I shuffled into school like a zombie. The past couple of nights, I'd barely been able to get any sleep. I kept on waking up with that annoying buzzing itch in my hole. I've gotten pretty good at scratching it, but it just wouldn't. Go. Away!!
Suddenly I felt somebody sneak up behind me and grab my ass. I was about to turn around and punch whoever it was in the face, but it was only Leo messing around again. I really didn't want to deal with his teasing today. I know I should just suck it up and be a bro, but it feels shitty to get kicked when you're already down.
"Damn, Micucci, up all night banging headboards?"
"What the fuck does that even mean?" Leo always says the weirdest shit. He just laughed instead of giving me any explanation. And, his hand was STILL on my ass!! I grabbed his wrist and pulled it away firmly, giving him my best 'don't mess with me, bro' look.
"Hey man, save some for us!" Isaac stepped in between me and Leo and threw his arm around my shoulder. The rest of the guys on the team joined us, each of them giving me slaps on the butt as they laughed. I guess it might seem weird on the outside, but it was totally normal locker room behavior for us alpha jock guys, I swear.
Isaac brought his mouth up to my ear and whispered, quiet enough so the rest of the team couldn't hear. "So how'd it go the other day with Sammy, he finally seal the deal?"
Huh? I really wish all my bros would stop talking in riddles. I know I'm not smart like Sammy, but sometimes I feel like they're having this secret conversation that I'm not a part of. I've always felt out of place and two steps behind everyone, so when I was younger my mom took me to get evaluated. She didn't really tell me much besides that I'm 'a little different' and that shouldn't stop me from chasing my dreams. I kinda shrugged it off at the time but every once in a while I'm reminded of how different I am, so I just try harder to fit in.
"Seal what deal?" I had no idea what he was talking about. I really hope Sammy didn't say anything to the rest of the team about what he caught me doing in the restroom. I don't think I could handle the embarrassment. But maybe they would be cool with it? After all, it's totally normal that if you get an itch in your ass, you need to scratch it. The weird thing is having the itch in the first place, I guess.
"Come on, we've been waiting so long, Sammy's got dibs but you're giving us blue balls here."
"What the fuck bro?" I whisper-yelled at him. What the fuck was he talking about? Blue balls? Did they expect me to be their wingman? I mean, they'd had way more experience with girls than me. Which is kinda weird since I've never even kissed a girl, but I guess I just haven't found the right one yet.
Suddenly, all the guys backed off, stepping back several feet and lifting their hands up in that "I wasn't doing anything" gesture. I wondered if a teacher was creeping up to us, but when I looked it was just Sammy. He looked at me right in the eye and smirked. I instantly panicked. Was Sammy gonna say something in front of all the guys? Please don't say anything, please don't say anything.
"Hey Micucci, missed you these past few days. Where've you been?"
Oh thank God. Sammy was playing it cool. Maybe he wouldn't say anything after all.
"And what were you guys just doing?" He shot the other guys a look, and they all backed up even more.
"Hey, we weren't doing nothin', I swear!" Ikes looked like a kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
It was so weird how all the guys would always tease me and shit but I never saw them do anything like that to Sammy. They always listened to whatever he said, which I guess was the benefit of being team captain. And they usually wouldn't horse around with me as much when Sammy was around.
"Were these dumbasses giving you a hard time?" He asked me.
"Yeah, I bet you want to give him a hard time!" Somebody in the group yelled out, but I didn't catch who. Sammy gave whoever that was a death glare.
"Ignore them, Micucci, they don't got enough brains to make a normal one put together. Anyways, you're coming over Friday night, right?"
"Friday night? Oh, right." My brain was totally fried from the lack of sleep, so I had completely forgotten that Sammy's parents were gonna be gone Friday night and he invited me over for a bro hang. Order some pizza, play some COD, typical bro stuff. The other guys usually had dates on the weekend, so most of the time it was just me and Sammy. Sammy always said he's too busy with school to date, but he always makes time to hang out with me.
"It's gonna be epic, man. You have no idea what I have in store..." Sammy wiggled his eyebrows at me.
"Haha, sounds good man, can't wait." I always had a great time hanging with my best bro.
---
Damn it, Friday couldn't come fast enough.
Friday morning I woke up, as usual, only something was off. Right in the middle of my sheets was this, like, big wet spot. At first I thought I pissed the bed, which honestly I haven't done since I was a little kid, so what the fuck? But the front of my underwear was totally dry. The back on the other hand... why the fuck was the back of my underwear soaking wet? And besides that, the itch was fucking back!
I reached back into my shorts to touch my hole a bit, just to calm it down, when I realized the source of the wetness. For some reason, it was leaking out of my hole. I brought my fingers up to see what the fuck it even was. It was clear, and kinda thick, honestly it looked a lot like the aloe vera gel I'd used the first time I got that itch. Was that what it was? Did I put some in my hole and it leaked out? No way, I would have remembered that. What the fuck is going on with me?
There was some weird substance leaking out of my ass. It didn't smell dirty, honestly it smelled kinda good, which made me think it wasn't that bad. But what else could it even be? I started panicking a little, because my body was going through changes and I didn't know who I could turn to. Coach? No way, this was too freaky for him. Sammy? He's smart, he usually knows what's up. But if the team found out? The ass jokes would just get worse. I had no idea what to do.
*HONK HONK*
I was so distracted trying to figure out what was going on with my ass that I totally lost track of time! Shit, Sammy was gonna be pissed again. And I was running out of plausible excuses. Maybe I should just tell him what's really going on. I know that I can trust my best bro, and he probably had the wrong idea after walking in on me in the bathroom the other day. He might think I'm gay and that I was playing with my ass, but that's way off base! I was just scratching the itch in my hole, bro.