I love to suck cock. It is the most sensual and wonderful thing to me. From the first time when I sucked cock at the age of 17. I was at a beach party and gave a blowjob to a drunk guy who I don't think noticed I was a guy. I loved it. I knew this is what I wanted in my life. I just loved the smell and taste of his manhood. I understood completely at the moment of his orgasm that I was gay. And this excited me. After finishing, I ran to my car and drove to a secluded place and jerked my self off twice reliving the moment with his taste still on my lips.
In college, I frequented a certain restroom on campus and learned the joys of buttfucking, both receiving and giving. But the real reason I went was to give blowjobs. The smell, the taste, the groans of ecstasy. To look and see the different dicks that were out there was a wonderful experience. Until the day I was beat up by two thugs, that restroom was favorite spot of mine.
After I graduated, I moved in with an acquaintance from college. Martin was straight and thought I was too (although I wasn't per se "in the closet", I wasn't out of it either). He was one of the most sexiest men I had ever met. And I knew many a night was going to be spent in my room jacking off while fantasizing about my lips around his cock.
When we moved in together, Martin had just come out of a bad relationship. So he didn't date for awhile. He just stayed home and watched TV and played video games. Since I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible I stayed home too and was his video game playing partner. We found that we each had a passion for baseball and would spend many hours discussing the national pastime. I, of course, was falling in love.. He was kind, funny and extremely good-looking. He worked out with weights three times a week so he had a very sexy chest and shoulders that denoted strength without those gross rippling muscles you see on bodybuilders. His legs were strong and defined. His handsome face was square without looking mean. And he had that brilliant smile. A million dollar smile.
I had to mute my sex life so that I could live with this god and not make him uncomfortable. I didn't buy Playgirl, I didn't get gay porn. I kept my realistic 8 inch dong well hidden. Worst of all, I had to listen to him talk of unsatisfying sex with his ex-girlfriend. She hated to give blowjobs. He would have to beg for one. I wanted to cry out that he wouldn't need to ask me. I would gladly go down on him. This kind of talk would leave me straining to tell my feelings for him. Instead, every night in my bedroom I would fantasize about being held in his arms, kissing him all over his body, licking his balls and sucking him off to the best orgasm in his life.
After six months of this kind of living, Martin finally started to date and to soften the blow of losing him to some woman I started to indulge myself again. I bought gay porn, regularly visited gay sites on the Internet. I started to get careless with my stuff.