of pictures where his face was covered, completely covered, in cum.

Lucas sucking two cocks at once.

Wilson pinning him down, plowing him.

"The guys told me not to tell you. They were sure you were going to tell everyone. I hope you don't, but if you do, I won't be mad at you. I'm sorry I disappointed you."

"Lucas..." I didn't know what I was going to say, but just then, there was another picture of Lucas.

He was on top of Wilson's lap, his huge ass spread wide by his hands while his hole was getting totally stretched by a huge white cock. "Oh, man, look at you," I said.

"I'm not gonna lie to you. I like it."

"I can't believe it."

"I knew you wouldn't, that's why I had to show pictures." He tried to get the phone back, but I didn't let him. I kept looking at them.

It was so weird! These guys, they weren't like that...they weren't gay. They weren't. They were my friends. I just couldn't believe my own eyes.

But it was true.

There was a picture where Lucas's face was covered in cum as well. Three cocks surrounded his face. He was smiling.

Three cocks at once.

"You enjoy it, don't you?"

"I can't help it."

"So you're a fag?" I asked.

"No...I don't know."

"It looks pretty fucking obvious," I said.

Lucas covered his face with both hands. "I kind of don't think about it. I do these stuff with the guys and then I pretend they never happened."

More pictures. Wilson getting fucked. Gabriel getting fucked. Lucas and João kissing. Lucas and João licking the head of Wilson's cock.

It fucking hurt.

They were a group on a whole other level. I was actually left out. I was the odd one out.

I could ruin their lives.

I could ruin my friends's lives.

I looked at Lucas beside me. Of course, I wouldn't do anything to harm him. No, my friends betrayed me, but I still loved them.

Even Wilson.

"I won't tell, Lucas. But this is a lot to take in."

"I'll leave," he said.

"No, you can still crash in. It's too damn late now."

"You don't mind if I sleep in your bed? With you?"

"Why the hell would I?" Lucas was looking at me funny, and I realized I was just in my underwear, and I had always been the most handsome guy in the group, the tallest, strongest, and well shaped one. "As long as you don't hug me during the night, we're fine."

Lucas chuckled. "I'll resist my urges."

I shook my head, not sure how I felt about those jokes. Were they only jokes?

We both lay down and stared at ceiling.

Whenever I closed my eyes, I saw my friends doing it. I saw cocks and assholes, and I somehow felt myself stirring. It was crazy how leftout I felt. They were doing something wrong, immoral, but why was I leftout?

"Mateus? You awake?"

"I am."

"This is gonna sound weird, man. But I just wanted to say it, you know, to get off my chest. None of the others mean as much to me as you do."

"But that's not true, is it?" I said.

"I swear it is. You want me to prove it? I'll never talk to any of them. I'll stop this shit."

"That's not the point. You chose to leave me out."

Lucas whispered.

"But it's you! We knew you wouldn't join. I'm sorry, but you're the biggest himbo we know. What...Mateus, what are you doing?"

"Shhhh. Let me." I hugged him from the side. I turned him so my bigger body covered his, my crotch against his buttocks. He was so round there. I felt his warmth. My mouth rubbed his hair. I put my hands around him. I covered him completely. "I'm very sleepy, Lucas. We talk about this tomorrow, yeah?"

"Mateus..."

"Is this bad? Do you want me to get away?"

"No, please, don't."

"So...let's sleep."

"I can't sleep. I won't be able to now."

"Why not?"

He turned his face slightly up, so now my mouth was almost touching his. He tried to turn some more, to kiss me. My lips only brushed his cheek.

I held him tight.

"Fuuck, Mateus, you can't do this and expect me to sleep. Come on."

"Either sleep, or don't. But stay quiet and let me sleep."

Lucas began to push his ass back.

"Stop, Lucas. This isn't happening."

"It doesn't have to be much. Let me show you what I can do." He was like an eager little slut. Even his voice was softer now. I felt like I could take him right now.

"No. We'll talk tomorrow."

"What if you change your mind, dude..."

"Go to sleep! That's an order." It was a whisper, but it was a strong one. It actually worked. Lucas stayed quiet. I held him close and warm, feeling his body against mine. He gave me an erection. He felt my erection against his buttocks. But sleep came first.

I would have to see what I would do next.