Light the Fire

**This story will continue references to homophobia and violence throughout. Reader discretion is advised**

**Thank you all so much for your comments and love on Chapter One! I hope you continue to enjoy the story!**

If I thought I stood any chance with Luca, that thought was dashed within the first week of college. He excelled on the social scene in much the same way as Ryan did; befriending our entire dorm in a matter of days, getting invited to parties by the seniors, and just generally thriving whilst I stalled. Luca was everything that I would ever be and even if he were gay, which I was more than certain he wasn't, there was no way it would have worked.

I kept to myself in the same way I did in High School; reading books in the dorm room, sitting alone in the dining hall, and trying not to draw attention to myself. It was easier to keep myself in the shadows of our dorm room rather than venturing out into the wild hallways and risk bumping into Derek and having him find out the truth about me. To most people, college was the place to do something different or be someone else, but I was content with just getting through the school year without any issues.

Friday night rolled around, an entire week since we first moved in, and Luca stood on his side of the room, rooting through his dresser until he found a light blue shirt. I sat on my bed, trying not to watch him out of the corner of my eye as he grabbed the bottom of the black shirt he had been wearing and pulled it over his head.

"You could always come with, you know." Luca glanced over his shoulder, bunching the fabric up in his hands before throwing the black shirt onto his bed. "The others won't mind."

"Parties aren't my scene."

"I've noticed." He raised an eyebrow at me, a slight smile tugging on his lips. My mouth went dry as he pulled the blue shirt over his muscular chest. I tried not to stare, but he made it impossible not to. "What is more of your scene, then?"

"This." I gestured to my book which sat beside me, the white bookmark poking out of the pages.

"You can't spend all your time hiding in here." Luca tucked his phone into his back pocket, crossing his arms over his chest. "Tell you what, come with me and the others tonight and I'll buy you a book of your choice."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Even a hardback?"

"You drive a hard bargain." He laughed, the sound being enough to cause my cock to jump a little. "Yes, even a hardback book. You don't have to stay for long, but at least you can say you stepped out of your comfort zone. And it means your brothers aren't going to kill me for letting you become a hermit."

"It just so happens that I enjoy the hermit lifestyle."

"Think of the new book, Cal. The new, hardback book that would look great on your shelf."

To emphasize his point, he crossed to my half of the room and waved his hands towards my stack of books that had a hardback-shaped hole at the end of it. I laughed, shaking my head a little. I didn't want to go to a college party; they were my idea of hell. The last thing I wanted was to end up in a room full of loud, sweating college students getting drunk and trying to find out everyone else's business. Still, at least I could say I tried it.

Ryan did tell me I needed to at least try something new. He didn't say I had to enjoy it.

"You don't have to stay for long."

"You're not going to give this up, are you?"

"Not by a long shot." He grinned, raking a hand through his hair. "Just this once, this one party, for me."

I stared at him, struggling to fight the smile threatening to cross my lips at the sight of his messed up hair and the lopsided grin on his face. Something stirred in the pit of my stomach. It was a light, almost fluttering feeling that I might have missed were it not for the way my cock jumped at his last comment. It was a simple utterance, one most people might have ignored, but no one had ever said it to me before.

"Alright, fine, just this once."

"Yes!" He thrust his fists into the air in a sort of celebration, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Now you need to get changed because you're not wearing pajamas."

"It's a great talking point, though."

"For all the wrong reasons." Luca stepped to my dresser and reached in, pulling out a pair of blue jeans, a white v-neck shirt, and a red and black flannel shirt.

"Wear those. No pajamas, no cardigans, no matter how much you like them."

"I'm starting to regret this."

"Just get changed."

He threw the clothes at me, laughing when they hit me square in the face and dropped into my arms. I shook my head looking at the flannel shirt. The shirt had been Ryan's idea, another way for me to step out of my comfort zone by wearing something unfamiliar. The last thing I wanted was to look like a gay lumberjack, but I'd made my bed and it was time to lie in it, even if the bed was made of nails. Thousands and thousands of nails.

