Some might say my dad molested me. Took advantage of my innocence and naivety. Perhaps abused his power.
I guess it's not normal, after all, for dads to touch their son's penis. But, life ends up taking you on paths you never predicted or imagined. And in this case, I really have no regrets.
I'm staying at my parent's place this summer after freshman year at college. And am definitely missing dorm life. Meeting people. Trying new things. And just figuring out who I am.
I feel like college has been helping me open up more. From being Mr. Painfully Awkward my whole life to just being kinda shy. I'm in a space now of just, sorta, like, leaning into what life is offering me. Taking chances, even if it's out of my comfort zone. Isn't that what they say this stage of life is all about?
Anyway, being home kinda sucks. It immediately transports me to feeling 12-years-old again. My parents still call me "Champ" for chrissake.
Because mom and dad revamped the living room into a loungey library after I left for school, the only TV in the house is in their bedroom upstairs. And as much as I'd like to say I've been staying super active and being outdoorsy this summer, the truth is I've been watching a lot of TV. Bad TV.
But whatever. It's summertime in my hometown. My parents don't care if I'm in their room, though - even on weekends when they're not at their jobs. Dad's always working on something in the garage or lifting weights in the basement, while mom's either cleaning something, running errands or building her garden in the backyard. They only use their bedroom for sleeping.
And sex, of course.
I get to hear that sometimes now that I'm back home. It used to make me super uncomfortable in high school. But now it's just an annoying distraction that makes it hard to fall asleep. Heaven knows I've gotten used to hearing people having sex after a semester rooming with Javon.
Flashback to me under the covers with my eyes closed, trying to focus on leaping sheep. But unable to ignore the sensual hums of some random girl across the room in bed with Javon, who is smacking her ass with his nuts at each thrust into her pussy.
Smack. Smack. Smack.
Javon always teases me about being a virgin and is always trying to match me up with somebody. Get me to DM this girl or go up and dance with that girl. One night after he finished messing around with a girl in our dorm, he called out to me:
"Declan, wanna hit this?"
She giggled. I felt so embarrassed that he was drawing attention to my presence, so I ignored it and pretended to be sleeping. And he said nothing more to me. In the moment I was horrified that he said that. And I'm, like, 99% sure he was just joking and being an idiot.
But for a week I jerked off to the thought of me climbing onto his futon mattress and screwing her with him laying next to us. Him watching me as my dick slid in and out of her. Or her giving me a juicy blowjob while he slobbered all over my balls.
Javon's such a hornball I wouldn't be surprised if he were open to playing around with dudes. Me, I've always identified as straight. But if I were completely honest, I'd say that I just really don't like labels. None of them feel right.
Anywho, I sometimes have to listen to people boning is all I'm saying. But, ultimately, I'm glad my parents are both 44 and still as sexually active as they are.
Last Sunday I was watching TV while my mom was folding laundry on the bed. Dad got out of the shower down the hall and walked in the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He grabbed some clean underwear from the drawer and, then, boom.
He let his towel fall to the floor.
I saw his butt and flaccid dick wiggle as he bent over to put his underwear on. Does he not see me here or something, I thought.
I then took notice that his body looked a lot like mine. Hairy chest. Long legs. Thick bum. I'm just a little leaner version of him, that's all. And my bush is better maintained.
"Honey, come on, Champ's in here," mom half-heartedly complained. Dad looked at us.
"We're guys. We're naked in locker rooms all the time around each other."
She smirked at him and then looked at me as my eyes became fixed on the TV screen. I glanced at her real quick. Was I supposed to, like, freak out? Or leave the room? I didn't know, so I just said:
"Whatever."
It's the following Saturday afternoon. And I'm here now lying down in my parent's bed watching another episode of Fresh Prince, when dad starts climbing the stairs. I hear the bathroom door shut and the shower burst on. He probably just got done working out and needs to cool down and clean up.
I wonder if he's gonna change in front of me again.
Mom's at the movies with one of her friends. Should I leave now before he comes in and avoid the situation altogether? Maybe he's gonna dress in the bathroom. I don't know. Shit.
I swiftly recall his hairy chest and dangling penis from the other day. It was kinda cool that he wasn't bothered that I was in the room. That it wasn't a big deal. Like, we both have penises, so who cares?
After a brief internal assessment, I figure to just stay put. And keep watching TV. After all, I'm just hanging out on a Saturday afternoon. The shower turns off and I hear him whistling to himself. I like when my dad's in a good mood. He's playful and easy-going.
The bedroom door opens and he walks in nonchalantly without looking at me. In nothing but his towel.
"Hey Champ." He glides toward the closet.
"Hey," I reply.
"Whatcha watchin'?" He faces away from me and lets the towel drop. I see his round butt. And notice the hairiness of his inner thighs. His upper body has gotten beefier in the past year I can tell. Answer him!
"Fresh Prince."
Dad turns to face the TV and I can see his soft dick resting atop his big set of balls. He laughs at a joke from the show and I can see his penis jiggling with the movement of his body. It looks between four and five inches. Kinda like mine. He simultaneously starts putting on deodorant in each of his hairy armpits. I notice his body's profile, and the shape of an 'S' curving around his upper back, into his waist, and then out around his ass.
"Dad." He shifts from the TV to me in a gesture of 'what'. "Clothes?" I inquire.
He looks at me and smiles.
"What? You afraid of seeing your old man's weiner?"
I can't help but smile. He said 'weiner'.
"I'm not afraid of it. It's just... hanging out so freely is all."
A spark of playfulness shows in his eyes and he starts crawling toward me on the bed. In the nude, playfully punching my legs, with a shit-grin on his face. In a satirical old-person voice, he jokes:
"I'm sorry you're seeing your old, geezer-dad in his birthday suit."
I'm laughing as I try kicking him away.
"Get off me!"
His penis is flopping around with his abrupt movements. And now that I'm up close I can see he's got a few gray pubic hairs in his big bush. I keep checking it out.
"Come on, dad!"
"All right, all right," he relents and gets off the bed. Faces me. "Hey, I'm old, but I think I'm still in pretty good shape."
And he wasn't lying. He's tall, strong, with nice abs. I'd love to eventually have his muscle definition. I suddenly think of him having sex with my mom. This being her view from bed as he readies to mount her. Fresh from a shower and eager to get dirty.
Dude, Declan, why are you thinking these thoughts? I glance from his body, to the TV, and back to his body, remembering his comment.
"Sure," I blurt out lazily.
He's just looking at me. Why is he not putting on underwear? He opens his mouth, and in a softer tone, asks:
"You take after your dad in this area?" while pointing to his crotch. He sees me glance at his dick. Whoops. My eyes return to the TV.
"Dude, come on," I whine, dishonestly.
"We're just talking about guy stuff. Fine, whatever, I'm freaking you out."
He walks up to the drawer and opens it, searching for underwear. I know this is my out - that if I ignore him and let him put on his underwear, this awkward situation will be over. And life will go back to normal. And we'll go back to doing normal dad-son stuff.
Sigh.
But I'm feeling caught up in a wind that has a mind of its own, so I take a leap into the unknown, and open my mouth.
"It looks the same as yours, dad..." He glances down at my crotch for a moment. "... I just maintain my area unlike you."
