Chapter 1: New Beginnings
I had been accepted into graduate school during my final semester of college. I wasn't sure what I could do with my dual degrees in history and politics, but I knew there wasn't much. So, I did what any other reasonable young man would do and I decided to further my education and earn a masters degree in history (as if there was something I could do with that). Regardless, I've always imagined becoming: Dr. J. P. Harrington.
I said goodbye to my girlfriend, Erin, and drove to my new apartment in the mountains of northern Pennsylvania. One of the reasons I selected this school was because I could get home to her as quickly (only a three hour drive) as she could get to me. The second reason was that it is was the only acceptance letter I received and I was hellbent on moving on.
My first class, 20th Century Britain, was taught by a man I would come to know quite well over the next several months. He was just shy of six foot tall and had an average build. He was in his early 40s when I took his class and he seemed young and vibrant. I was immediately fascinated by his studies at Harvard and Oxford. He was very much what I aspired to become, but I was lacking his independent wealth and stellar academic tools.
I have always been interested in Europe and the World Wars, but even if I hadn't Dr. Phillips had a way with words that kept me enthralled in my studies. He was captivating, charismatic, and confident; the three hour lectures were over in the blink of an eye.
I had stayed behind the first two evenings to discuss politics and history with Dr. Phillips (who was simply called 'Sam' by his students). After an hour passed or so passed, it would be just he and I. He did most, but not all, of the talking. After the first three weeks of the semester we began to form a friendship. There was an obvious metamorphosis from professional to personal discussion. We talked about our families, experiences, and travels. It was at this point that I realized I had developed, what some might call, a 'man-crush' on my professor.
I had never been attracted to men. Although I had no problem with homosexuality, I knew (or at least thought that I knew) that it wasn't for me. However, he made me feel good, almost giddy, as we talked for hours. I wanted to believe these feeling were innocent. At the same time, I was unsure. I had never been so confused. I had never questioned my feelings this way. Everything became blurry as I was bombarded by signals and signs. Did he know how I was feeling? What would he do if he figured it out? What were the possible ramifications?
Then, he asked me to his house. Innocent as it may have been, questions raced through my mind.
It was a Saturday night and I, along with a few of my classmates, ventured to his home for some drinks and fellowship. I arrived about thirty minutes late - I didn't want to seem too eager - and I found them on his deck drinking beer from the bottle and snacking on food from a variety of trays. There was a lot of laughter that night as we listened to music and shared stories. There were six of us present including he and I. As the night ticked forward others began to leave. It was obvious that he didn't mind the company as he briefly contested the departure of each and every one of his guests.
As usual, it was just he and I in the end. I had a bit too much to drink, but that didn't stop me from prying the top from another bottle. He had too much as well but he had slowed down considerably as his guests began to leave.
I gestured toward my car at around 1 AM, but he reminded me of the consequences of drinking and driving and offered to keep me company while I sobered up. I felt obligated to stay awhile longer. I couldn't afford to be so reckless in leaving.
I began to fall asleep while sitting upright on a stool which prompted his offering of the guest bedroom. Although I knew it was going to make things awkward if I stayed, I decided it was for the best and I accepted his offer.
I fell asleep quickly but awoke just three hours later. I decided it would be best for me to leave now given that I had slept off my buzz. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I put my socks on my feet and tied my shoes. There was little else I needed to do since I had slept in my clothing. I tucked the sheet and comforter back into place before heading for the door. It was as I walked through the hall that I saw him sitting on his couch.
"Hey, Sam," I said as I walked toward him. He appeared startled. I thanked him for the fun night (and the place to crash) before I told him that I would be heading out. After all, I had no class on Monday and I was expecting Erin to arrive in a few short hours for two days of relaxation. Instantly, it became obvious, that I had interrupted him.
I could see that he was hard under the blanket covering his lap and I noticed that he had closed the laptop rather quickly after I entered the room. Had I just caught my professor in the act of masturbation? The thought brought butterflies to my stomach; I had no idea what to do. This was becoming a strange sequence of events.
He apologized quickly after he realized that I had put two and two together. "We all do it," I said as I put up my hands to signal that it was okay. He smiled. Then, the strange became even stranger. "Sit with me," he said. I couldn't help but to look down at the slightly lifted blanket and wonder what it might look like. He lifted his laptop screen and confirmed that it was porn he was watching. His reached under the blanket with one hand and gestured to me with the other.
I sat down beside him and watched the screen in disbelief as he moved his hand back and forth. He wasn't looking at me - but I couldn't help but look at him. "Come on," he said; and I did. I reached into my pants and began to massage my cock which became stiff quickly. He removed the blanket from his lap and exposed himself. I unbuttoned my shorts and exposed myself as well; he smiled. The surreal became very real in a matter of seconds.
For a few minutes I stroked my cock slowly while watching the movie - then I felt his hand grab my arm. He pulled my hand away and used his to stroke my dick.