I turned my back to Luca to try to hide the slight bulge in my underwear from watching him change his shirt. The perils of living with a hot football player. I changed clothes, readjusting my pants so the jeans wouldn't dig in before I turned back to Luca. He frowned, taking a few steps towards me. My breath caught in my throat, my heart thumping against my chest.

Luca reached out and knotted his fingers in the small pile of curls that Ryan always made look messy and cool. The moment his hand touched my hair my mouth went dry and my jeans tightened to the point that they became uncomfortable. He ruffled my hair a little, a small smile appearing on his face. His eyes locked with mine and he quickly pulled his hand back, letting it drop to his side.

"That's better." He stared at me for a few moments longer and then lightly shook his head. "Let's go."

"Where is this party?"

"You'll find out."

I narrowed my eyes, but he refused to meet my gaze, scratching the back of his neck and shifting his position a little. He darted across the room and held open the door for me as I scrambled to tuck my phone into my pocket and follow him from the dorm room and outside.

The two of us barely spoke as we walked through the still warm evening air. I pushed my shirt sleeves up past my elbows, noticing a small glance from Luca as I did so. He fidgeted more with his hands, as though he struggled to know where to put them before he finally shoved them into the front pockets of his pants. If I didn't know any better, I would say he was nervous, but what he was nervous about I couldn't say.

Silence drifted between us in the warm air until the loud thumping of bass music erupted through the darkening sky above our heads. Even at a distance, the bass was loud enough to rattle my teeth and every fiber of my being screamed at me to leave. A party was the last place I wanted to be, but the promise of a new book was enough for me to push down my rising anxiety and approach the thumping music.

Students poured out into the street of a large house at the end of a cul-de-sac. Several were holding the classic red solo cups I'd seen in movies, one or two were vomiting in nearby pushes, and one was just lying on the front lawn staring up at the stars. The closer we got to the house, the more I wanted to run. The students were those who fitted into College life with ease: football players, cheerleaders, and any other cool kid I could think of.

"Where are we?" I asked, glancing around at the other houses.

"This is where the football players live after freshman year. Brandon told me about it."

"So you're home next year." I nodded. "Definitely not somewhere I belong."

"They won't mind, most of them are probably too drunk to know who we are. Just enjoy your first party, take it all in."

"Right, the smell of alcohol and vomit. What's not to love?"

Luca laughed, throwing his head back a little and clamping a hand on my shoulder. "Are you always this cynical?"

"It's my defining trait."

"Well, let's see if we can loosen you up a bit. Just one drink and then you can leave and go back to your hermit lifestyle."

"Or I could just go back to the hermit lifestyle and avoid stepping foot into that house."

"If you leave now, you don't get the book. You have to stay for a minimum of half an hour to get it."

"You're really annoying," I grumbled, shaking my head but unable to fight the slight smile.

"That's my defining trait."

I laughed, allowing Luca to steer me up the stone walkway that led to the house. The bass music caused my entire body to shake and every other sound to become muffled and unintelligible. We walked past the guy just lying on the grass, past the abandoned cups and people making out on top of the hedges that lined the front lawn; why were straight people obsessed with PDA?

We stepped over the threshold, shouldering our way through the large crowd that stood in the entrance. People were gathered in the hallway, talking on the stairs, or yelling over each other as they downed shots. The crowd was a mixture of all year groups with freshmen and seniors shaking alcohol and small talk over the thumping music.

Luca led me through the crowd, and I tried not to recoil at the powerful smell of sweat and alcohol that permeated the air. We stepped into the kitchen where the center island was weighed down by beer, vodka, an assortment of shots, and several stacks of red solo cups. It looked like something straight out of a movie.

I watched Luca grab two beers from the island, opening them and handing me one.

"Drink up." He tipped the bottle to me and sipped it.

I eyed the beer, taking a small sip and recoiling at the taste. "That's a no."

"There's Coke and Sprite in the fridge if you want it. Some guys on the team don't drink, you're welcome to one." Brandon, the footballer we met in the dining hall on our first day, leaned over my shoulder and grabbed a beer off the table. "Cal, right?"

"That's me. Are you sure they won't mind if I take one?"

"Nah." He crossed to the room and opened the fridge, grabbing a coke can which he pressed into my hand. The outside of the can was cold against my clammy palm.

"It's his first party," Luca said, sipping his beer. "I'm trying to get him out of his comfort zone."

"Ah, well, this is one of the few parties we host throughout the year. Most people think we're a party house, but we're not. Honestly, we're a bit lame." He laughed, grabbing a beer from the island. "Do you wanna have a look around, Luca? If you stay on the team, you'll be living here next year."

"Sure, do you mind?"

I shook my head. "Go, I'll stay here, nurse my coke, and try to come out of my hermit shell."

"Try to socialize a little. I can't be your only friend come the end of the year."

"One friend would be a record as far as Ryan's concerned."

"You two talk like a married couple," Brandon muttered. "Are you coming or not?"

"I'm coming."

Luca's eyes lingered on me for a moment before he followed Brandon from the kitchen and the two of them disappeared into the mass of bodies that blocked the doorways. I opened my can, sipping on the coke and looking around the kitchen at the other students. Several were nursing empty beers, others were grabbing new ones, and countless people were stumbling around.

Someone brushed past me, dragging another person behind them and no doubt searching for an empty room to hook up in. I nursed the coke, watching the party unfold around me, but making no moves to interact or engage with anyone. Just being in the kitchen was enough to send my anxiety into overdrive.

My heartbeat thumped in time with the bass that echoed through the house. My ears ached at the sound level, and I checked my phone to see how much longer I had to stay to win the book. We'd been at the party for about twenty minutes and a small slither of relief flooded my chest. Only ten minutes to go.

Ryan would say I was being dramatic, but he didn't understand why I didn't like the large groups of people or crowded spaces. Ever since I was a kid, I hated being somewhere full of people, somewhere I couldn't hear my own voice over the sound of conversations or music. That anxiety was made worse when everything happened with Mom and Dad. There was an added level of fear that someone would find out that I was gay since there were very few people I was comfortable telling.

The quicker I could escape the party, the better.

"Finally decided to be a normal human being, then?" Derek yelled over the thumping music. He slapped me hard on the back, causing me to stumble into the island and almost throw coke down my shirt.

"Something like that."

"You drinking coke? Come on dude, have a beer."

"No, I'm fine with this. Beer isn't my thing."

"What you need is to get some pussy. That'll put you right. Beer and pussy are all a

man needs."

I almost choked on my drink. "Oh, erm, no I'm alright. I just want to focus on my

studies this year."

"There's something weird about you." Derek narrowed his eyes, rocking a little.

"I'm starting to think you might be a little homo after all."

"Dude, leave him alone," Brandon said, stepping into the room with Luca behind him. He reached across the island and grabbed a beer, twisting the top off and throwing it into the sink.

"What? We live with him. We have a right to know."

"You don't have a right to know anything. Just drop it." He held the beer out to Luca. "Want one?"

Luca looked at me, a slight frown on his face. Somehow, the furrow in his eyebrows and the small crease between them made him cuter. "No, we might head off. I told Cal he only had to endure the party for half an hour."

"Fair enough. See you around Luca, and you, Cal."

I placed the half-full can of coke on the kitchen island and skirted around Derek, trying to ignore his eyes shooting lasers into my back. Luca and I maneuvered our way through the pulsing crowd and out of the front door. The warm air did little to calm my clammy skin, but I was grateful to have escaped Derek's questioning and his skin-crawling stare.

We walked in silence back to the dorms, Luca with his hands stuffed in his pockets and me more than ready to get out of the tight pants and into my pajamas. So long as I was nowhere near Derek. He was one of the reasons why I never wanted to socialize with people or come out of the hermit shell. The last thing I needed was for him to find out I was gay. If he did, I'd have to drop out.

Maybe that way of thinking was a little dramatic, but I'd been around people like him before; in high school, with my parents, and it never got any better. People could preach about inclusivity all they liked, but it didn't make a difference. Some people just loved to hate.

"Derek's an asshole," Luca said as we stepped into our dorm room. He tore off his shirt and threw it onto the bed; I tried not to look at him. "I shouldn't have left you, not at your first party."

"First and last. That place was too loud for me. Ryan always said I was like a grandfather, and I'm starting to think he might be right." I laughed, trying to defuse a little bit of the tension. "Look, it's fine. You didn't go to the party just to babysit me."

"He's still an ass."

"True."

"You are definitely a grandfather, though. I mean, the cardigans, the books, not liking loud noises, and being in bed by like nine. Grandfather."

"Speaking of." I pulled my phone out of my pocket, checking the time. "Time for this grandfather to go to bed."

Luca laughed. He grabbed his towel from the floor and threw it over his shoulder. "I'm going to take a shower."

I watched him leave, unable to pull my eyes away from the bare skin of his back until he closed the door behind him. My cock hardened in my pants and I quickly pulled off my pants and shirt in favor of my pajamas, which weren't as tight around my crotch. I climbed into bed, wondering how much time I had before Luca returned. He always took long showers and the longer he was in the shower, the more I could enjoy myself.

Before I could do anything, my phone beeped the annoying facetime sound. I groaned, releasing the elastic of my pants and grabbing my phone from the nightstand. Ryan's face filled the screen.

"You're seriously in bed already? Dude, it's a Friday night."

"I actually just got back from my first ever party. It wasn't for me."

"Were you there for longer than five minutes?"

"Half an hour. It was too loud and some of the people at this school are assholes."

He frowned, readjusting himself a little. "Someone causing you trouble?"

"Not really, but one of the guys in my dorm couldn't hide the homophobia if he tried. Asked if I was gay because I was drinking coke and not beer."

"How can a drink determine if someone's gay or not?" He shook his head. "So I take it no one knows about you? Not even the roommate?"

"No way. If one person finds out, everyone is going to find out. It was bad enough at high school, and with Derek making those comments, it's best I just don't say anything. Let's face it, the last few times people found out I was gay didn't go down too well."

"Okay, fair enough, but I don't think Luca would care too much. He seemed like a decent enough guy."

"I'm not doing it. Trust me, it's better I stay in the closet until college is over."

I looked away from my phone screen to the door to our dorm room, where Luca stood with the town tied around his waist. I'd been so focused on my conversation with Ryan that I didn't even see him come in. He stared at me with the same sort of frown that had been on his face after Brandon stopped Derek from making any more comments towards me.

"Cal? You there?"

"Yeah." I turned back to the phone. "I'll call you back."

"Cal--"

I hung up the FaceTime and dropped my phone onto my lap, looking at Luca, who took a few slow steps into the room. My heart thumped against my ribcage, and my chest tightened as he looked at me. The look on his face was one of confusion rather than anger, a small slither of sadness rather than hatred. It didn't make me feel any better.

A small part of me hoped he hadn't heard a word of my conversation with Ryan,

but I knew he had. If he'd just taken a longer shower, I could have averted the conversation before he returned, but I hadn't.

"How much of that did you hear?" I asked.

Luca remained silent, closing the door and crossing over to his bed with his clothes

bundled up under his arms.

"Luca?"

"I'm not like Derek," he said, his voice low. "You could have told me."

"It's not as easy as that. I haven't had the best experience with most people finding out other than my brothers. The last thing I wanted to do was lose probably the only friend I have here because of that." I sighed, running my hand over my face. "If you wanted to find another roommate, I wouldn't mind."

"Do you really think I'd do that? I don't care, Cal. Gay, straight, whatever, it doesn't bother me. Seriously, I'm not going to tell anyone and I'm not going to request a new roommate either. Your business is your business and I get not wanting to say anything, especially since we met Derek not long after getting here." He shook his head, anger flashing across his face. "It's cool."

A small feeling of relief flooded my chest. "Really?"

"Really." He glanced down for a moment, realizing he'd come into the room in nothing but a towel with small droplets of water clinging to his skin. His cheeks were tinged red. "I should probably get dressed and I won't make a habit of coming into the room almost fully naked."

"Don't stop on my account."

The words left my mouth before I could stop them, heat rising to my cheeks at the realization of what I had said. Luca arched an eyebrow at me with a small smile on his face. My heart thumped against my ribcage and my breathing all but stopped for a few seconds as my cheeks burned. That was the sort of thing Ryan might say, not something I even thought I would find saying, especially to my roommate.